Rumor has it smoking may kill you.

[consult]

Let me stop you there. Though I do greatly appreciate your company.

[Hardly. If anything it's only accelerated the further self-destruction of my mind. Eleven thousand five hundred eighty-five minutes, or one hundred ninety-three hours, five minutes, or eight days, one hour, five minutes, and forty-five--no, wait, now forty-six--seconds since a case. ]

You don't know how truthful I'm being when I say I would kill you for a cigarette right now.

Comments

[theflatmate]

Still having trouble with the patches, then?

[consult]

My trouble with patches is as consistent, and ongoing as your incessant need to state and question the obvious.

[theflatmate]

Try another, it might help with the craving.

I have gum, too, if you need it.

[consult]

Already wearing three, a fourth may not be the wisest idea. Might be the most promising thing you've suggested.


Thank you, John, what'll you propose next? Keeping a baby carrot between my teeth?

[theflatmate]

Three already, you really are in a rut. [ next he'll have to investigate for property damage. ]

Something to occupy you. A case. There's loads waiting for you, you're just too stubborn to take any of them.

[consult]

There you go pointing out the obvious again.

[ Sherlock's emaciated fingers drummed rapidly on his arm rests, as his fast twisted into an almost offended if not disgusted expression.]

Can you not comprehend that taking any of their pointless cases formed by their own paranoia referring a potentially (definitely) cheating husband, or repeatedly missing car keys would be no better than this torture?

[acclimatize]

Were you always this dramatic or did it develop during puberty?

[consult]

Perhaps it wouldn't even take a cigarette.

[It's not as if I haven't tired myself from the mental exercise of your murder already.]

[acclimatize]

Whatever you say.

[consult]

That's it. I need a case.

At least turn your back for three minutes so I can smoke, will you?

[acclimatize]

N o p e.

Don't give in to it now, Sherlock.

[consult]

Then find me something to pass the time.

[acclimatize]

[ looooong pause. ]

I'll play Risk with you.

[ Even if it was one of those games John swore he would never, ever play with Sherlock again. ]

[consult]

[Slight pause; Sherlock blinking twice.]

Really?

[acclimatize]

[ Taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Because he knows how this could go. ]

Yes.

[consult]

[Once John had replied Sherlock immediately kicked the board game within it's confinement out from underneath his chair where he had it tucked away, and in a fluid motion the detective swiped it up before placing it firmly on his thighs. He then propped his elbows on the slightly worn cardboard, steepling his fingers together before leaning forward slightly in his seat, a sickeningly tight smile pulling the corners of the detective's mouth upward.]

When should we start?

[acclimatize]

[ John stares at him for a moment, ]

You had it under your chair the whole time...

[ He hates it when he plays right into Sherlock's plan. ]

[consult]

Problem?

[Sherlock looked and sounded too smug for his own good.]

I can always go out on the fire escape and smoke if you'd prefer.

[acclimatize]

Just shut up and pick your color.

[ You smug bastard. ]

[consult]

I wouldn't advise holding such an unbecoming expression. Your face might get stuck like that.

[Not a case. Far from. But something to keep occupied.]

And I'll take blue.

[thewomanwhocounts]

Sherlock, please don't put any bodies in my morgue. I get enough overtime already.

There are other ways to pass the time that are healthier than murder and/or cigarettes, you know.

[consult]

Yes, one of those things being to solve crimes.

[thewomanwhocounts]

Which, with you, usually includes murder. Right. You have very specific interests. [And she's not one of them but that's fine because thankfully she's completely and totally over him, yup.] Can't John find you something to do before you start getting violent?

[consult]

He's got dinner plans with Mary.

[There was almost a sneer in his voice. Almost. Not that he didn't like Mary, he thought she was quite pleasant, John's taste has improved substantially--but was it so wrong to be jealous?]

Plus, already hacked into his blog and email. Absolutely nothing of interest.

[A sigh. Irritation not exhaustion. His analytic optics quickly focused on Molly.]

Is there a reason you stopped by? I'm sure you are busy with Todd.

[thewomanwhocounts]

[While she can say any number of things rather than just stare at him as he all but exudes jealousy and blatantly admits to hacking into John's things, she settles on the more important part here.]

Tom. It's Tom. And being in a relationship doesn't mean I won't try to stop you when you go around threatening to kill people for a cigarette, you know.

I don't suppose suggesting you read a book or take a trip to the cinema would help with your boredom?

[consult]

[He doesn't really care. Won't attempt to feign an apologetic look. Instead he quirked a brow, giving her a look over.]

Todd, Tom, doesn't really matter does it? Not as if I'll be seeing him again since your engagement with him was cut off. Would give deepest apologies but for the best, it wouldn't have lasted more than five years. I'd bet on three really.

[Sherlock gives her a look, almost looks repelled, seems rather irritated by the suggestion, perhaps offended by its simplicity.]

Don't you think I've already tried that?

[In all honesty he hadn't tried either of those options.]

[thewomanwhocounts]

Sherlock! I hope you don't give John and Mary estimates on how long their marriage will last!

No, I don't. They're far too mundane for you to even give them a fair chance, even if they might surprise you.