r u d e

[buttpatting]

I do not "pat butts."

[it's just a saying, bro. you're master butt patter.]

Not even Boston butts. They require a firmer grip than just a pat.

I leave the patting to the farmer in charge.

Are we done?

Comments

[buttpatting]

[Cry him a river, boo. You could have it so much worse.]

Something mild. Soft. Tender. I can't imagine your stomach has had enough time to get itself back together properly. I won't prepare anything for you that could upset it. I will consult my recipe book and come up with something that won't have unpleasant side effects.

[Smoker's lungs. Totally.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

It's true that I've been recovering with much gentler nutrition. Than usual. [Like spending quality time with an IV drip for those first few weeks, you know, as one mustn't have bits of semi-digested food and stomach acid just swimming about one's other organs.] So the consideration is much appreciated.

[Chilton's manner with Hannibal would be considered somewhat unique; he's deferential, polite. Even somewhat confidential. The man was open-minded enough to see prior matters from Chilton's perspective and understand the greater rationale -- what wasn't there to love?]

[buttpatting]

[Totally smoker's lungs, then. All that tar...no, no way. Hannibal wouldn't be able to deal with that well. Hrm. He'll have to figure this out later, because poor Chilton.]

Maybe a stew, then, with a gentle broth. You needn't worry about what I'll prepare for you, Frederick. I've prepared for people with various allergies and dietary restrictions [LOUNDS] in my time. This is nothing I cannot handle with the right amount of care taken into account.

[There's nothing not to love. Seriously. Not a thing. He's the most loveable guy out there.

Until he's met from across the way in a cell, of course.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Hannibal that's so thoughtful.]

Ah, yes, I imagine you've coordinated plenty of -- of difficulties, based on the audience. Your dinner table it quite the popular one. [He says it with his awkward smile laugh, because despite his affinity for Hannibal, he still isn't quite comfortable about being near the man. Weird.]

It is really quite kind of you. [A beat.] Surely Doctor Bloom won't be joining us?

[It's almost heartbreaking to conceive that this Chilton will think Hannibal is awesome until the moment it's revealed that he was just being fucked with THE WHOLE TIME and then pretend to be Hannibal's rival, yep.

Almost heartbreaking, but totally hilarious.]

[buttpatting]

[Chilton, please. Hannibal has put way more thought into way more complicated things than dinner for digestive pansies. It has nothing to do with you.

He'll pat your butt with his super fancy dinner just for you!!! though. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE FREDERICK I'M SURE IT WAS HORRIBLE IT'S SUCH A SHAME IT'S JUST AWFUL TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU NEED etc. etc. Only with no capslock because that's undignified.]

Would you like Doctor Bloom to join us, Frederick? I could extend an invitation if you'd like, but I suspect she would turn it down.

I believe she might take issue with you, current events taken into account. It has been a rough time for everyone involved.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I would rather she didn't. I'm not particularly pleased with her, either.

[His tone flatlines to its familiar aridity. There is no love lost between Frederick and Alana, none at all. No doubt he was even more agitated when he learned that Abel Gideon had failed to kill Alana Bloom (thanks to that pesky Will Graham!!), while he was the one to suffer so traumatically (discounting all those dead shrinks).

But Hannibal's demeanor, subtle as it is, nevertheless flatters Chilton. He'd love an evening just between him and Doctor Lecter -- clearly kindred souls, they are!! Or so Chilton likes to think.]

I'm sure my sentiment isn't welcomed, given that you've mentored her.

[buttpatting]

Excellent. I'll concoct something for us and we won't have to worry about unpleasant discourse at the dinner table.

[But watching Alana and Frederick go back and forth last time was amazing. Hannibal doesn't watch trashy tv where everyone argues, but he felt like he was in the audience. That shit was so prime it was like a fresh cutlet of veal.

Actual veal.]

We have no need to drag anyone else along. Let me know whenever your stomach has gotten itself together enough for you, and we will have a night in. [He leans forward because hey Hannibal can afford to be a bit more personable with Chilton. Better to get him wrapped around his finger in case Will goes a-rantin' and a-ravin' about who he actually is.] Boys' night in, just you and me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Actual veal, huh? Abigail was implicitly invited all along! OHOHOHO no one else would laugh, but that's the story of Chilton's life anyway.

Meanwhile, as Hannibal elegantly invades Chilton's personal space like so, Chilton can't help but feel somewhat cornered: a would-be concern that pales before the fact that he doesn't seem to actually mind this. Doctor Lecter, whom he admires, seems to like him and that's what Chilton really needs.

