dear_mun | Upon looking at heyfreemagic

Entry tags:

canon: team fortress 2

Upon looking at heyfreemagic

Magic? Bloody magic.

No. Absolutely not.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

er. Ehm.

The uh.. Eldrich depths of ....... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

[Soldier.]

And I suppose you can't magic him away, either.

No, worse luck. He took an entire bottle of my Kill Me Come Back Stronger™ pills.

Maybe you oughtta learn a useful trade, like snipin'. Take care of that bloke well before he even sees ya.

I don't need a trade. I'm a Wizard. It's a noble and well respected position.

Just not very practical when it comes to takin' care of your enemies.

It is admittedly more for offense than defense. But I will be on the offensive again soon enough! Once my carnival really gets going then you'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE.

If it's anything like the last one, I'll pass.

There is no passing in bumper cars. Only bumping. AND ALSO DEATH.

And ducks.

Which you will collect until you die. One duck is never enough!

[Okay. Even he isn't buying this.]

I may have gotten the bumper car track at a deep discount.

AS DEEP AS THE LOWEST LEVEL OF THE DARKEST HELL.

S'that why it's in such piss poor condition?

It is surprisingly hard to find maintenance people for a several thousand year old bumper car track.

And I'm short of cash as it is.

You could fix it yourself.

Me? Manual labor is beneath a wizard.

[Also have you seen his arms? Twigs lightly wrapped in skin.]

[Color him unsurprised.]

I'm guessin' you don't know how.

Oh and you are suddenly an expert in Sumarian bumper car technology?

It looked like regular wood to me.

Wood infused with the deaths of thousands of souls! And held together with nails forged with the blood of innocents! And tracks that ... eh, I don't actually know how they work but I'm sure it's evil beyond imagining!