r u d e

[buttpatting]

I do not "pat butts."

[it's just a saying, bro. you're master butt patter.]

Not even Boston butts. They require a firmer grip than just a pat.

I leave the patting to the farmer in charge.

Are we done?

Comments

[honorher]

[she can still gut you, you know]

If that's what you think.

[buttpatting]

[gurl u gettin a big head on u now u better check urself before u wreck urself

right into hanni's freezer]

Do you think I coddle you, Abigail? Do you think I give you more than what you deserve, being a victim of such atrocities?

[honorher]

[EYEBROW RAISE]

No. But I can't speak for Will.

[buttpatting]

Do you ever think you could speak for Will, Abigail? Is that something you'd like to be able to do?

[honorher]

No....? Why would I?

[buttpatting]

You brought him up all on your own. I didn't mention him. Either my association with Will is the first thing you think of when it comes to me, or you've something to say about him.

Is there something you need to tell me, Abigail?

[honorher]

Yes. I--

[a seriously dramatic pause.]

I'm in love with Will Graham.

[is she kidding? you'll never know.]

[buttpatting]

[jfc how does this happen to hiiiim he made his mistaaakes

actually no he never makes mistakes he's a flawless human being.]

Is that so.

[not a question, nope.]

That's why you speak with Freddie Lounds about writing a book, Freddie Lounds who spends so much time reminding Will of his mental distress. Is it the man you love or the presentation you've been, most falsely, given of him?

[honorher]

[oh and there's the snort of laughter reserved just for you.]

Why would I be in love with the image of a guy who's gone wacko?

[She frowns, considering.]

Do you think I like it? The attention?

[buttpatting]

Why would you be in love with Will in the first place? It would never happen on his end, not to mention such a thing would be very unhealthy.

You need to take your time to get back on track. He saw you and was there for you at a very difficult time in your life, Abigail. This does not make him someone you ought to rely on for the rest of your life.

[all you need is hannibaby

...and his freezer]