couldn't resist. update talk.

[syncopator]

old mcdonald had a farm
e i e i o
and he bought that farm with two demon doggy swords to the gut
e i e i o

i mean lets be honest
as much as i bitched about wanting to avoid this exact thing
it was probably always going to happen
and isnt this how it works in every shitty movie about some heroic dude
his wife or his buddy or his dog dies or something
and thats what inspires him to go out and murder everyone
or in our case save a bunch of universes or something
we all know whose job that is
it was never going to be mine
im the sidekick
here for laughs and to tug at your heartstrings with his sad and noble sacrifice
who gets double stabbed by some dogs with wings and dies on top of his best friends corpse

man
this is pretty bullshit actually
but to be meta for a second here
will this even stick??
who the fuck knows anymore
shit got too real for me to handle
strider out

Comments

[syncopator]

is this how you speak to the dead dude
wheres your respect

[feathery]

i loaned it to aretha franklin for her appearance in the blues brothers sequel
but hey at least it took two omnipotent dog demons to take you down
god tier has its perks beyond the totally fucking useless immortality clause
might as well not have one at all

[syncopator]

right
like im pretty sure the only dumbass who ever managed to successfully invoke that clause was john
because of course it was
the rest of us though
are just falling down all these heroic vaguely suicidal hail marys

[feathery]

and no one was surprised
or the only reason anyone was surprised is because youre supposed to have plot armor
remember youre hussies self insert and prized favorite
and it would just be irresponsible of him to leave a planet full of sprites and no players to guide

[syncopator]

right
like what the fuck is up with that guy
is he feeling suicidal
does he need an intervention
considering he just killed off his swag as fuck fictional counterpart
or maybe he just wants to die a hero??
dream on hussie
dream on
anyway yeah that shits hella negligent
who would do such a thing to their fictional brainchildren
certainly not the same douchebag whod write all this shit in the first place
am i right

[feathery]

lets face it
were the fictional brainchildren of a complete and utter douche bag who cant even escape getting murdered by one of them
it makes it debatable how well he planned this whole thing
but i guess since hes already dead maybe he wanted to transform it into some kind of ongoing gag
or he was just digging the idea of a heroic death THAT much
i mean its not like im going to meet the criteria
like where even am i
oh on some other planet completely oblivious to lofafs shenanigans

[syncopator]

hahahaha
jesus christ
were so fucked
i think youre better off far away from the action dude
show up when dirk and john do and youll be fine
or you could be the feathery asshole to swoop in and save us all
usurp you some egbertian glory
show this webcomics legion of unruly teenage shitlords why striders are as disproportionately popular as they are

[feathery]

and as one a thousand fan girls crackpot theories came true
no that would be dumb
especially after i gave that dramatic monologue to johns prone form and flew away all useless like
like sure its the kind of thing thats just begging for a heroic rebuttal but that doesnt make the idea any less stupid
my feathered ass already had its moment to shine in that dating sim
i brought in the fandom by the payload with my miles of prepackaged orange tragedy

[syncopator]

hahahahaha
jesus shit thats right i completely forgot
howd dating a katamari go for you dude

[feathery]

hotter than lohacs lava and in higher demand than our boonies at the stock exchange
its not every day you get to shack up with space royalty
embarrassing though it may be especially when i had a censor in place
i wasnt allowed to swear once