couldn't resist. update talk.

[syncopator]

old mcdonald had a farm
e i e i o
and he bought that farm with two demon doggy swords to the gut
e i e i o

i mean lets be honest
as much as i bitched about wanting to avoid this exact thing
it was probably always going to happen
and isnt this how it works in every shitty movie about some heroic dude
his wife or his buddy or his dog dies or something
and thats what inspires him to go out and murder everyone
or in our case save a bunch of universes or something
we all know whose job that is
it was never going to be mine
im the sidekick
here for laughs and to tug at your heartstrings with his sad and noble sacrifice
who gets double stabbed by some dogs with wings and dies on top of his best friends corpse

man
this is pretty bullshit actually
but to be meta for a second here
will this even stick??
who the fuck knows anymore
shit got too real for me to handle
strider out

Comments

[feathery]

old mcdonald
really dude

[syncopator]

is this how you speak to the dead dude
wheres your respect

[feathery]

i loaned it to aretha franklin for her appearance in the blues brothers sequel
but hey at least it took two omnipotent dog demons to take you down
god tier has its perks beyond the totally fucking useless immortality clause
might as well not have one at all

[nukeoleptic]

sorry you got stabbed because of me :(

[syncopator]

what
no
look the point here is what a dumbass i am
lets keep talking about me

[nukeoleptic]

you are not a dumbass!!!
you were very brave and i am proud of you
i just wish it hadnt happened that way

[lethechained]

[Dave.

Dave.

Dave.

You are getting the most intense of Looks right now. There is so much frowning.]

[syncopator]

Uh.

Hey.

Sup.

[ Rrrrrrrubs the back of his neck. ]

[lethechained]

[See, there are so many parts of this she wants to Look at him for that she isn't even sure where to start. Decisions, decisions.]

I'm pretty sure, [It's actually very level. (Maybe too level.)] ... that if that wasn't heroic, you wouldn't have stayed dead.

Because it definitely wasn't just.

[gnostical]

you werent supposed to do that!!!!!
you were never supposed to die ever!!!!!!! >:(

[syncopator]

haha whoa
watch out jade thats looking like an egregious amount of shout poles there

[tongue3y3s]

OH MY GOD 1F 1 H4V3 TO H34R YOUR B1TCH1NG FOR ON3 MOR3 S3COND 1 4M GO1NG TO VOM1T BLOOD 4LL OV3R YOU >:[
WH1CH 1S 4 TH1NG 1 C4N DO NOW, PR41S3 J3GUS
4CTU4LLY 1M PR3TTY SUR3 4 F3W OF US COULD JUST G3T TOG3TH3R TO 4NNO1NT YOU W1TH C4SU4L D1SD41N V14 B1L3S4C 3XCR3T1ONS
THOUGH TH4T WOULD RU1N TH3 43STH3T1C OF MY T34L 4G41NST YOUR PR3TTY C4NDY R3D
1TS F1N3 1TS NOT L1K3 1 C4N 4PPR3C14T3 TH4T STUFF 4NYMOR3 OR 4NYTH1NG

[syncopator]

what
stfu what about this counts as bitching
im just recounting the facts as they happen
are you besmirching my honor as a reporter ms pyrope

[psych0p0mps]

im sure itll turn out all right :)
if it does stick though
you can always come hang out with me!

[syncopator]

yeah
guess i can
thanks aradia

[psych0p0mps]

anytime 0u0

[anachronologistics]

giving this rendition of old mcdonald 1 star out of 5
not enough cowbell

[syncopator]

you offering
cant say ive got an infinite supply of cowbell on hand

[anachronologistics]

sure ill just call up the cowbell depot and clean them out of their entire stock
then well make some magic happen
cowbells will become the new uggs
well be more famous than we already are
and peta will finally shut the hell up about the inhumanity of our fashion statements
children will sleep a little better at night
maybe there will be some sick parties
and when this bullshit doesnt stick youll be ready to get back in there and get some shit done

[heirbound]

wait. no. we can still fix this!
and for the record would you stop with the "oh my name is dave. i am not a hero" stuff?
everyone knows that is so not true.

[syncopator]

john
i dont know if you were paying attention
but i think i can safely say
that scientifically speaking
a whole assload of people just died
unless you want to swoop in and do your zappy windy thing
were pretty fucked
which btw
sounds like a heros journey to me

[accept_the_consequences]

Welcome to the dead Dave club. Population, a lot of really cool dudes and who the fuck knows maybe some girls.

Gotta say though you went a lot cooler than I did. In my universe it was Harley that looked like a badass at the end.

I don't understand this timeline bullshit. At all. I don't have any powers. I'm just some douche in a school uniform with a katana, but I've got a feeling this isn't going to stick. Something doesn't feel right. There's your John already doing shit he's not supposed to, but there's also that ring.

[syncopator]

Sweet. This is like my favorite club that I've ever been admitted to out of the dozens and dozens I am definitely already in.

[ Folds his arms and shrugs. ]

I don't know what the hell AU you're from, but trust me, the time powers are pretty fucking overrated. Wooftier grimbark girls try to manipulate you into using them and then just get killed leading to your own heroic as fuck death and then everyone's screwed. Anyway, I'd agree with you, because you're me and we're awesome as fuck, but I guess I'm feeling cynical after getting double stabbed and can't quite bring myself to invest in the Christmas miracle everyone else thinks is inevitable. What about the ring, anyway? Her Imperious Whothefuckever has it.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

i dunno
dude goes out of his way to save his friend
despite the fact their friend was brainwashed into evil
still gonna believe in that power of friendship and go save em
sounds totes hero to me

[syncopator]

yeah but that applies to jades kidgrandpa too
jake
he did the same shit
and died just as pointlessly