Dear Mun . . .

Do you know, we did not only do it for the poor of Paris whose wishes we apparently discarded, in spite of the July Revolution. They were a catalyst, and perhaps one that we used as the main focal point, but all of us, our band of brothers, also did it for ourselves.

I cannot say I would conduct myself much differently, as that which drove my actions was the calling of necessity, but there we are, then, aren't we? Hypocrissy, perhaps, but living in a world against the constraints of our consciences was not quite living either, was it?

...I can only hope that they, and she would not have found me lacking. I know enough that my brothers, and you, do not, and there is comfort there, no matter if it's deserved or no.

I doubt that any others understand, but then, perhaps, they were not meant to. Those who need it know enough, and perhaps that is all that matters.

No, truthfully, I hate you. I hate you and I have every reason to do so. You continue to force me to remain in a place where my freedom is restricted beyond any reasonable levels, when every month since this trip to the worst hell I have ever known, I have begged you to remove me from that place of suffering beyond any I have ever personally known.

I am aware that it makes me lucky to have never have known worse tortures and persecutions, but when there is an easy solution towards removing myself from it, and you refuse to let me have it, I can very safely say, Madame, that you torment and oppress me beyond any stretch of reasonable behavior. I will contend, too, that even Malicant, at the worst points of my capture, would not have sought, or loved my misery, nor caused even half as much pain or suffering towards me personally. That you continue to drool at the concept of forcing me through such a disgusting display further proves your deep disturbances and your complete lack of regard for anyone, save for your own amusement.

There can be no regard for any, male or female, adult or child, countryman or one who hails from somewhere lesser, who seeks to ravage the soul and spirit as you do, and I refuse to pay it to you just the same.

You might make me suffer the agony of having every moment monitored, of having to beg permission from my captors for each unhindered breath I take, breaths that are allowed only in minute increments and of the most shallow sort, but there are things which neither you, nor any "agent", nor Combeferre, as brainwashed as he has become, and as biased as he is in his preference toward them, can force me into doing and being and I intend to see them out, no matter what the consequences.

They may chain me up in the temple now, and may restrict my movements and my speech beyond anything reasonable, but they cannot make me eat, or sleep, or carry on supporting their oppression by "working" for them. And truthfully, I should think they will be pleased that I plan to spend my days in starring at the walls of our disgusting cell, as I will be doing exactly what they intended with their idiotic decrees of dragging me into a prison I cannot escape, which is being restricted and tortured. I do not, however, have to gift any of them with any real response.

Had I known that such a fate awaited me when you determined you were going to place me in that world of suffering and pain, I would never have agreed, for there is nothing, anywhere, and no person anywhere to make any of this worthwhile. Instead, I shall be sitting here and loathing all of you complicit in my torture for the rest of my life, or rather, death, or whatever it is, with you.

-A. Enjolras

I told you I was willing to negotiate if you would be willing to consider a reasonable course of action. You've found one at last, and, so, we have our accord:

One more month, and then we re-visit this.

I doubt that anything will change my mind, but, nonetheless, I am willing to see it out now that I know there is an end to the torture in sight.

Perhaps you are a human after all.

-A. Enjolras

I am not sorry, and I mean every word of what I say. Things have, at least, become marginally better, but I still remain trapped in a near eternal Hell where there is no respite, where I am judged wrongly, and unfairly, and expected not only to perform, but to submit to the will of those who are wrong, who call themselves gods but make statements and allegations that are bald faced lies in nearly every instance, where they seek to turn me into nothing but a slave, and where nothing will improve from the way that it is now ever again.

You've helped enough, and Combeferre has helped enough, but this is not a world I wish to exist in, and there is nothing further in it that can move me to stay, or to behave as if I am only your performing monkey. There is nothing in the injustice, the corruption, and the lies, the insults and the perversions of everything I care for that can reconcile me to be happy, or to pretend at happiness here.

I know that you will never listen, and I will forever be trapped, because I do not dare to dream that I might be allowed to escape, but I do not have to like the fact, or anything at all about the place now that so much has changed. I request that you remove me now, but knowing that will never happen, I, at least, request that you leave me alone to die here next time I throw myself at death if you are not willing to free me through more conventional means.

I thought that we had had an understanding, and it seems I have thought wrong.

As you continue to allow this, I continue to lose respect and faith in you.

-A. Enjolras

Remove me from the fucking game at once. You've seen me when you force me into things I do not want to do, and I very much do not want to be there. They have tried their best to take Combeferre from me, and it has been working, might I add? ,to force me into servitude by calling themselves "gods" and passing judgment on me when they have no right, and proving, through their false charges that they disregard me and those who I am no longer with. They have taken everything that was remotely going to be good about the place from me and I will never be able to get it back.

I would rather die altogether than spend one second longer in that place. Tell them that you are too busy, and that you've decided no to dragging me through all of it. There is nothing there to make me happy since they've been allowed to take him from me and shove all of us into slavery without even allowing us to be together for one moment of the day.

I am through. And I will make your experience there miserable until you've pulled me from the game.

-A. Enjolras