Upon looking at heyfreemagic

[hasstandards]

Magic? Bloody magic.

No. Absolutely not.

Comments

oh god I wish I remembered any of my old tf2 journals

[imlapislazuli]

What's wrong with magic?

And here I am wishing I had some SU journals to futz around with. :<

[hasstandards]

A professional assassin like me doesn't need it, for starters. Just one more thing to worry about. Leave it to the bloody magicians.

[ex_haveaplan64]

You realize that th' more you object, th' more inclined they are t' send you galavanting about th' place, right?

Besoides, that place is 'ardly one 'f the bad ones, comparatively speaking.

[hasstandards]

They're all bad, mate. All of 'em.

[ex_haveaplan64]

Th' worst part 'f most 'f them is that we're not allowed t' do our jobs there.

(Priorities, Sniper has them.)

And at least it's not one 'f those "get shagged or doi" places.

[hasstandards]

One of those what?

[ex_haveaplan64]

Wot I said. These muns are obsessed with seeing us do th' nasty with, well, everything that moves, it seems.

Moine, for example, keep saying someday she's going t' arrange for a RED team orgy, and I'm pretty sure she isn't joking.

[hasstandards]

... Er.

[Yep. That's an awkward pause following an awkward answer.]

Right. Guess my mundane could always be worse. I can't say she's ever done any of that.

[notjustinthemirror]

If it's free, you should take it.

[hasstandards]

I don't need it.

[notjustinthemirror]

But it's free. You really gonna turn down free shit?

[hasstandards]

If I don't need it and it's one less reason to deal with my mundane? Yeah.

[notjustinthemirror]

That's the kind of talk that encourages them.

Maybe you can get the magic ability to make people's heads explode and then you won't have to shoot them.

[hasstandards]

Where's the challenge in that?

[a_magicianinviteshimself]

You?

You cannot possibly fathom the eldrich horrors that accompany the study of magic! Nor can you possibly ever become a magician.

Unless you buy Merasmus' guaranteed guide to becoming a magician. I also offer seminars and classes. Please include $3.95 for postage and I'll send some information.

[hasstandards]

Bloody hell, not you again.

[a_magicianinviteshimself]

[Maniacal laughter goes here.]

Yes. Fear me mortal for it is I, the Mighty Merasmus who has graced you with his presence.

And my magical knowledge. I can lower the postage to $3 but no further! And then I need to sell [counting on his fingers] two thousand nine hundred and ninety nine more copies and I can pay back what I owe the Japanese Mafia.

[hasstandards]

I've seen the kind of hocus pocus you do. I'm not interested.

[a_magicianinviteshimself]

But you have friends who are? Other people at this game of yours?

Help Merasmus out, breaking my knees would be only the beginning of what's coming to me.

[hasstandards]

I could help you out for a price, mate. S'what I do.

[notintehkitchen]

[See icon, Pyro just stands there doing this. It's totally natural.]

[hasstandards]

[He's giving you this look, Pyro. THIS LOOK.]

[notintehkitchen]

[YOU JUST BE JEALOUS--of her talent she is not quite sure how she can even do.

SOMETIMES IT PAYS OFF TO BE A FREAK.]

[hasstandards]

[Just because you can do magic or whatever it is and he likes you doesn't me he likes it. He wants nothing to do with it, thank you.]

[notintehkitchen]

{Oh, c'mon now Snipes! It's only the tiniest little bit of magic. You've seen her taunt, too. That fireball can only go like two feet, sure it's totally weird she is capable of it but it's also not like very extraordinary.]