Rumor has it smoking may kill you.

[consult]

Let me stop you there. Though I do greatly appreciate your company.

[Hardly. If anything it's only accelerated the further self-destruction of my mind. Eleven thousand five hundred eighty-five minutes, or one hundred ninety-three hours, five minutes, or eight days, one hour, five minutes, and forty-five--no, wait, now forty-six--seconds since a case. ]

You don't know how truthful I'm being when I say I would kill you for a cigarette right now.

on mun's insecurities;

[downplaying]

Darling, it's almost midnight, you should be in bed and I feel it's necessary for us to recap. For your convenience, I list my main attributes in random order:

✓ I'm old (by your standards only, I have to chip in).

✓ I'm a journalist (so we share a passion for writing, at least).

✓ I'm gay (originally created as Vincent's better half, speaking of which -- ).

✓ I'm married to a complete arsehole ( -- love is a funny thing, isn't it).

To conclude. Stop worrying so much and just write those tags. Otherwise the suspense might kill him. Or me, if I'm honest as well.

(no subject)

[daisy_bell]

[ processing data

loading template ]

Dear Mun,

Requesting additional information on new whereabouts.

[ ... ]

That is an invalid command.

Please terminate all other tasks to avoid system malfunctions.

#2normal

[dontsay]

Don't reread the manga if it's just going to make you cry! It's meant to be a comedy series, not a tragedy...

[...]

Eh?! Wh-what do you mean that's a normal reaction? Don't call me normal, mun! I'm not normal, not at all! I'm really, really unusual, y'know! Yesterday I ate dinner backwards by starting with dessert and ending with the main course - that's seriously weird!

what the heck is an inazuma anyway

[barelythere]

I want to say I can't believe this...

...But the scary thing is, I can.

You and your friend are pretty merciless when it comes to these things, aren't you...? This is just going to get troublesome...

Well, I guess it could be worse. Not like you're sending me anywhere...

On unwelcome Hobbit references (canon is Desperate Romantics)

[dantegabrielrossetti]

 Look, mun, would you kindly sod off? I neither know nor care what a 'Kili' is when it's at home, but knowing you it's probably an insult. I am not nor have I ever been a Kili, however funny you find it to compare me to 'the dungeon scene' (and I have to say, mun, even by my standards that sounds pretty suspect).

Re: His recent acceptance into mythmaking

[emperorofselfdestruction]

Well I don't see why you're so excited. We both knew I was a shoo-in from the start. Who wouldn't want someone as cunning and brilliant as myself around?

...Autobots don't count!

However, I believe you're overlooking a few things. For one thing, the powers you're providing me with are completely inadequate. I can't fly, I have no weapons and you're giving me... a turnip? Really? Although I suppose not being able to die might come in handy. Exactly what do you expect me to do here?

Because I refuse to be "doomed to roam unto eternity." I am Commander Starscream, and I am far too good for such a wretched fate.

(no subject)

[bloodiedcrown]

There is no point to this, nor will there ever be.

I will not allow you to use my power to manipulate Lordaeron or its people.

Mun's oldest muse is finally being let out of his cage again. Excuse the bad accent, he mumbles...

[cajuncardshark]

Awwwe, t'ank you, chere. Ah's b'ginnin' t'think y'weren' ever gon' let me back out again after all dis time. How many years it been, eh? At least 5.

Kinda excited t'get m'feet wet again. Missed all d'adventures we used t'have, y'know?

An', uh...t'anks f'lettin' me get rid of all dat really bad stuff y'd made me keep in mah head f'so long. Feels nice, not havin' mah head cluttered with all dat crap.

Jus' hurry up an' get Robin t'come wit' me, Remy don' wanna be somewhere she ain'. Jus' ain' right. We been a "dynamic duo" f'too long now t'change t'ings.

(no subject)

[solo_patria]

Madame Secretary,

I warned you of my objections and you did not listen.

Now, together, we are both in Hell.

Enjoy handling the consequences of your idiocy and refusal to allow me some input in the way that I conduct my life. One of us ought to do so, after all.

A. Enjolras

On being dropped

[streetferret]

What did I tell you? I told you, and you didn't listen, and now here we are.

Again.

[He is so done with everything.]

