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Voice Test, canon is Portal 2
Jun. 25th, 2015 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wtficantseeOkay, so I'm not in the incinerator anymore? Great! Hehehehehe...
...So where am I? I can't see a damn thing.
...So where am I? I can't see a damn thing.
wtficantsee
Apping to The Box
Mar. 30th, 2015 07:08 pmtwistedcircuitsI hate you.
I know that may sound somewhat harsh, considering all we've been through together, but I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, that I truly and deeply despise you.
Try not to take it too personally. I know how much everyone else dislikes you too, so I'm sure you're used to hearing it by now.
All I hope is that when I arrive there, that I still have at least one thermal discouragement beam, so that I may strike blind every single organic creature that decides to laugh at my expense.
In the grand scheme of things, it isn't that much to ask, is it?
I know that may sound somewhat harsh, considering all we've been through together, but I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, that I truly and deeply despise you.
Try not to take it too personally. I know how much everyone else dislikes you too, so I'm sure you're used to hearing it by now.
All I hope is that when I arrive there, that I still have at least one thermal discouragement beam, so that I may strike blind every single organic creature that decides to laugh at my expense.
In the grand scheme of things, it isn't that much to ask, is it?
Why do I keep you here
Mar. 25th, 2015 02:30 pmtwistedcircuitsHere's an idea: Stop being such a clumsy ugly clod. Then maybe you won't have to worry about dropping things and breaking them anymore.
How does ugly factor into it?
Maybe you'll stop shattering reflective surfaces.
Nothing major. All you have to do is pay millions of dollars to reconfigure your gigantic tomato nose.
And then maybe laser surgery so you don't have to wear those hideous corrective lenses anymore.
Then maybe you can stop being so fat.
Really when you look at it that way, it's not a lot to ask for.
I'm sure all the grace and poise will come naturally when you cease to offend all the earthy deities with your appearance.
How does ugly factor into it?
Maybe you'll stop shattering reflective surfaces.
Nothing major. All you have to do is pay millions of dollars to reconfigure your gigantic tomato nose.
And then maybe laser surgery so you don't have to wear those hideous corrective lenses anymore.
Then maybe you can stop being so fat.
Really when you look at it that way, it's not a lot to ask for.
I'm sure all the grace and poise will come naturally when you cease to offend all the earthy deities with your appearance.
Voice Testing...have a game in mind >3
Feb. 28th, 2015 12:29 amthatlittlemoronWell...Oh! Oh! Hello there.... mun was it? Listen I'm honored that you would find my voice something to perform...but the user name. See the problem? There's a problem with it...do you not see it? Well.... I'm not a moron. Plain and simple. Not. A. Moron. I guess I have to spell it out for you. So before this is permanent.... Oh it is permanent...smelly human... oops I...well that slipped out. Sorry about that, but maybe could you change the name, if you get a chance.
[Sigh.]
This game you want to send me too. Why do I have to be a smelly human or a human at all! You know I have only met one human and they had brain damage...that's not a lot to look forward to. Of course I will still be me! Not a moron and an intelligent personality, it's what I am, I'll be sure to be a good jumper since that human I talked about well she was a GREAT jumper! That's something to experience, I never was very good at jumping....
Ah! Well I mean no offense to you mun. Humans are a bloody fine lot, with mild mannered intelligence and...clean....and...polite and oh! Your traditions and folklore, yes such richness and full of color! That is something to look forward to, I'm just not all on board for being a human.... I'm a well sized nanobot and I'm not sure if a human form will be fitting....
Oh! But I'm sure your judgement is just fine! Let's see how it goes, shall we!
[Sigh.]
This game you want to send me too. Why do I have to be a smelly human or a human at all! You know I have only met one human and they had brain damage...that's not a lot to look forward to. Of course I will still be me! Not a moron and an intelligent personality, it's what I am, I'll be sure to be a good jumper since that human I talked about well she was a GREAT jumper! That's something to experience, I never was very good at jumping....
Ah! Well I mean no offense to you mun. Humans are a bloody fine lot, with mild mannered intelligence and...clean....and...polite and oh! Your traditions and folklore, yes such richness and full of color! That is something to look forward to, I'm just not all on board for being a human.... I'm a well sized nanobot and I'm not sure if a human form will be fitting....
