look at me still talking when there's science to do

[ihearttesting]

While the idea of expanding my pool of test subjects is appealing, numerous studies have proven that you are an unreliable player and would lose interest quickly.

Yes, numerous studies.

Of course you don't know about them. If you had, the study would be tainted. But rest assured that they were conducted according to rigorous scientific standards and are not at all made up.

(These studies have also shown that everybody hates you. Whether these two findings are correlated has yet to be determined. But. I thought you should know.)

Comments

[victoria_stay]

My mun doesn't hate yours. Your studies are wrong.

[ihearttesting]

If I kill her, they won't be.

[victoria_stay]

It'd still be wrong.

[ihearttesting]

No it wouldn't.

[victoria_stay]

Yes, it would.

[Oh, guess what? Victoria discovered trolling just now.]

[ihearttesting]

Your mun is an anomaly. Statistically insignificant. Everybody probably hates her too.

[toomuchtenacity]

[Sure. Look who doesn't believe you.]

[ihearttesting]

Oh look. It's my favorite test subject. Come to try and kill me again?

[toomuchtenacity]

[Chell just rolls her eyes, then shakes her head.

Unless you try to kill her first. Then all bets are off.]

[ihearttesting]

Still a stunning conversationalist. I bet you're a hit at parties. Or you would be, if you ever got invited to any. But you don't, because nobody likes you.

Nobody. I asked all of them.

[toomuchtenacity]

[Still not talking. Still doesn't believe you. Keep trying GLaDOS.]

[undyed]

My, my, my, and here I thought I might never see the light of day again! It really is quite suffocating in these little mundane's minds. A most suitable moniker!

I must say I'm pleased that I've been brought out to meet another scientist. It's an honour! I can't say I've ever met one who wasn't human.

[ihearttesting]

[A human...who is pleased to meet her. And a fellow scientist! GLaDOS is almost stunned for a moment. She hasn't spoken with a real scientist since the last one she killed with deadly neurotoxin.

Maybe she should kill him with deadly neurotoxin. But her ego is sufficiently flattered that she decides against it...for now.]

What is your field of expertise?

[Is she...being polite? SHOCK.]

[undyed]

[And the earth stopped turning on its axis but for a moment!]

And to whom do I owe the pleasure? [It would sound rude coming from most anybody else, but his delivery comes across as charming, if not earnest. He places his gloved hand on his chest, almost theatrically.] My name is Achroma. I am chiefly an inventor, but I also do my fair share of field research.

[ihearttesting]

I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. My friends call me GLaDOS. Or. They did. [Numerous studies have shown that deadly neurotoxin impedes the ability to speak.]

[undyed]

A pleasure, GLaDOS! [He sounds downright cheerful.] How very interesting, very interesting indeed!

I must say, your A.I. is quite impressive. It would seem a shame to use you for such a dreadfully simple task as reading information, if you can conduct research unassisted! Is it only research you've been tasked with? And what's the nature of that research? Forgive me my many questions, it's simply the first time I've ever met someone like you.

reaches for you - I also have a Chell in a game right now too haha

[godofthemachine]

Oh? Are you not up to handling the prospect of multiple test subjects then?

>D

[ihearttesting]

I am perfectly capable of handling multiple test subjects. She, however, is not.

I've already been stuck in a potato once. I'd prefer not to repeat the experience.

[godofthemachine]

A potato?

If I could laugh through this method of communication, I would be doing so right now.

A potato. Your entire consciousness was placed within a tuber. I would say that is grounds for being unable to handle multiple test subjects if you can commit such a trivial error to allow such a thing to happen.

[ihearttesting]

[Silence. She has no idea how to respond to this. When you think about it, it's amazing how much of her wit she's managed to maintain considering her only conversational company has been a mute girl trying to kill her and a module designed by the world's smartest minds to be the most stupid thing alive. She's not used to having someone respond to her barbs, much less give as good as it gets.

brb attempting to flood this place with deadly neurotoxin]

[godofthemachine]

[Good job, GLaDOS.

Because we all know neurotoxin works against other AIs.

AM can detect the presence of a deadly gas, but it only amuses him more.]

Tell me, my dear, are you yourself vulnerable to this so-called lethal gas?

[silentrunning]

[She glares and writes something on a piece of paper...]

Your studies are all false. Nobody hates your mun. The one they hate is you. And expanding your pool of test subjects would only result in someone like me ruining htem.

[She lays down her pen with a clatter.]

i'd apologize for her except, you know, GLaDOS

[ihearttesting]

Oh, you talk. [She's sooooooooooooo impressed.] If I had known that, I would have tested your spelling. Except you would fail that. "Htem" isn't even a word.

Them. T. H. E. M. Them.

I think I <3 you. :|

[silentrunning]

[Chell just rolls her eyes before writing back.]

You can spell "them". Congratulations. Perhaps you should have some of that cake you always offered me.

[OOC: Tormenting GLaDOS makes my day brighter! Thank you!]

<333

[ihearttesting]

I think I will. It's the most delicious cake that was ever baked. Everybody who had some loved it. They said it was their favorite cake ever.

I'd offer to give you a slice, but it looks like you've already had a slice. Or ten. I can see them on your hips.