r u d e

[buttpatting]

I do not "pat butts."

[it's just a saying, bro. you're master butt patter.]

Not even Boston butts. They require a firmer grip than just a pat.

I leave the patting to the farmer in charge.

Are we done?

Comments

[pricey]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

[buttpatting]

The only lady—if such a term could be used in regards to her—apparent is my mundane, and she hardly seems to be protesting anything at all.

It's a lack of restraint, and it's unappreciated.

[pricey]

[ doc nobody needs to know about how you like your restraints ]

Can't say I know you well enough to confirm your M.O., but I hope for her sake she wasn't expecting a pat of her very own.

[buttpatting]

[oh, fuck off to chilton with that shit. hannibaby's a pro.]

If I was saddled with someone who needed validation from fictional characters, I'd be concerned for more than just myself.

[pricey]

You don't seem to mind the fictional part. Surprising lack of existential crises going on around here.

[buttpatting]

Do you mind it? Has your own crisis already hit you?

There is no reason to be alarmed when it's a reality that's obviously truth. No need to grieve.

[pricey]

I'd say I'm too old for this shit but then I risk reminding Brian that Lethal Weapon exists.

[buttpatting]

You're never too old for a crisis.

Or young, as you may have run across in your studies.

[pricey]

Keeps you in business. [ and the liquor stores. there's a macklemore song for that, right? ]

[buttpatting]

I would like to believe the patients I see come to me in order to prevent a crisis. Unfortunately, such is not always the case.

[i wear your doctor's clothes
i look incredible]

[pricey]

And in which case would you consider a good fondle the best prescription?

[ whatchu know about rockin a stag in ya noggin
whatchu knowin about wearin a very well-tailored person suit ]

[buttpatting]

[hannibaby knows all about both of those
price u mad bro]

I'm afraid you'll have to fill out some paperwork before we start such a line of discussion.

[pricey]

[ shit no he got the velcros ]

I'm pretty sure you're out of my price range.

[buttpatting]

[wow man share the wealth]

Prices can be negotiated, in regards to which insurance company the patient would be using.

[pricey]

And how does one become eligible for the special agent discount?

[buttpatting]

[oh, you know, kill somebody and then get all apeshit over it and need buttpats all over the place and be willing to eat anything on your plate and also wear glasses because that look is so h0t]

Are you seriously inquiring? You might ask Jack Crawford, if the reasoning is because of your job. You can inquire at my office during work hours if you are uncertain, but I can always work in a new patient if the need is real.

[pricey]

[ girl you are too serious for him, and your username. mostly your username. ]

I think I'm gonna stick to self-medication for now. No offence but the results so far with Mr. Graham aren't exactly blowing us over at the BSU out of the water.

[buttpatting]

[stop calling him a girl purposeful misgendering is awful and you should feel awful]

Will Graham is a very special individual with very extreme needs. Every patient is different and must be handled accordingly. If you are implying that my work with Will was a failure, that does not negate the numerous cases with success I have had over the years.

There's no call for you to be rude, Mister Price.

[season 2 calls for jimmy stew, gj]

[pricey]

[ jesus lady he said "no offence" don't you know that means you're not allowed to be offended. join the rest of us here in 2013 dear mr. darcy ]

Rude, realistic. [ potato tomato potato tomato ] I don't doubt you're a skilled psychiatrist, which is why it'd be almost criminal for me to waste your time with a relatively healthy childhood or my experimental college years. Obviously you're good enough to have deflected this entire conversation away from the fact that you pat butts.

[buttpatting]

[that is some ricky bobby shit get it OUT OF MY HEAD]

I do no such thing. [lies lies lies] I would be more inclined to ignore butts than do anything else with them.

[how many times can hannibal say butts before it stops being funny place your bets price]

okay literally before i read that my tag back was just "say butts some more"

[pricey]

But we could give you a pithy nickname. The Boston Buttpatter. Freddie Lounds can do her first fluff piece. [ oh shit he's excited now ]

buttpatting butt butt buttpatting

[buttpatting]

In order to give me a "pithy nickname," it would do well to not consult Freddie Lounds. She has no real sense of wit about her, so she would be incapable of providing good suggestions.

[and that bitch hates meat

you know what hannibaby hates?

bitches who hate meat and say as much at his table

who the hell does that woman think she is]

actual things i just said out loud "oh a boston butt is a butt!"

[pricey]

Rawr, and the claws come out. All right, we never get do get the perpertrator's opinion until after the fact. What would you prefer?

Just -- pretend you have a sense of humour.

[zeller]

Does youthinks there might a reason you always show up when the subject of butts crops up?

keywords boo.

[pricey]

There just might. Think there's one you always show up nipping at my heels immediately after?

Three minutes, not even a new record.