Unhappy Spy is a dangerous Spy.

[not_onyourside]

I do not like zhis place anymore. Take me back to zhe ozzer one. Zhat was better. Everyone here ees cranky and irritable.

And zhey keep secrets from me. No one keeps secrets from me.

No one.

Comments

[not_onyourside]

[Spy retrieves the skinning knife from where he dropped it when he pulled the revolver out.]

Have I ruined eet by stabbbing eet? Eet looks like a tiny bear.

[hasstandards]

Nah, the skin'll be fine. Usually ya don't want a hole in the hide, but this'll do nicely for practice.

[He picks up the badger, blood running from the wound in its back to its head, dripping off its nose.]

We'll head back, unless ya want to do it out here.

[not_onyourside]

[Spy eyes the badger, now a bloody mess.]

At zhe base would be better.

[And less likely to get blood all over his suit.]

[hasstandards]

Right. We're likely in that cat's land. Wouldn't want to wear out our welcome.

[not_onyourside]

Would eet be mad zhat we stole somezzing for eet to eat?

[Because animals think like that.]

[hasstandards]

Not likely. If we're around its home, it ain't gonna want us here, though. Cougars get real defensive like that.

[not_onyourside]

Cougars? Zhe -- car?

[Oh so confused.]

Good, let us leave. I am getting dust all over my shoes.

[hasstandards]

The cat. Cougars. Mountain lions. Pumas.

[Regardless of the name, he nods and starts heading back, still watching over his shoulders at the rocks looming over them.]

[not_onyourside]

Oh! Oh I see.

[Spy nervously glances around. TIGERS. TIGERS EVERYWHERE.]

And zhen I will skin eet and you will do somezzing wez zhe pelt.

[hasstandards]

Not so loud, mate.

[Still looking very cautious, despite all the gun fire moments before.]

You could do something with it. Make a little bed for that rabbit of yours.

[not_onyourside]

[Immediate whisper.]

I zhink she would shy from zhe smell of blood.

[hasstandards]

S'not like ya put it in there still coated in blood, you know.

[not_onyourside]

We shall see.

[The more he loks at this, the cuter it gets.]

Why did eet attack us?

[hasstandards]

Probably for the same reason a big cat might if one finds us. We got too close to its home. Badgers are real temperamental from what I've heard.

[not_onyourside]

Eet has long claws.

[Something suddenly occurs to him.]

Did eet bite you?

[hasstandards]

Tried. Didn't get through the boot, though. These shoes aren't just for show, you know.

[not_onyourside]

I knew zhis was a bad idea.

[WHY IS THE BASE SO FAR AWAY.]

[hasstandards]

[He snorts, looking over his shoulder at Spy.]

What? I'm not hurt.

[His eyes flick over Spy's shoulder as he thinks he sees something. Or maybe he's just being paranoid now.]

[not_onyourside]

[Stop that, you're making Spy twitchy.]

A striped raccoon of deazh just tried to eat us.

[hasstandards]

He wasn't tryin' to eat us. He was defendin' his home, most likely. Really, thinkin' somethin' this size would even try to eat us...

[not_onyourside]

You act like I should know zhis, I have never been hunting before. Remember? Collected clams? Zhe extent of my hunting knowledge.

[hasstandards]

Well, wouldn't you do the same if someone came bargin' into your space?

[not_onyourside]

Well -- oui, I would.

Now I feel bad, we have disturbed his home. Or her home. She may have little ones she was protecting.

[Sad again.]

[hasstandards]

Ya can't think of that when you're gettin' attacked, you know. It's important that ya leave some beasts be, but if it comes to survival, ya gotta live.

[not_onyourside]

Oui, zhat ees true.

[Back to the base, finally. And they weren't killed by tigers. This is a good day!]

So tell me what I need to do.