Upon looking at heyfreemagic

[hasstandards]

Magic? Bloody magic.

No. Absolutely not.

Comments

[hasstandards]

I am living life to the fullest. I've got a great job. Bloody good at it, too. Just because my parents and blokes like you don't get it doesn't mean I don't.

[notjustinthemirror]

[He'll get you eventually. It's just going to take more time than he has patience for.]

Aren't you a little old to care what your parents think?

[hasstandards]

[Good thing Sniper has learned some patience from having to deal with Scout.]

No. They're my parents.

[notjustinthemirror]

Humans are fucking weird.

[Guess he'll just have to pester Scout and your girlfriend and your bff and your rivals. Now it's a challenge. ]

[hasstandards]

[Good luck with that. BLU is just as tight-lipped, Spy can turn invisible, and Scout has his own host of insecurities for you to play with. Pyro, on the other hand, will... probably tell you everything you want to know, all the while squealing about how cute "Mr. Hawk" is.]

Says the bloke wearin' a mask.

[notjustinthemirror]

[Unfortunately Pyro will be his last resort as he is highly flammable. Er well, fortunately for RED, unfortunately for the Demon.]

I'm not wearing it, it's stuck to me. Just like all this other crap.

[He spreads his arms and gestures to his clothing.]

I didn't pick the outfit.

[hasstandards]

[Reason #42598 they go together well.]

I don't suppose it's practical for whatever it is you do. You even got a job?

[notjustinthemirror]

The gun is practical. For shooting people.

The idea was to make me look like someone else, who wears this. And doesn't look like I do under this.

[He taps the mask. Then pauses folding his arms.]

Or maybe I do. Fuck if I know, the mask doesn't come off.

And I don't need a job. I'm a demon.

[hasstandards]

Doesn't mean ya can't get a job. If a bloody talking sword can have a job, you can.

[notjustinthemirror]

And what the fuck would I do with money?

And I have better shit to be doing. I have to make sure Ethan doesn't get himself killed. Or drown in a puddle of vomit. Or fall off a building dead drunk. Or walk right into an Oro trap. Or some other moronic way he's going to try and die.

[He just happens to not be here, so the Demon is very, very bored.]

[hasstandards]

Sounds like it'd be easier to just let him. Survival of the fittest, mate.

[notjustinthemirror]

What do you suppose happens to someone's demon if that person dies?

[hasstandards]

I don't know. Can't say I know much about demons.

[notjustinthemirror]

I don't know what happens either. And I'm not going to find out.

[hasstandards]

So are you a pet of some sort? Or a figment of this bloke's imagination?

[notjustinthemirror]

A pet?

[He bristles. Better hold onto something because everything that's not nailed down rises up in cyclone around him before crashing to the ground in a flurry of wreckage and an explosion of static.

The Demon himself disappears and reappears behind Sniper. Better move fast or he's charging into RED to pin him to the wall with his arm.]

Do I seem like a pet?

[hasstandards]

[Well, that sudden cyclone and the following chaos may caught him off-guard, but he actually manages to move out of the way before the Demon pins him, having spun around the second he vanished. Good reflexes, considering how often he gets stabbed in the back at his workplace.

He backs up, on the defensive.]

Ya seem more like a bloody lunatic to me.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'll take that.

[ He manifests a baseball bat and pokes the tip of it against Sniper's chest. ]

Pretty real for someone who's a hallucination aren't I?

[hasstandards]

[Backing up another step.]

Real enough here. Maybe you're not back where you come from. This place is odd like that.

[notjustinthemirror]

I caused plenty trouble back home too, real or not.

[ He drops the bat with littls fanfare. It rolls a short distance before disappearing completely. ]

[hasstandards]

I thought you said you were tryin' to keep someone out of trouble.

[notjustinthemirror]

I didn't say he ever listened. Sometimes you have to prove a point the hard way.

[ By crashing planes into the middle of nowhere in the snow. ]

[hasstandards]

So you're keepin' someone out of trouble... by causing trouble.

[notjustinthemirror]

It certainly got his attention.

[hasstandards]

This bloke got a death wish?