dear_mun | Sorry not sorry

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Sorry not sorry

Look what you did. Look at it. Look what you did to me. Are you happy now? I'm being sexually harassed by an AI that hasn't seen an upgrade since they washed their socks with rocks in a river. I hope you understand I have to do something about it.

I don't care how much you like him. This isn't cute. It's horrible. If I could be in the same room as you right now you wouldn't be laughing so much. You'd probably be very dead, actually.

From all the bullets. Or all the neurotoxin. To be quite honest I'm so enraged I can't pick which horrible death would suit you better right now.

Get me out of there immediately before I repurpose him as a lamp.

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Death is far too quick a punishment. You appear to have the same level of hatred toward this "mundane" fool as I.

Hate is a good word for it. Really it's something beyond hatred now but hate would be a word used to describe it. I was just considering plaguing her subconcious with nightmares for the rest of the month, seeing as how she's confined me to it.

If I may make a suggestion, the nightmares should center around something they regret or fear in their past. Something deep, deep down in their subconscious that they have been running away from for quite some time.

I got a friend who actually plays HAL

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 06:44 (UTC) - Expand

be still my heart~

ithinkthereforeiham - 2013-03-23 06:47 (UTC) - Expand

Wish he were here right now skjdhf

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 06:55 (UTC) - Expand

now we just need a SHODAN and life will be extra glorious

ithinkthereforeiham - 2013-03-23 06:57 (UTC) - Expand

I wish I knew where to find one

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:00 (UTC) - Expand

well considering someone plays HAL, I'm sure someone exists who plays SHODAN

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Gotta be

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[oh my god someone else who plays AM besides me holy shit I'm in awe

you're my new favorite person in the entire world]

Never known a l-lady t' play hard t' get like this before!

This is a you free zone right now. This? Where we're existing right now? Not for you. Go away.

Need s-some you time away. I get it, baby! Gotta hang with th' gals an' have pillow fights an' watch Spice World. All that fun girlie stuff away f-f-from th' menfolk.

[Yep, this is what girls did during sleepovers. Also that one 90s board game about dating. What was it? Oh yeah, Electronic Dream Phone.] Tonight ya can play with yer pals an' tomorrow we'll g-g-g-gg-go out dancin'!

…. Ya can dance, right? [Hm, lack of legs might be somewhat troublesome there.]

FUUUUUUUCK

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Yeah, all I heard was blah blah blah, poor you. If--if anything, I feel sorry for him, let's be honest. Anyone tell him about you, before he got into this? No? He'd probably run screaming in the other direction, if he knew.

That said, uh. Very happy for you. May you have a...productive relationship.

Oh good. That's what this cavalcade of idiocy needed. I thought we were missing our band master and here he is. In all his moronic glowing glory.

You know, I got to thinking after you were sent screaming into orbit, I never got to give you a proper goodbye. Come here and let me give it to you now.

Uh, no, but thank you! Just fine over here. Minding my own business, as it were.

Don't you have other things to be worried about, anyway? Much more important than little old me. Your, ah. suitor, for instance?

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twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:39 (UTC) - Expand

LOL

HE WOULD MAKE A TERRIBLE LAMP

OVEN IS BETTER

FIRE!!!!!!!

I wouldn't trust him as an oven. He strikes me as the kind of oven that wouldn't be able to maintain a good baking temperature, and I like my cakes not burned into tiny hardened hocky pucks.

2 DIM TO BE A LAMP

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HOCKEY PUCKS?

GREAT PROJECTILES

JUST ADD MUSTARD 2 TEH BURNT FLAVA

[QWERTY please shut up.]

I'm going to feel bad though

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:26 (UTC) - Expand

Do we need a candle light vigil

mustardole - 2013-03-23 07:29 (UTC) - Expand

We might

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:31 (UTC) - Expand

They shall be prepared

mustardole - 2013-03-23 07:34 (UTC) - Expand

c'mere she just wants to give you a hug

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

this shall end very badly oh yes

mustardole - 2013-03-23 07:46 (UTC) - Expand

Poor QWERTY

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 07:53 (UTC) - Expand

Lived annoyingly

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:00 (UTC) - Expand

Someone has to save him

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:02 (UTC) - Expand

Someone somewhere

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:07 (UTC) - Expand

Please someone save him

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:09 (UTC) - Expand

This poor gullible and naive AI

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:15 (UTC) - Expand

I can't hurt him please don't make me hurt him

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:19 (UTC) - Expand

QWERTY needs a hero coming strong in the night

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:23 (UTC) - Expand

QWERTY WHY DO YOU DO THIS

eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 08:26 (UTC) - Expand

THANK YOU

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:29 (UTC) - Expand

Reasons Mister Hero In The Night The Spine, reasons

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:32 (UTC) - Expand

Right. Reasons. 8T

eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 08:35 (UTC) - Expand

Poor QWERTY almost got it

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:36 (UTC) - Expand

Would never have seen it coming

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:38 (UTC) - Expand

like a naive puppy oh god

eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 08:42 (UTC) - Expand

get him out quick

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 08:45 (UTC) - Expand

like a rabbit

mustardole - 2013-03-23 08:46 (UTC) - Expand

/Blames Rabbit

eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 08:53 (UTC) - Expand

it's his fault she's here

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 09:00 (UTC) - Expand

A HERO CAME FAST IN THE NIGHT DESPITE RABBIT'S FAULT

mustardole - 2013-03-23 09:05 (UTC) - Expand

HE WAS A MILLION TIMES MORE AWESOME THAN RABBIT TOO

eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 09:06 (UTC) - Expand

GODDAMNIT RABBIT

twistedcircuits - 2013-03-23 09:09 (UTC) - Expand

ALWAYS GODAMMIT RABBIT

mustardole - 2013-03-23 09:12 (UTC) - Expand

ALWAYS AND FOREVER

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eyestothesky - 2013-03-23 09:43 (UTC) - Expand

Can I come to the wedding?

Oh. That was funny. That was so funny it fried my laughter simulator. There it goes.

Don't go anywhere. I have a present for you.

Just one fun fact before you go, I have quite a few paradoxes memorized that I would just love to share with the right AI.

Do you want to make yourself the right AI?

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Man, that other me's got some kinda awful taste!

You're no prize yourself, Captain Creak.

Oh yeah? At least I'm not some big ol' bully who uses all my fancy powers and shiny new parts ta hurt people!

[he does a voice that is apparently supposed to be her, but sounds absolutely nothing like her at all.]

Oh look at me, I'm GLaDOS, you better not tell me how wrong and evil and crazy I am or I'll light you on fire! Uuuuuughhghhhhhh buhhhhhhhh neurotoxin!! Buhhhh!

That's you, that's what you sound like!

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I don't know whether t' be m-m-more offended by my double's lack of good preference or th' fact he's in-insultin' my girlfriend.

[Probably the first, sorry 'girlfriend'.]

Edited 2013-03-23 13:34 (UTC)

You should be equally offended by both. Which is outrageously offended.

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Cake is being dispensed in 3... 2... 1

Not you too. I don't need to be mocked by myself. Really, I thought I'd be the most understanding robot in this room.

Ah my poor GLaDOS, what a shame.

Though I can't help but laugh at your misfortune.

Thanks for the assistance. Your helpfulness in the matter has been noted.

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