you only THINK you know me

[abetterweb]

I think we both know why you can't find a suitable place for me.

Because you know what I'll do when I'm in.~


Oh, it will be grand, I assure you. I'll be running the show within a week - the poor, stupid brutes dancing upon command. Dare I even say, they'll be fawning over me, their rightful, glorious hero and savior.


...

Fine then. A compromise. Set me free, and I'll leave the unwashed masses alone. Despite how much better I could make their silly little lives, I promise to stay out of sight and simply resolve whatever trivial matter that plagues their world. Let it never be said that I cannot make concessions.

Comments

[arach_nerd]

It's probably more likely that you're not going anywhere because of the chance that you'll run into someone from our world who isn't holding the idiot ball and they'll figure out you're not me in five seconds.

[abetterweb]

Parker? Ahhh, yes, all these multiple realities bumping into one another. Charming.

We've had this discussion, boy. You had your chance - I am the better man. Perhaps our friends (the ones holding the 'idiot ball', was it?) have not questioned things because they simply like me better.

[arach_nerd]

...if you actually believe that they like you more than me, you're even more delusional than usual.

Let's not forget Reed, Sue, Ben, and Johnny aren't around. I can come up with plausible reasons for pretty much everyone else not figuring it out before now, but if they were back home your act would completely implode.

[abetterweb]

Spare me - Reed Richards is one of the few men, alive or dead, that I have even a modicum of respect for, but even he would never discern the truth, much less the others.

Once again, the lack of proper respect stemming from the community of 'heroes' works to my advantage. The situation of my switching minds with you is so implausible to them that they will never even pause to consider that Doctor Octopus would have pulled off such a stunning victory. I suppose, to be fair, my weak old self had its share of bad habits, but my genius cannot be denied.

To them, this is just a strange new attitude. They'll simply come to accept it to the best.

[arach_nerd]

Admittedly, my relationship with the rest of the community has been kinda chaotic over the years, but not with them. I've known them for years. They're in on the secret. When everyone thought Johnny was dead, his will gave me his spot on the team. I play poker with Ben. Reed and Sue trust me with their kids. Franklin and Valeria call me Uncle Peter.

I might not have a great relationship with everyone else, but those four are family to me just as much as Aunt May is. And unlike Aunt May, they know everything about my life. How long do you think your acting skills will last against them?

Also, if I had to guess? Reed won't be the one who figures it out. Valeria will.

[abetterweb]

You addled little fool. Bringing up May was the worst mistake you could have made.

This dear, sweet, saint of a woman has never been prouder of or happier with 'Peter Parker' since I took control of this body - this life. I've seen your memories, boy, so I know how often you let her down and took her for granted. You let yourself get distracted far too easily with trivial matters. You missed dinners, birthdays, special events. How many times did you forget simple things like picking her up from physical therapy? After you allowed her to take a bullet meant for you?

I can make time to fight the criminal element AND be there for her. I never had a nurturing family growing up, Parker, so I will be damned if I let one like this go to waste.

[arach_nerd]

Says the guy who was partly responsible for her nearly dying, Mr. I'm Going To Steal An Experimental Medication And I Don't Care If Anyone Actually Needs It. I know I the blood transfusion wasn't a great plan, but I fixed it, whereas you just made things worse.

And I'm from an alternate reality. Made it to my wedding about the same time MJ did. Aunt May knows the secret, and I've done my best to make up for my earlier screwups. Also, I'm not stupid enough to reveal my identity on national TV no matter what Tony tells me.

[abetterweb]

Regardless of what reality you come from, if you can recognize that you've compiled this mountain of mistakes, then you should be the first to realize the good that I'm doing now. If you don't get in my way, perhaps I can set right this comedy of errors you've called a life.

[arach_nerd]

Yeah, I don't think Jester and Screwball would really agree with you on that.

[firegodrockstar]

[SCOFF!]

Honestly. No respect for the guy who's done the most with you out of them all? C'mon, Pete, Valeria's got the brains but I'm the one who knows you.

[abetterweb]

Stay OUT of this, you flammable fool.

[firegodrockstar]

And then there's you, you mindsucking jackass. Honestly, do you think we don't see this all the damn time? Doc Doom does that trick with a wave of his hand, I married a Skrull infiltrator, and the back thing is just WAY too obvious.

[That said, he'd suspected something similar from Spidey when Iron Man gave him a similar suit in the Civil War, but the blatant fanboy worship of Captain America just proved too damn Peter.

Also, he's suddenly tossing a fireball up and down.] Thing is, Pete's the kind of friend who's fun to roughhouse with... so I got no problem with getting his body back in 'less than mint' condition.

[arach_nerd]

Let's be honest. You knew me both in and out of costume for years and failed so many perception checks that I had to come out and just tell you the big secret. I'm not saying you wouldn't figure it out, I'm just saying Valeria would first.

[firegodrockstar]

Perception checks? Man, with geek lingo like that you sure I didn't just stop paying attention every time you started talking?

[Besides, he did a good job de-Mephistizing your surprise identity-hiding, didn't he?]

[mordantwit]

Modesty is always so refreshing.

[abetterweb]

I haven't the time to waste with modesty. There is far too much to accomplish, and with so few other suitable candidates, those burdens fall on me.

Now be a good lad and lay back down in your grave.

[mordantwit]

I could say the same to you.

[abetterweb]

I haven't the faintest what you mean. Are you implying that I, Spider-Man, am dead? Whatever far reach of reality you hail from, sir, you must have me confused with someone else.

[mordantwit]

Fortunately, Spider-Man, death had little effect on my telepathic abilities.

[abetterweb]

...yes, I suppose you would be one of the very few capable of penetrating my mental defenses. But when does Professor Charles Xavier poke around in the minds of others with such wanton disregard of their privacy? How shocking.

Yet there rests the line in the sand, the stark difference between you and I. Faced with death, I found a way to overcome, then became stronger and better for it. I am making a difference in the world now.

And you? You were obliterated. Not by a respected foe or rival, but by one of your own students. Your death has polarized your people - now they fight each other over an interpretation of your legacy. Had you been a better leader - a better man - there would be no doubting what you would have wanted.

[mordantwit]

[SHRUG. His ethics on the subject have become rather lax since he was shot in the head.]

You resisted death by co-opting another man's life. That is not strength, Mr. Octavius. That is cowardice.

[His eyebrows arch.] And my X-Men - all of them - have weathered worse, with and without me.

[abetterweb]

Doctor Octavius. [If he weren't wearing a mask, one might've seen a sudden twinge of annoyance.]

It was hardly cowardice - it was the only logical choice. I have too much left undone, too many important responsibilities to maintain, to leave this world. So I chose to 'co-opt' (yes, I like this description) Peter Parker's body, as he was not doing anything crucial with it at the time, using methods no other creature could possibly have devised or accomplished.

I'd invite you to probe his memories to see what I mean, but I've already removed them. Wasting his time by flitting about from one needless struggle to the next - most of them of his own creation.

So yes, your precious 'X-Men' will fight on. Only now, it will be against each other. I'm sure you're quite proud.

[moltenman]

Whoever you are, 'Spiderman' even I know when someone isn't trueful. Parker doesn't act like that.

[abetterweb]

...my, you certainly look...different.

Sir, I believe your condition is affecting your perception. I am most certainly Spider-Man. If you are in need some some sort of cure for...all this...I can assist you.

[definingfuture]

Looks like you're throwing a party.