Unhappy Spy is a dangerous Spy.

[not_onyourside]

I do not like zhis place anymore. Take me back to zhe ozzer one. Zhat was better. Everyone here ees cranky and irritable.

And zhey keep secrets from me. No one keeps secrets from me.

No one.

Comments

[hasstandards]

No. I'll do it.

Come on.

[Leading the way to his camper now.]

[not_onyourside]

So eef you knit, why do I never see you wez knitted zhings?

[hasstandards]

You have. I wear those gloves in the winter.

[You know, the ones he claimed his mother made.]

[not_onyourside]

You made zhose gloves?

[He even knows which ones Sniper is talking about. Someone pays far too much attention to what his teammates wear.]

Zhat seems complicated.

[hasstandards]

Well, we'll start with somethin' easy. Tea cozies or pot holders. Or a scarf. You like scarves, don't you?

[not_onyourside]

I do like scarves.

[Why he wears them in the middle of the desert is a mystery.]

Are you secreting away yarn somewhere een here?

[hasstandards]

No.

[Maybe. He opens the door to his camper and holds it for Spy.]

[not_onyourside]

[He rolls his eyes at how cagey Sniper is being, but climbs into the camper, his eyes darting around. This place could be improved by a shelf there, maybe a nightstand, a small mirror.....]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper closes the door behind him. No, he doesn't want anyone coming in and seeing all the knitting they're going to be doing. Or the fact that they're hanging out at all. In fact, nothing about that situation would be good for the rest of the team to see.

He opens the crate he uses as a nightstand/spare table/chair and retrieves some needles and yarn, handing Spy a pair.]

[not_onyourside]

[Spy takes the needles, running his finger along one of them, his first thought being how good they would be for stabbing people with.]

Why are zhey sharp?

[hasstandards]

So they go through the loops a bit easier. Don't you think about stabbin' someone with one of those.

[He hands Spy a ball of cranberry-colored wool yarn.]

[not_onyourside]

But eet would be perfect!

[Pulling off his gloves he takes the yarn, rubbing it between his fingers.]

Soft.

[hasstandards]

Lamb.

[He gets a second set for himself and some yellow yarn sitting in a basket. Closing the crate, he has a seat in his chair, putting the basket on the floor.]

Just have a seat where ya like, and we'll get started.

[not_onyourside]

[Without anywhere else to sit Spy perches on the edge of Sniper's bed, the ball of yarn and needles in his lap as he partially rolls up his sleeves.]

I am glad to know you have hobbies ozzer zhan hunting.

[hasstandards]

Yeah, well don't go talkin' about this one. The Demoman at Teufort found out and I never lived it down.

[He gets the yarn around the first needle and starts putting loops on easily. Clearly, he's never taught anyone to do this.]

[not_onyourside]

Why would zhe Demoman care what you did wez your time?

[Spy stares pulling out the end of the yarn and then looking between his needle and Sniper's, trying to figure out how he did that.]

[hasstandards]

He didn't until he found out I had a "woman's hobby."

[He rolls his eyes at the remark, catching sight of Spy's confusion. He unwinds the yarn from the needle and starts again, much slower this time.]

[not_onyourside]

Why ees zhe rest of zhe world so obsessed wez 'gender roles.' Do whatever makes you happy.

[His eyes flick between his yarn and needles and Sniper's, following along. This is much harder than expected. His first attempt results in him tying the yarn in a knot. After he sorts that out he manages to get a loop on his needle. He grins, one loop down, a billion to go for a scarf.]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper continues, keeping his pace much slower than he's used to, making sure Spy is keeping up. When he gets as many loops on the needle as he wants, he starts back the other way.]

It was one benefit of transferring here. No one knew I did this. S'just somethin' to keep my hands busy is all. There's only so much work I can do on my guns.

[not_onyourside]

[He snorted, concentrating on getting the loops to slide from one needle to the other.]

I really do not understand how zhe rest of zhe base zhinks about zhings.

[hasstandards]

Well if we're gonna be fair about it, I'm the only bloke I know who knits. I grew up with sheep, though. Makin' yarn's not so bad when you've got the source right there.

[not_onyourside]

[Spy is busy untangling his yarn as he flips it around to go back the other way.]

You made zhis yarn?

[He's actually impressed.]

[hasstandards]

Mum made this. Wanted me to make somethin' to keep me warm. I don't think she knows how hot it gets out here.

[His expression softens as he continues knitting, his mind wandering.]

[not_onyourside]

[He smiles softly down at his yarn.]

Zhat ees ever so sweet of her. To zhink of you so.

[He has one entire row of little loops. He has no idea what this is supposed to look like, but it doesn't look terrible so he must be doing it right.]

[hasstandards]

[Sniper pauses, nodding approvingly as he makes another turn. He's already got a few inches on his knitting.]

She worries. Isn't all that happy I'm so far away and all.