couldn't resist. update talk.

[syncopator]

old mcdonald had a farm
e i e i o
and he bought that farm with two demon doggy swords to the gut
e i e i o

i mean lets be honest
as much as i bitched about wanting to avoid this exact thing
it was probably always going to happen
and isnt this how it works in every shitty movie about some heroic dude
his wife or his buddy or his dog dies or something
and thats what inspires him to go out and murder everyone
or in our case save a bunch of universes or something
we all know whose job that is
it was never going to be mine
im the sidekick
here for laughs and to tug at your heartstrings with his sad and noble sacrifice
who gets double stabbed by some dogs with wings and dies on top of his best friends corpse

man
this is pretty bullshit actually
but to be meta for a second here
will this even stick??
who the fuck knows anymore
shit got too real for me to handle
strider out

Comments

[feathery]

old mcdonald
really dude

[nukeoleptic]

sorry you got stabbed because of me :(

[syncopator]

is this how you speak to the dead dude
wheres your respect

[syncopator]

what
no
look the point here is what a dumbass i am
lets keep talking about me

[nukeoleptic]

you are not a dumbass!!!
you were very brave and i am proud of you
i just wish it hadnt happened that way

[feathery]

i loaned it to aretha franklin for her appearance in the blues brothers sequel
but hey at least it took two omnipotent dog demons to take you down
god tier has its perks beyond the totally fucking useless immortality clause
might as well not have one at all

[lethechained]

[Dave.

Dave.

Dave.

You are getting the most intense of Looks right now. There is so much frowning.]

[gnostical]

you werent supposed to do that!!!!!
you were never supposed to die ever!!!!!!! >:(

[tongue3y3s]

OH MY GOD 1F 1 H4V3 TO H34R YOUR B1TCH1NG FOR ON3 MOR3 S3COND 1 4M GO1NG TO VOM1T BLOOD 4LL OV3R YOU >:[
WH1CH 1S 4 TH1NG 1 C4N DO NOW, PR41S3 J3GUS
4CTU4LLY 1M PR3TTY SUR3 4 F3W OF US COULD JUST G3T TOG3TH3R TO 4NNO1NT YOU W1TH C4SU4L D1SD41N V14 B1L3S4C 3XCR3T1ONS
THOUGH TH4T WOULD RU1N TH3 43STH3T1C OF MY T34L 4G41NST YOUR PR3TTY C4NDY R3D
1TS F1N3 1TS NOT L1K3 1 C4N 4PPR3C14T3 TH4T STUFF 4NYMOR3 OR 4NYTH1NG

[syncopator]

Uh.

Hey.

Sup.

[ Rrrrrrrubs the back of his neck. ]

[syncopator]

right
like im pretty sure the only dumbass who ever managed to successfully invoke that clause was john
because of course it was
the rest of us though
are just falling down all these heroic vaguely suicidal hail marys

[syncopator]

yeah
but i wouldnt take it back
janes dead now too so that route back to the world of the living just got screwed
who knows maybe therell be a miracle
or not

[lethechained]

[See, there are so many parts of this she wants to Look at him for that she isn't even sure where to start. Decisions, decisions.]

I'm pretty sure, [It's actually very level. (Maybe too level.)] ... that if that wasn't heroic, you wouldn't have stayed dead.

Because it definitely wasn't just.

[nukeoleptic]

there will be a miracle!!
there will definitely be a miracle D:
dont you remember that conversation that we never had??
john will retcon it
he will save the day





but that wont make you any less of a hero to me
just so we are clear here

[feathery]

and no one was surprised
or the only reason anyone was surprised is because youre supposed to have plot armor
remember youre hussies self insert and prized favorite
and it would just be irresponsible of him to leave a planet full of sprites and no players to guide

[syncopator]

haha whoa
watch out jade thats looking like an egregious amount of shout poles there

[psych0p0mps]

im sure itll turn out all right :)
if it does stick though
you can always come hang out with me!

[syncopator]

what
stfu what about this counts as bitching
im just recounting the facts as they happen
are you besmirching my honor as a reporter ms pyrope

[syncopator]

yeah
guess i can
thanks aradia

[anachronologistics]

giving this rendition of old mcdonald 1 star out of 5
not enough cowbell

[heirbound]

wait. no. we can still fix this!
and for the record would you stop with the "oh my name is dave. i am not a hero" stuff?
everyone knows that is so not true.

[syncopator]

you offering
cant say ive got an infinite supply of cowbell on hand

[syncopator]

john
i dont know if you were paying attention
but i think i can safely say
that scientifically speaking
a whole assload of people just died
unless you want to swoop in and do your zappy windy thing
were pretty fucked
which btw
sounds like a heros journey to me

[syncopator]

Namine...

[ He rubs his face. They may be canon versions of their alternate selves right now, but whatever. She's still important to him. ]

Look. That it was heroic was the stupid part. I got killed pointlessly and accomplished jack shit. Dave Strider, hero of dumbasses. That's me.

[syncopator]

he might
i mean we obviously know he can make people rewrite their unbelievably stupid conversations about what assholes they are
in which they discuss how much theyre not going to die a hero
and then proceed to do just that
wait
i think i got off track there
point is
if anyone can save us from ourselves
its john egbert
hero to us all



uh
thanks