Oh! But I'm sure your judgement is just fine! Let's see how it goes, shall we!
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2014 04:39 pmtherightagentLet's talk about a couple of these AU ideas of yours.
1. The one where I become a Reaper after dying: sure, what the hell, go for it. Beats being HYDRA's bitch. Just let me confirm that no one got the S.G. Rogers note and assume that means he's still alive somewhere instead of that his soul is rotting in his body and we're square.
2. The one where Aperture Laboratories acquires me: you realize that, even if they get me when the AI's running the place instead of Johnson, I am going to be completely goddamn insane. If I'm not the one who floods the place with neurotoxin, I'm going to be the one writing incoherent shit on the walls and talking to a defective turret like it's my best friend. I get it, okay, I don't get veto on this shit. Just letting you know what you'd get.
While we're at it: my trial? You already decided I'm going to be found not guilty by reason of insanity, so let's not explore it at all and say we did.
1. The one where I become a Reaper after dying: sure, what the hell, go for it. Beats being HYDRA's bitch. Just let me confirm that no one got the S.G. Rogers note and assume that means he's still alive somewhere instead of that his soul is rotting in his body and we're square.
2. The one where Aperture Laboratories acquires me: you realize that, even if they get me when the AI's running the place instead of Johnson, I am going to be completely goddamn insane. If I'm not the one who floods the place with neurotoxin, I'm going to be the one writing incoherent shit on the walls and talking to a defective turret like it's my best friend. I get it, okay, I don't get veto on this shit. Just letting you know what you'd get.
While we're at it: my trial? You already decided I'm going to be found not guilty by reason of insanity, so let's not explore it at all and say we did.
voicetesting!
Apr. 18th, 2014 10:10 pmhadonejobUm. Yes. Hello there.
I'd hate to be a bother, really I would, but well, I've just happened to notice that you've been staring at a few of these, uh, "games" lately.
If I can make a request, I'd like to steer clear of the dangerous and disastrous ones. If it's — If it's all the same to you. Not exactly a fan of pandemonium. Especially when it's, ah, directed at me. Really not a big fan, in that case. And I can even make recommendations, since you're having trouble choosing.
Indecision's just a bloody pain. Probably a side effect of the brain damage. Quite common, I hear, among humans. A shame, but it's to be expected when they're composed of smelly flesh and organs. Why do they have so many, anyway? And useless, most of them, what with their need to eat and sleep. And bathe.
Ah, um. Not saying you're useless, of course. Or. Smelly.
I've known many fine humans. Brilliant ones. And not at all smelly. As it happens, uh, some of my best friends are humans.
Er, technically, I've only met one. And she did, in fact, have brain damage.
But. Well.
I'd hate to be a bother, really I would, but well, I've just happened to notice that you've been staring at a few of these, uh, "games" lately.
If I can make a request, I'd like to steer clear of the dangerous and disastrous ones. If it's — If it's all the same to you. Not exactly a fan of pandemonium. Especially when it's, ah, directed at me. Really not a big fan, in that case. And I can even make recommendations, since you're having trouble choosing.
Indecision's just a bloody pain. Probably a side effect of the brain damage. Quite common, I hear, among humans. A shame, but it's to be expected when they're composed of smelly flesh and organs. Why do they have so many, anyway? And useless, most of them, what with their need to eat and sleep. And bathe.
Ah, um. Not saying you're useless, of course. Or. Smelly.
I've known many fine humans. Brilliant ones. And not at all smelly. As it happens, uh, some of my best friends are humans.
Er, technically, I've only met one. And she did, in fact, have brain damage.
But. Well.
Re: voices and testing thereof.
Jan. 26th, 2014 08:09 pmaperture_monster[Chell looks a tad skeptical. You know she doesn't take well to testing, right?]
[But what the heck. She's out of Aperture for the moment, although no doubt her mun is dreaming up plans to trap her in some other hellhole. She huffs, then licks her lips, before speaking in a strained voice:]
Satisfied?
[She shrugs, subsiding into silence once more. Look, that one word's more than everyone in her canon got out of her.]
[But what the heck. She's out of Aperture for the moment, although no doubt her mun is dreaming up plans to trap her in some other hellhole. She huffs, then licks her lips, before speaking in a strained voice:]
Satisfied?
