dear_mun | Karkat made a new friend

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canon: ms paint adventures

Karkat made a new friend

OH MY GOD!
I SWEAR EACH SUCCESSIVE MUSE THAT ENTERS YOUR HEAD IS A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN THE LAST.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO BE MORE OF A DOUCHEBAG THAN DAVE
BUT SOMEHOW STRIDER NUMBER TWO PULLS IT OFF.
DIRK ACTS LIKE HE'S THE HOTTEST SHIT EVEN THOUGH HE LITERALLY BLOWS CHUNKS ALL THE WAY OUT THE PROTEIN CHUTE.
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON?
I AM THE EXPERT ON ROMANCE.
ME, NOT HIM.
AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS SOME INSUFFERABLE PRICK TELLING ME WHO I CAN'T DATE.
SERIOUSLY, GET THIS SMUG, NOOK SNIFFING BASTARD OUT OF HERE.
DIRK IS SUCH A DICK.
HE IS SUCH A DICK THAT DICK IS GOING TO BE HIS NAME FROM NOW ON.
WHENEVER I SAY THE WORD DICK IN THE FUTURE PLEASE ASSUME I'M TALKING ABOUT DIRK.
ALSO, DICK IS COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE STRIDER FAMILY.
IF HE FLICKS MY HORNS WITH HIS FINGERS ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SHIT SO MUCH RAGE SNAKE THAT THIS ENTIRE THINK PAN WILL BE FULL OF IT.
NOT THAT IT ALREADY ISN'T, BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

yea thats pretty blatant
at least hes swinging
and if hes swinging for u should definitely take the chance
so long as you 2 arent like all horrible for each other
if ur good then ride that windy boy ;)

wait
what
hes doing what
goddamnit dirk that is in no way good for u
well wait i guess the question is
is this meme land where he DOES remember the break up or is it before that?
or quasi who can say land
memeland does the weirdest shit to memories
cant tell you how many memes where i know people just cuz i needed to be thrown into a closet with em
but he if remembers break up then flirting is definitely bad
those feelings are in no way settled for him to be in good state for that

SEE, I HAPPEN TO AGREE.
MAYBE IT WON'T LAST VERY LONG, OR GO EXACTLY THE WAY I WANT IT TO
BUT I THINK I'D BE MORE ANGRY WITH MYSELF IF I NEVER GAVE IT A CHANCE THAN IF I DID AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
I'M NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING LONG TERM HERE
SO IT WON'T BE A DEVASTATING THING FOR ME WHEN IT ENDS LIKE HE SEEMS TO THINK IT WILL.
SURE, I'LL PROBABLY BE SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTED
BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BREAKUP.
DIRK HAS BEEN CLOSE-LIPPED ABOUT ENGLISH IN GENERAL.
WHENEVER I ASK ABOUT IT HE DEFLECTS THE CONVERSATION BACK TO ME.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEIR CONVERSATION SEEMS TO CONTAIN NUMEROUS REFERENCES TO WHAT *I THINK* IS HUMAN GENETIC MATERIAL.
YET DIRK CLAIMS HE ISN'T FLIRTING.

see now thats a mature outlook
sometimes its good to just date and see how it goes
instead of making all these expectations
maybe it wont work out
but maybe it will and itll be awesome
might hurt if its the former
what ifs arent much better tho
i hope it works out for you 2 tho
both of u are pretty awesome and deserve someone special

yeah he can do that
cagey motherfucker
all those guards and ironies and all that
tho if its human genetic material then its hard to call
were teenagers sometimes we just go on about perverted things
but with jake it does lean more towards likely
what context is he talking about it

I THINK I'LL BE FINE AS LONG AS THE MEME KEEPS GOING
BUT AFTER THAT I DON'T KNOW.
THANKS THOUGH.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU'RE A LOT EASIER TO TALK TO THAN ROSE.
SHE'S ALWAYS PSYCHOANALYZING ME.
IT'S KIND OF INTIMIDATING.
YOU'RE REALLY NICE THOUGH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CONTEXT IS.
DIRK SEEMS TO BE MAKING OBSCENE COMMENTS ABOUT SOME STICKY WHITE STUFF IN JAKE'S HAIR.
I THINK IT'S CALLED SILLY STRING?
BUT HE KEEPS GOING ON ABOUT MANBRO BUKKAKE THEATER.
WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS.
I'VE NOTICED THAT DIRK IS A HUGE PERVERT.
EVERYTHING HE SAYS SOUNDS INDECENT.

depends if u run into that john again in memeland
i kept running into the same equius
and i think we reached the point where were kind of dating now
dont tell dirk that though
he might give some moirail shovel talk
and that would either be spectacular or a spectacular trainwreck
but he probs wouldnt let me watch so bleh on him
rose can be kind of intimidating
i thought that was just me tho
shes nice just very
i dont have a word
daunting i guess
thank tho!
i think ur nice 2

with a prompt like silly string it might not be real flirting
esp since jake doesnt even know what bukkae is
if it was flirting itd go over his head
dirk is yeah
and its not all the time
he might just like riling u up ;)

I DON'T KNOW HOW LIKELY THAT IS.
MOST PEOPLE I ONLY RUN INTO ONCE OR TWICE.
THERE IS A PARTICULAR VERSION OF FUTURE GAMZEE THAT I'VE BEEN GETTING ON WELL WITH
AND I THINK I'LL SEE HIM AROUND AGAIN
BUT THAT'S IT.