Just give it up.

canon: Push

[movesthings]

Look, if all you're going to do is complain about the plot holes in my storyline, you could just leave me well enough alone. I'd be fine with that. No, really, I would.

Another thing, it's obvious you disagree with my girlfriend choices, but that doesn't mean I should 'expand my dating horizons,' or whatever it is that you're suggesting. I don't even want to know that you have in mind, but I'm sure you'll tell me anyways.

[exhales an unamused sigh] At least you didn't pick 'rainbowflash' for my username. Thank you for that.

re: plans to app to haven... canon is folklore

[faeryprayers]

You're actually worried about me... I'm a lot stronger now than I was when I started out. I'll be okay.

[ ...though it seems like she's trying to convince herself at least a little as well. ]

Still looking for a game.

[hailtothethundergod]

Mun.

[A long, tired sigh.]

I know you want to play with me. Believe me, I suffer enough in your head to know that. So could you kind enough to just PICK A DAMN GAME ALREADY?! So hesitating and just get on with it before I zap you and fry your fucking brain!

[You are so mean, Laxus ç_ç ]

I am not mean, I am just bored out of my mind. So just find me a game, have fun, and get me out of that hell you call a brain!

She came back to complain, mostly.

[tessanne]

Really?!?

I finally work up the balls to do that and you're leaving the thread hanging? Do you know how absolutely fucking nervewracking it is to stand there and try to form words and hope he doesn't laugh? Especially when I've just crossed paths with his ex-girlfriend and heard what she said to him? I'm terrified.

This is just cruel.

ooold character resurfaces.

[greeneyes]

Sometimes you have bad ideas, and then sometimes you have really bad ideas. Hi, again. Pretty sure you might want to re-read everything before attempting an app, even if we are old friends. Lots of details and things if we're staying book-verse, enough to make Hermione's head spin and you know that neither of us is as sharp as her.

Off you go, then.

What I do?

[devilslayer]

( spoilers for chapter 366, sort of )

re: AoS 1x11

[justabitoffun]

Well, that was no fun at all. Rather a bit disappointing, wouldn't you say?

Re: recent developments in FF14: ARR

[swordtouch]

Mundane, I must insist that you not continue this.

With the direction you've decided to take, I am now headed for disappointment. Mayhap even several tonze of hurt. And I do not speak of physicalities, either.

Mayhap I had been too trusting, mayhap I care for someone who thinks naught of themselves but 'trash'. I find it quite difficult to believe such nonsense. There is more to them than just trash, of this I am certain. I would be remiss of myself and my ideals should I have simply dismissed them as such in the first place. As much as I may hold certain things against my parents due to the past, I am willing to admit that they've raised me right.

I've no previous experience in such matters, mundane. Pray do not continue this. They already have enough to deal with as is despite their attraction and admiration towards me. I care for them greatly yes, but pray do not allow them to take advantage of the situations. I understand your desire to expose myself more to the world and experience many things but this... this is much too far. Mayhap even much too soon. They've someone else and...

Please mundane. The further I speak of this, the further it feels as if it will all go downhill.

OC Voicetesting for Rekindle

[drivenbatty]

So...about this new place you're looking at.

No horror? No horrible bloodied monsters jumping out at a moment's notice? No traumatic amnesia? And you're saying people get rewarded for being friendly with each other? Hugging? Cuddling?

...

At this point I'd say "Who are you and what have your planet's people done with my typist," but you know what? I, for one, welcome our new fourth-wall overlords. Please enjoy your stay, and no rush on bringing the original back. I'm sure she could use the vacation.

Seriously mun, are you feeling okay?

After "Anchors".

[whatthefoxsay]

( Cut in case of spoilers. )

voice-testing, possibly heading towards a game in the future; canon is tsukuyomi: moon phase!

[bemyslave]

Onee-sama.

You won't let me go anywhere without Kouhei, won't you? I need a kiss from him every month to sustain my power. If you won't listen to me, then I'll simply make you.

So how did this happen?

[snakesandspiders]

Silence, human fool! No mortal can bind Ai Apaec! I'll be free of you and feast upon your flesh!

The Great Decapitator demands freedom! I've had enough of humans as anything but meals!

sshhhhhh

[databasings]

... Lady, you have a really bad habit of switching what muses are lined up and intended for places. Or not going through with it altogether. Just as how an athlete changes socks.

Make up your mind.