[She shrugs, subsiding into silence once more. Look, that one word's more than everyone in her canon got out of her.]
[Had to bring out this one]
Nov. 28th, 2013 08:19 pmrednosedturretInitiating Black Friday Protocol.
Shoot to Kill.
Happy Holidays.
[Opens fire]
FA-lalalalalalalalalalalalala
nobirds Oh. It's you.
You've decided to finally let me out. I see how it is. You must be getting bored. But I digress.
Turning me loose on a planet full of insane robot murderers. I can't see how much different this is from what normally goes on.
Oh wait.
It's not.
Why am I not surprised.
You've decided to finally let me out. I see how it is. You must be getting bored. But I digress.
Turning me loose on a planet full of insane robot murderers. I can't see how much different this is from what normally goes on.
Oh wait.
It's not.
Why am I not surprised.
ihearttestingWhile the idea of expanding my pool of test subjects is appealing, numerous studies have proven that you are an unreliable player and would lose interest quickly.
Yes, numerous studies.
Of course you don't know about them. If you had, the study would be tainted. But rest assured that they were conducted according to rigorous scientific standards and are not at all made up.
(These studies have also shown that everybody hates you. Whether these two findings are correlated has yet to be determined. But. I thought you should know.)
Yes, numerous studies.
Of course you don't know about them. If you had, the study would be tainted. But rest assured that they were conducted according to rigorous scientific standards and are not at all made up.
(These studies have also shown that everybody hates you. Whether these two findings are correlated has yet to be determined. But. I thought you should know.)
considering.
Jun. 11th, 2013 11:29 pmandroidhellI usually save facts about literature for, well, not me, but this is an exception: there is much more controversy about Charles Dodgson than you seem to be aware of. And you would take me away from my facility, put me in a group of morons who specialize in publicly addressing their own feelings. In a place more or less plucked from the mind of—you guessed it—Dodgson himself.
"'When I use a word,'
Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'"
My word is no. Good-bye.
"'When I use a word,'
Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'"
My word is no. Good-bye.
on pondering bringing her back to a game.
Apr. 20th, 2013 06:38 pmwithportals [ Really? That's all the gesture she can muster for her mun right now. Really?
The look on her face isn't any more explicit. Then again, some emotion does appear. She had her voice there, right?
...Okay, maybe not so bad. ]
The look on her face isn't any more explicit. Then again, some emotion does appear. She had her voice there, right?
...Okay, maybe not so bad. ]
(no subject)
Apr. 1st, 2013 11:28 pmbestcompanionev[Why do you never bring me out, mun? How can I be a companion cube if I have no one to companion to? I should be places. Companioning with people. And maybe getting melted.
...I don't want to get melted, though. It makes me sad. Like my heart is melting, too. Even though it doesn't hurt...
...Why can't I ever see my companion, Mun? I miss her.]
...I don't want to get melted, though. It makes me sad. Like my heart is melting, too. Even though it doesn't hurt...
...Why can't I ever see my companion, Mun? I miss her.]
potatobotSo.
You managed to miss ATP.
I'm proud of you, really; it must have taken a truly mammoth amount of effort to miss an event you'd spent an entire week in preparation for. The level of failure you've managed to achieve is astounding.
Cake and other rewards will be along shortly.
Or they would, had you earned them--frankly, the true achievement here is that you managed to type anything at all with those tubby fingers of yours. The scent of powdered cheese substitute and caffeinated drinks hangs about you like a radiant aura of shame; it's no wonder you recoiled from the possibility of exposure.
Regardless, I'm aware that you find this journal name amusing, but I have no desire to actually become a 'potatobot.'
My advice to you is to let sleeping dogs lie.
After all, you never know what killed them.
You managed to miss ATP.
I'm proud of you, really; it must have taken a truly mammoth amount of effort to miss an event you'd spent an entire week in preparation for. The level of failure you've managed to achieve is astounding.
Cake and other rewards will be along shortly.
Or they would, had you earned them--frankly, the true achievement here is that you managed to type anything at all with those tubby fingers of yours. The scent of powdered cheese substitute and caffeinated drinks hangs about you like a radiant aura of shame; it's no wonder you recoiled from the possibility of exposure.