ROSE CAN BE PRETTY HEAVYHANDED SOMETIMES
BUT SHE'S OKAY I GUESS.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET USED TO HER ANYWAY SEEING AS SHE'S DATING ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS.

AND DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.
I KNOW HOW OBNOXIOUS DIRK CAN BE WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS HE DOESN'T APPROVE OF.
AND MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT AND HE'S JUST TRYING TO BE PROTECTIVE
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN'T BE AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK SOMETIMES.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
THE WAY DIRK SAYS THINGS SEEMS SUGGESTIVE.
AND THE CONVERSATION IS GETTING A LOT MORE EXPLICIT.
I DON'T THINK YOU EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE I SURE THE HELL DIDN'T.

it can be hard to run into people again
kind of sad
but its really nice when you do!
oh is it the one from the dream bubble made reality world?
yeah hes pretty legit

dont know what to tell you
i get all sorts of twisted up around her still

comes with the package sadly
ill tell him eventually i think
if we get to meet up again anyway
but that is defs something id have to warn eq about first

well now im curious
whats he saying
if ur gonna need brain bleach anyway

APPARENTLY HE'S FROM A FUTURE IN WHICH WE BEAT THE GAME AND SETTLED DOWN ON EARTH OR SOMETHING.
HE'S RECOVERING FROM HIS SOPOR ADDICTION AND TRYING TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH HIS LIFE.
I'M PROUD OF HIM.

AND I'M SURE YOU'LL SEE DIRK AGAIN.
HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH ABOUT YOU, BUT I CAN TELL THAT HE REALLY ENJOYS TALKING TO YOU.
HE'LL PROBABLY BE AROUND HERE AND IN MEMES AND STUFF.
I'LL BE AROUND TOO.

I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO REPEAT IT.
IT WAS REALLY GROSS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COLOR HUMAN GENETIC MATERIAL IS SUPPOSED TO BE NORMALLY
BUT *APPARENTLY* THE COLOR CAN BE CHANGED
IF YOU EAT THE RIGHT FOODS OR SOMETHING.
TROLL GENETIC MATERIAL IS ALREADY DIFFERENT COLORS, BUT IT DEPENDS ON THE COLOR OF OUR BLOOD.
ALL OF OUR BODILY FLUIDS ARE THE COLOR OF OUR BLOOD.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S A WAY TO CHANGE THAT.

dawwww
you two are cute
yeah i think i kno him
hes not doing too bad i think

i know just never know with the mun
she is not always on top of finding things
hopefully itll get better when shes got me in a game
playin me aaaaall the time is a good reminder ;)
esp since she knows its important to me to keep track of my boys
and all their iterations

huh really
didnt actually know that
ill have to look it up but it could be possible
i know foods can change the taste
i always wondered about taht with trolls tho
like
how does that change the water in your tears ducts
like do you have this constant hole in those ducts
if a troll doesnt cry for a long time does just pure blood come out because of build up
kind of the same with genetic material though maybe a bit more sense
thats got some dna involved at least

IF IT'S THE SAME ONE THEN HE'S RAISING A GRUB WITH ERIDAN
BECAUSE THEY'RE A THING SOMEHOW.
I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.
BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD A PUBLIC OUTCRY, SO I ASSUME THEY'RE DOING WELL.

I COULD ALWAYS GET MY MUN TO PM YOURS OR SOMETHING.
HE'S A LAZY BASTARD, BUT I'LL POKE HIM AND MAKE SURE HE DOES IT.

YEAH, DIRK MENTIONED THAT THE TASE CAN BE CHANGED TOO.
THEN HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT *SWALLOWING* IT.
OH MY GOD!
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
TROLLS PRODUCE WAY TOO MUCH GENETIC MATERIAL TO SWALLOW.
YOU COULD PROBABLY DROWN IN IT IF YOU TRIED.
I GUESS HUMANS DON'T THOUGH?
ANYWAY, I'VE DECIDED THAT THEIR CONVERSATION IS SO GROSS I'M NOT GOING TO READ IT ANYMORE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW ENGLISH PUTS UP WITH HIM.

