statusquorebelOf course it is of great importance to me. However, our affairs with our fellows change— sometimes rapidly, sometimes gradually. Change is a natural part of the progression of life, and, yet, no soul desires sudden waywardness from the path he originally set upon. I understand that. The trials I faced in my own heart about the treachery and sinfulness of my affections were of my own inflicting, yes, and, indeed, I wasted precious, valuable time. We both did, you and I... He and I, even, were I... pressed for honesty, I suppose.
Still, I know you have done your best and if you could solve this problem now so cleanly, I am steadfast on my belief that you would, without hesitation. You have been patient, forgiving, sacrificing, even. Perhaps a suitable explanation for how the pieces lie now is merely that it is, truly, no one's fault, but only a matter of growth occurring exponentially, in separate directions. You could not control it any more than you can control the weather or the direction of the wind. There is no shame in that.
But peace...? After so much? No, I do not want that either. What has been done is disgusting, disrespectful, hypocritical, and altogether hurtful. But it was expected, wasn't it? We both knew it would happen. Not everyone is like you, or like me. You know... when I gave him my merit best to compromise and he refused, I did not understand why he would do such a thing. Now, though, I think maybe I do: anger is the only thing that straightens our backs and squares our shoulders on occasion. It is stronger than pride even, I think. When all is said and done, I want no tempting familiarity to threaten my independence. I want no arms waiting for me to return to them. I can see how you think that maybe that is what's for the best.
I wish there was some way I could guarantee the end would not also mean his end, or mine, or anyone's, but I cannot. This has happened before to you, has it not? Well, then you will survive, because you have before. And I will do my best to endure it— all of it. Saying goodbye is not the most difficult part; it is the preservation of the spirit afterwards that is.