It helps to validate him.]

That -- goodness, that sounds absolutely divine. I've, ah, found it rather difficult to discuss personal matter concerning -- well, you know what I refer to. My peers aren't equipped to converse about trauma, I've found.

I thought that maybe we could talk about -- if it isn't inappropriate. Of course.

[Chilton is a shrink snob, news at eleven.]

[buttpatting]

[Hannibal is a pro at validation. Look at Jack Crawford and try to argue otherwise. When it comes to patting butts, you don't get any better than this bastard right here.]

Your matter with your recent trauma, you mean? [Shit, who does he think he is? People pay Hannibal to deal with this nonsense. What, is Chilton's budget getting tighter now that he has to wear Depends? JFC.] We can discuss it after dinner, if you'd like. It would be...unappetizing for the both of us, I would believe.

Not that I have trouble discussing such matters. Just the opposite. [How great would it be to have Chilton coming to his office and getting therapy on his own dime? That is absolutely divine. How can he resist?] If it continues to haunt you, you know where my office is.

[slightlyoffchilt]

It isn't as if it's unheard of for psychiatrists to seek psychiatric assistance. [Of course, this is said more to comfort himself rather than to argue the point with Hannibal. If only he knew about Bedelia, that would make his heart sing.

BUT HE DOESN'T SO HE'LL JUST ASSUMING HANNIBAL IS JUDGING HIM FOR INQUIRING AFTER THERAPY.]

But I wouldn't want to impose myself on your schedule, mind. I know you're in high demand for civilians. I'm sure that especially after the Graham incident your notoriety will soar. [A beat.] People can be such funny creatures, in that way.

[buttpatting]

[omg civilians chilton what do you think you are? A US Marine of the mind? Honey. Honey, hush.

This shit is so choice, but Hannibal isn't going to laugh. It's still really good shit though.]

No, it's not unheard of at all. I myself have a therapist. [Sing songs of his greatness, Fred's heart. Make them beautiful, accompanied by flute and lyre. You know Hannibal loves that elitist shit.] And do not worry about imposing yourself. It is no imposition at all. I would be quite honored if you chose me to be your doctor, in fact.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'll admit, it's quite tempting. This entire Chesapeake Ripper business has needled me, and I doubt anyone else quite understands the depth.

[OH THE DRAMATIC IRONY.]

It's surprising -- or rather, I find it surprising, that you see a therapist yourself. [The implicit question of why lingers in the air, but he won't inquire it because a) that's rude and b) if it wasn't to someone he actually liked, Chilton would be totally rude.]

[buttpatting]

The Ripper, I may not understand. I would not attempt to understand him unless it was required. This latest business with various murderers, however, has given me enough extra knowledge to assist you in any way.

[Hannibal's got you this. He's a fast learner. Learn from the master or be a rude boy until the day you die, those are you choices.]

Everyone needs help gauging themselves when times are not favorable. I believe this entirely. Should you need a gauge, I will be here for you.

[Man this has him all a tingling.

Doctor Lecter is the most brilliant man on the planet!

- Anonymous

(Spoiler: that's actually Hannibal, not anon)]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm hardly sure how I can thank you. [Actually Chilton just has issues about showing gratitude -- we all remember his "more or less" to Bloom.] But know that I feel much relieved, considering you a [resource? friend? companion? mirror?] suitable authority [to submit to?] to engage.

[Oh my god, Hanonnibal, I see you!!]

[buttpatting]

[Good God, this entire thing is divine. He can get Frederick all alone in his place and feed him and hear praises and then pat his back as he throws up all his sorrow and feed him your misery.]

Then it's settled. Night in, my place, you call whenever you have need of me. I look forward to any discussions we may have, about anything at all.

[This is a lie because Chilton will bore him out of his head, but hey. He can front.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[WOW it's amazing how unfortunate altering of the text size in one's window makes "bore" look like "bone".]

I'd like to keep our topics relatively focused.

[Establishing boundaries already. Chilton, like most everyone in the canon, isn't keen to have his own self analyzed in depth. Any misplaced trust in Hannibal's abilities allows the other man in, yes, but only to a point. While it was a relief that Hannibal didn't chastise Chilton for his corrosive ethics (enabled him more, even!), Frederick had embodied no intention of airing that possibility.

THANKS A LOT, ALANA.]