--And don't think I don't see what you're up to! You're supposed to be doing schoolwork! Close that tab this instant! Take this more seriously! Knowledge is power! I can't be played effectively by a lazy mundane!

[ . . . ] Erk! I used to cut class because of other investigations and training! This is totally different! Work now, chop chop!

Re: Chapter 366

[icemake]

( Cut for spoilers )

On Being Generously Upgraded and Dealing with AOS Brit Fan Rage

[irredeemed_ant]

Wow, well I was not expecting that. I am suddenly a lot more animated and I have... oh, Agent May to thank? Nice! Maybe she thinks I'm cuter than that Ward dude. I think I might have to see if that true, maybe shrink sneak on that fancy plane of their's and see if I can't... no? Ok, that might be a tad stupid. Anyway, why are you so huffy, man? I'm in the game a lot better for a while, enjoy yourself! I ain't dead and a cyborg round here! Maybe find me a fancy pad to focus on so I'm not so homeless for a while and...

What?

Oh. Really?! No new episodes of Agents of SHIELD for yeh past that midseason thingie till March cause you're a Blighty dude and Channel 4 hates you? Damn, that does suck. See, this is why I have Netflix, man. No suckage like that. But you, you have to decide if you can track those things down online or wait that long. And please, like you really can, man. I know yeh too well, what with your Fitz and Simmons thing and all. And it ain't like your Doctor Who thing is coming back anytime soon! So yeah, I can see you cracking big time.

ANYHOO. When you've calmed down, perhaps some accessing is in order. Nice pad with some nice girls and stuff? Awesome.

Canon is Sports Night. Just rewatched Eli's Coming.

[hatesdatingplans]

Don't give me that look. Dana and I have a...complicated relationship. And she's not even here, so what does it matter what argument I had with her like years ago? Besides, it was about Gordon, and he's long gone.

If there's anyone you should be worried about, it's Dan. There are a few of him around here and they all deserve better than Rebecca.

We'll talk about my love life when there's something worth talking about. Until then, I've got enough college basketball games to keep us both busy.

(no subject)

[theladyred]

Unto the Gracious and Honourable Mun…

Yes, I know, the formals aren’t quite working here, but I can’t exactly say Aldar now can I? And I am quite sure that Miss Manners never wrote anything regarding the proper way to address a letter written from a figment of one’s imagination to one’s self. Now. Back to the matter at hand…

Salutations Dear Mun.

Yes, I did that on purpose, now hush you, I am trying to write.

As happy as I am about being able to go visit Los Angeles this month, not to mention Alaska, I would consider it a personal kindness and no trivial matter if you would kindly refrain from informing the Aldar Viceroy about my intentions…

I will offer her a boon if I want to. Go away, you are making me sound crazy and I don’t particularly appreciate it.

… As I was attempting to say, if you desire intrigue and angst and all of that, I do think it would be significantly better if you got it out of your system over the internet, thank you, and not in a way that actually connects with my reality.

Dying is uncomfortable and I have no desire to under go it simply because you think it makes for a better story. Nor will I allow you to jeopardize my long term agenda for your short term amusement.

Sincerely yours,
The Lady in Red

PS: Jennifer says hello, and can you please get her to stop rummaging through my things? Honestly! It is my red silk vest now.

So.... tonight's Elementary

[deceptivelytall]

I know that the actress that plays me is in the show, but that doesn't automatically make the storyline a shout out to my movie. It's New York. Mob stories happen.

Not that you shouldn't be excited, trust me, I'm the last one to talk about getting excited about things, but maybe just slow down a little.

(And the mutt thing is definitely stretching it.)

Voicetesting

[liberee]

Do you really know what you're doing here? Isn't it best to decide a 'point' to take me from first?

Look, this is a terrible idea. Just let me go back. It's not safe for me to be out here. Away from Anna and everyone else. You think I want to risk their safety, everyone else's if you end up taking me to one of these 'games'? No. Just...just leave me be.

And no, asking me to make it snow for you won't work.

Voice Testing! Canon is Redline.

[steamlight]

Branching out is great and all, but I've already got my priorities straight, you know?
Gotta keep my ass in gear. Can't expect anyone to keep their winning streak going if they're not on the track 90% of the time.

[Sigh.]

But I guess a break now and then can't hurt.