Unhappy Spy is a dangerous Spy.

[not_onyourside]

I do not like zhis place anymore. Take me back to zhe ozzer one. Zhat was better. Everyone here ees cranky and irritable.

And zhey keep secrets from me. No one keeps secrets from me.

No one.

Comments

[hasstandards]

No one can, or no one ought to?

[not_onyourside]

No one can.

[Smile~~]

[hasstandards]

[He had a feeling that was it.]

Right. If you say so.

[not_onyourside]

I do say so, Alan.

[More smile.]

And zhis place ees not as nice as zhe ozzer one. Eet ees making everyone irritable. I do not like eet.

[hasstandards]

[Instant panic flashes across his face, followed by disgruntled hissing.]

I don't care what you don't like. You don't go repeating what you know to anyone, got it?

[not_onyourside]

Of course I do not! I am a Spy not some common gossiper on zhe street corner.

[His eyes narrow, offended Sniper would even think that.]

See! You are irritable as well! Zhere must be somezzing een zhe water.

[lures]

Isn't that half the fun?

[not_onyourside]

Zhe secrets? Or finding zhem out?

[lures]

[ she mouths the word "both." can monsieur spy read lips....? ]

[not_onyourside]

[But of course.]

Mm. Zhere may be some fun gained een zhe finding, but I would razzer not have to expend zhe effort. Especailly on somezzing as foolish as what my teammates consider worzh hiding.

[lures]

How do you know it's foolish in the first place? You don't even know it.

[not_onyourside]

[Curse your logic!]

Because I know zhem. And zhey are foolish, and zhat makes what zhey consider secret also foolish.

[did_well_enough]

No one?

That is quite the bold statement. I wonder how accurate it is.

[not_onyourside]

Not for very long at least. Do you doubt me?

Is it alright if she is human GLaDOS?

[did_well_enough]

I said no such thing. Perhaps you are simply paranoid and doubt yourself?

Certainly! He'd be more comfortable NOT talking to a giant robot.

[not_onyourside]

Now zhat ees not what I said eizzer. Perhaps you are not listening.

Sounds good! We all know how creepy a giant robot can be.

[did_well_enough]

Negative, my sensors are working at 100%.

It is literally physically impossible for me to not hear you. Unless I ignored you.

[not_onyourside]

What sensors? What are you talking about?

[prpl_assistant]

There are reasons why they are secret. Though I do apologize if I came off as rude the other day. I was...not having a good day.

[not_onyourside]

Everyone here ees mean to me.

[Pout.]

[prpl_assistant]

I don't think anyone means it.

[not_onyourside]

Hmf.

Zhere ees a conspiracy going on, and I am going to find out what eet ees.

[prpl_assistant]

You could just ask your mundane.

[puppyknowsbest]

SHOVE A PLUGGED IN BLENDER OVER YOUR FACE

NO REGRETS

[not_onyourside]

...