r u d e

[buttpatting]

I do not "pat butts."

[it's just a saying, bro. you're master butt patter.]

Not even Boston butts. They require a firmer grip than just a pat.

I leave the patting to the farmer in charge.

Are we done?

Comments

[honorher]

..What are you talking about?

[buttpatting]

Pork.

[jeez abibaby don't you know what a boston butt is or did daddy focus on deer deer deer]

Or, in her case, coddling. I do no such thing.

[honorher]

[she can still gut you, you know]

If that's what you think.

[buttpatting]

[gurl u gettin a big head on u now u better check urself before u wreck urself

right into hanni's freezer]

Do you think I coddle you, Abigail? Do you think I give you more than what you deserve, being a victim of such atrocities?

[pricey]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

[buttpatting]

The only lady—if such a term could be used in regards to her—apparent is my mundane, and she hardly seems to be protesting anything at all.

It's a lack of restraint, and it's unappreciated.

[pricey]

[ doc nobody needs to know about how you like your restraints ]

Can't say I know you well enough to confirm your M.O., but I hope for her sake she wasn't expecting a pat of her very own.

[buttpatting]

[oh, fuck off to chilton with that shit. hannibaby's a pro.]

If I was saddled with someone who needed validation from fictional characters, I'd be concerned for more than just myself.

[zeller]

Does youthinks there might a reason you always show up when the subject of butts crops up?

keywords boo.

[pricey]

There just might. Think there's one you always show up nipping at my heels immediately after?

Three minutes, not even a new record.

[designates]

[ should he not find this funny or... ]

And I thought my distaste for psychiatry was bad.

[buttpatting]

[hannibal ain't here to tell you what you should and shouldn't do he'll just guide you all around and (cozy) you until you do what he wanted anyway]

For psychiatry, or psychiatrists? Which one is it truly, Will?

[my good will i cannot take dis anymore

luv me]

[designates]

[ wow this is me taking it all back; Hannibal cannot be hateboner because he's clearly the app-this-plz mod or maybe just every plurker on your timeline you watch to stab in the eye with a plastic spoon ]

One wouldn't exist without the other, so both, I guess.

[ no

wait, actually











no ]

[khatchadourian]

If you don't pat butts then how do you know so much about how to do it right?

[buttpatting]

I've worked with infants and babies on occasion. I've learned to be careful around those who need a gentle hand.

But they're hardly the same thing, in this case.

[khatchadourian]

Are they not? It's kinda hard to tell exactly what you're talking about, Sir...

[slightlyoffchilt]

Is this what a former surgeon occupies his hands with?

[buttpatting]

[chiltiboo you better keep good care of precious little william or hannibaby gone come after you

not that he can really die because lol silence of the lambs but hey have some fear]

Do you find a problem with this, Doctor Chilton? You seemed more than pleased when you came to my home for dinner not too long ago.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Of course -- I mean, yes, naturally. Naturally that I've enjoyed such a dinner.

[Wow Hanni way to make him all flustered and insecure! And make him picture you patting not-necessarily-meal-butts, oh my, now he feels silly.]

Who could question your hospitality?

hi i'm bored

[shrikes]

The names they pick usually contain some truth.

thank you for making it known you only care about me when it comes to being entertained

[buttpatting]

[beautiful daughter do you really want to start talking about this with your dad because that seems awks and also don't you know about D/s by now you hear it every day because your dads are kinky fucks]

Is this where we discuss yours, Abigail? Is that what you would like to talk about?

oh i. thought that was obvious??

[shrikes]

[ sry no when you guys fuck she goes right for the drug cupboard bc will's crymaxing makes her wanna gut a white boy ]

Already talked about it. And yours is more interesting.

[half_truths]

[She narrowly manages to turn her snort into a sort of muffled generic cough. She touches her face to ease the smile playing at her lips.

Maybe she should start cutting back on the wine...] Beg your pardon?

[buttpatting]

[If she starts blushing, Hannibal can check off a life goal.]

What do you need my pardon for, Doctor du Maurier? You've done nothing offensive.

[half_truths]

[Oh never fear, Hanniboo. She'll blush when you finally cook for her.]

I'm afraid I don't quite understand what I just walked into.
Are you...being accused of harassing a patient?