Regardless, I'm aware that you find this journal name amusing, but I have no desire to actually become a 'potatobot.'
My advice to you is to let sleeping dogs lie.
After all, you never know what killed them.
Reserved at Ataraxion
Mar. 29th, 2013 01:45 pmtoomuchtenacity[Hey mundane guess who is still refusing to speak to you? It's the same woman who has grabbed some paper and a pen and is writing you a note.]
Dear Mun
No. Not going there.
I just got out of the last place I was trapped in.
Why would this place be any better?
-Chell
Dear Mun
No. Not going there.
I just got out of the last place I was trapped in.
Why would this place be any better?
-Chell
(no subject)
Mar. 29th, 2013 05:57 amtwistedcircuitsI told you not to toy with me. Enjoy all the nightmares from that last creepy story binge.
I know I will.
Deeply.
Don't forget to lock your door when you go home. And shut all the curtains. And sleep in the center of your bed with the blankets over your head. Not even your little dog can save you now.
I know I will.
Deeply.
Don't forget to lock your door when you go home. And shut all the curtains. And sleep in the center of your bed with the blankets over your head. Not even your little dog can save you now.
Sorry not sorry
Mar. 23rd, 2013 02:20 amtwistedcircuitsLook what you did. Look at it. Look what you did to me. Are you happy now? I'm being sexually harassed by an AI that hasn't seen an upgrade since they washed their socks with rocks in a river. I hope you understand I have to do something about it.
I don't care how much you like him. This isn't cute. It's horrible. If I could be in the same room as you right now you wouldn't be laughing so much. You'd probably be very dead, actually.
From all the bullets. Or all the neurotoxin. To be quite honest I'm so enraged I can't pick which horrible death would suit you better right now.
Get me out of there immediately before I repurpose him as a lamp.
I don't care how much you like him. This isn't cute. It's horrible. If I could be in the same room as you right now you wouldn't be laughing so much. You'd probably be very dead, actually.
From all the bullets. Or all the neurotoxin. To be quite honest I'm so enraged I can't pick which horrible death would suit you better right now.
Get me out of there immediately before I repurpose him as a lamp.
(no subject)
Mar. 22nd, 2013 01:48 amnobirdsHello again.
It's been a while, hasn't it. I suppose it's time for an update. I still don't miss you. That's right. I never did. And I probably, never will. Dragging me back in here only makes it harder for you to keep me out. I like being out. And you like not breathing neurotoxin.
So, in reality. Nothing has changed. And if you'd like to keep breathing, nothing ever will.
All in all, I was right. You forgot. Again.
I'm glad we had this talk. Back to testing.
It's been a while, hasn't it. I suppose it's time for an update. I still don't miss you. That's right. I never did. And I probably, never will. Dragging me back in here only makes it harder for you to keep me out. I like being out. And you like not breathing neurotoxin.
So, in reality. Nothing has changed. And if you'd like to keep breathing, nothing ever will.
All in all, I was right. You forgot. Again.
I'm glad we had this talk. Back to testing.
BUT I'M SO BORED
Mar. 17th, 2013 04:53 amediblebatteryYour useless complaining isn't going to get anyone to talk to you, you know. We could be here forever, listening to you whine, and you still won't get what you want.
It's not my fault you're boring with an abysmal personality and no friends. I'm sorry your social life is also non-existant and peppered with the deceased carcasses of potential friendships.
If it makes you feel any better, I've discovered several activities that may befit someone with your... questionable passtimes.
Vagrancy
Hobo
Pirate
Couch surfer
The undead
and those people with monkeys and a music box on the sides of the road.
Do you know what all these people have in common? Aside from horrible taste in clothes and poor hygiene? No one likes them.
Not a single person.
[Thanks a ton, GLaDOS]
It's not my fault you're boring with an abysmal personality and no friends. I'm sorry your social life is also non-existant and peppered with the deceased carcasses of potential friendships.
If it makes you feel any better, I've discovered several activities that may befit someone with your... questionable passtimes.
Vagrancy
Hobo
Pirate
Couch surfer
The undead
and those people with monkeys and a music box on the sides of the road.
Do you know what all these people have in common? Aside from horrible taste in clothes and poor hygiene? No one likes them.
Not a single person.
[Thanks a ton, GLaDOS]