[buttpatting]

[Don't flatter yourself, Chiltiboo. Let Hannibal do that for you, minus the boning.

Hey so you want to pick apart Will, fine. Maybe Hannibal will get it into his head to pick Frederick apart.

Physically. Later.]

I won't press for anything you would rather avoid. Do not fret yourself with such a thing.

[There are other things to fret about in regards to Hannibal.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Because Chilton is such a dominant in that situation amirite













painful to type.]

Oh, I assure you, I don't doubt that you listen with finesse. ["Listen" clearly emphasized. Chilton isn't above little powerplays, even when he's the one seeking aid.] You'll have little need to engage my more infamous methods, won't you?

[It's perverse, his glee in acknowledging what he did to Abel. Perverse and yet, he trusts Hannibal can appreciate the whimsy.]

[buttpatting]

[Painful to read, too.]

Of course not. You know your identity, Frederick; you don't need anyone to tell you who you are. You have just had a difficult time. Seeking help is perfectly normal.

[blah blah chilton you're great blah blah needy bastard]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Of course. [He intones, somewhat subdued under Hannibal's hypnotic reassurance. Chilton couldn't ignore the other man's atmosphere, and the power invoked from it. Could anyone blame him for being somewhat intoxicated by it?

He always picked such vibrant men to be fascinated by -- though, admittedly, Chilton won't know the full brunt of this specific fascination for some years.]

But I can't let such a natural impulse leak out, you understand. Regardless of the rationality, it does look... Suspect. I am running an asylum, after all.

[buttpatting]

You forget who you're talking to, Frederick.

[Danger, danger. Not that Hannibal lets anything dark out in his words, but he doesn't want Chilton to think he has to stand on some sort of pretense with him. Not now, at least. Later, maybe, when he's dealing with him in much more hands-on ways than listening to his problems.]

Running an asylum is not an easy task; I commend you for it. But, as you have called it natural already, let it be known that there is nothing suspicious about it. Everyone needs someone, from time to time. You needn't worry about how such a thing looks when it is only you and I who know.

[Unless Chilton wants to brag about his doctor being Hannibal Lecter, and then by all means. Go crazy.

Literally.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Hah, ah, I won't argue that point. [His grin is sheepish, almost deferential -- but not quite there. For whatever unique admiration Hannibal yields from him, Chilton is nevertheless an egotist. He won't bend wholly without a fight.]

I'm sure my anxiety is unfounded, but since my attack at the hands of Abel Gideon, I'm somewhat -- [convinced that people think less of him] -- made hyper aware of how that might reflect upon the hospital.

[Aw yeah, good save.]

I wouldn't want our funds compromised, of course. It is state regulated.

[buttpatting]

Psychiatrists being attacked by their patients is more common than people might believe. If I am attacked, it is in my office and I have no one but myself to rely on, unless I have hidden a firearm under my desk.

You have orderlies, yes, but your patients are not regular people who are just tired of living and wanted a punching bag. Someone to slap. Your patients are violent and disturbed, and it is highly likely that they could harm you without any hope of you recovering fully in the few seconds it would take help to arrive.

If the state cannot take the little time it takes to read the statistics about patients attacking their doctors and take into account the difference between most patients and yours, then the fault is not your own. If such a thing were to happen, I believe you could sue, could you not?

[blah blah chilton your work is so dangerous you're so brave i can't imagine that horror blah blah americans like to sue thing don't they blah blah the government is dumb blah blah would you like some ham?]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Sue, yes, to secure my immediate situation -- but potentially sabotage my long term relationship with the association in the meanwhile. It isn't very fun, is it, being the ousted party.

[Being hated, despised? No problem. But being torn from his power source, being banished from his only value of validation? Chilton might just yield before the state, in that regard. No matter how much he agreed with Hannibal's opinions on government.

As long as it wasn't his sort of governing under critical eye.]

It's nice that -- [Hannibal is listening to him.] I ah, just wanted to say how much. I appreciate this.

[buttpatting]

[Hannibal will go up to bat for Chilton, if he needs him to and it gets Hannibal something that he wants. More of the man's adoration, perhaps, because when the inevitable happens, the look on his face—not only did he dine at the cannibal's table, but he considered him something akin to a friend, and how could a friend do such a thing?

Hannibal's dinner parties certainly include people he wouldn't consider friends, after all. But Chilton, invited for private dinners...how could they not be friends in some capacity?]

You're welcome, Frederick. What are old friends to do if not be there for each other in times of need?