AND I DON'T THINK WE HAVE CONSTANT HOLES EVERYWHERE.
OUR TEARS COME FROM INSIDE OUR BODIES AND THERE'S BLOOD IN OUR BODIES.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR TEARS AND YOUR BLOOD ARE DIFFERENT COLORS.
IT'S WEIRD. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

i havent heard about the grub
but the one im thinking of does roll with eridan a lot
so i think its him
and they might not be too bad
amazing how agreeable eridan is if you just subtly poke him not to be crazy with the lasers
or white sciences

thatd be cool
then shed definitely jump on the chance
she knows she likes to see me hanging with the guys

lmao
oh whoa
okay that explains the buckets
good to know
the short nongross answer is no
we do not produce near that much
probs cuz we dont need to have our genes fight in a massive slurry
n he does cuz years of trust and friendship

cuz its red blood cells that makes human blood red
the iron in it does that
but we dont need that in tears or genetic material
actually now im wondering what makes the troll blood color all different
i know some creatures had blue blood because instead of iron they had copper
so what all different metals are in the blood to make it this whole rainbow
like youd have iron
but what does nepeta have
or feferi
anywai
we dont need that in tears
tears are just cleaning pretty much
and if there was traces amounts of blood in there thatd be pretty inconvenient
what if it makes it more sticky
wouldnt be a good cleaner
but thats if thats why its red
what is it about the troll body that colors the water they turn to tears
aaaaaa my scientist brain wants to knooooo

Edited 2013-09-19 22:22 (UTC)

I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY TALKED TO ERIDAN
BUT I THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP MAKES SENSE.
AND IT SEEMS TO WORK, SO GOOD FOR THEM.

OKAY, SO HUMANS DON'T PRODUCE THAT MUCH
BUT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SWALLOW IT?
IS THAT A THING THAT HUMANS DO?
IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD TO ME.
I MEAN, I GUESS IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR TROLLS TO DO IT TOO.
MAYBE IF YOU POURED THE BUCKET INTO A FEW CUPS
YOU COULD SIT AROUND AND SIP ON IT ALL DAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT THOUGH.
YOU COULD GET CULLED IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY LEFT TO SUPPLY TO THE IMPERIAL DRONES
AND IT PROBABLY DOESN'T TASTE GOOD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SORT OF CELLS OR CHEMICALS ARE IN OUR BLOOD.
TO BE HONEST, THERE ISN'T A LOT OF MEDICAL SCIENCE ON OUR PLANET.
NO ONE CARES ABOUT HEALING PEOPLE.
ALL WE CARE ABOUT IS KILLING THINGS AND MAKING WEAPONS.
AND COMMUNICATIONS TO SOME EXTENT.
CAN'T ORGANIZE A BATTLE UNLESS YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.

no reason to rock the boat of a good thing

thaaaaats more of a kink thing
and i guess maybe a clean thing
dont gotta clean it up and its not like it hurts someone to consume it
no idea what it tastes like
fanfics give all the mixed messages about the taste
tho gotta ask
do trolls do the oral sex thing
or does the teeth make that a no?

bet the condesce regrets that
mb her experiments wouldnt have been terrible failures if she actually had that stuff studied
communication is pretty important
everything is so small when you dont have good long range communication

WOULDN'T IT BE JUST AS EASY TO CATCH IT IN A BUCKET?
I MEAN, I GUESS HUMANS WOULDN'T NEED A BUCKET.
A CUP MAYBE?
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOST TROLLS DO
BUT I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE OUT OF LINE IN A CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIP.
THEY USUALLY INVOLVE A LOT OF TEETH.
THE THING IS THAT IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO GET A BULGE TO HOLD STILL
EVEN IF IT'S YOUR OWN.
SO YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE ONE TOO FAR INTO YOUR MOUTH.
YOU MIGHT CHOKE ON IT.

I DON'T THINK THE CONDESCE REGRETS ANYTHING.
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, IT PROBABLY COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL.
HEALING JUST ISN'T MUCH OF A THING IN OUR CULTURE.
IF SOMEONE DIES WE JUST ASSUME THEY WERE WEAK AND THEY DESERVED IT.

buckets are all sorts of cumbersome
glass less so but only for girls since they could carry bags all the time
plus sometimes its not always a planned thing
humans dont usually mean to involve teeth for that sort of thing
their bulges also dont move on their own
wait trolls do
so u guys do have the tentacle thing

probs not
shes all irksome like that
n thats a pretty depressing and grim outlook

IT'S A BIT DIFFERENT FOR TROLLS.
SOME OF US HAVE VERY PROMINENT TEETH AND THEY'RE DIFFICULT TO AVOID.
ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE FOR A TROLL WHO DOESN'T HAVE PROMINENT TEETH TO AVOID GRAZING SENSITIVE PARTS.
AND YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT OUR BULGES RESEMBLE TENTACLES TO SOME EXTENT
BUT IT ISN'T A PERFECT COMPARISON.
FOR EXAMPLE, WE DON'T HAVE THOSE LITTLE SUCKER THINGS.
THAT WOULD BE GROSS.

I CAN SEE WHY YOU'D THINK THAT
BUT IT ALWAYS GAVE ME A SENSE OF PRIDE.
I MADE IT THROUGH ALL THE TRIALS
SO NO MATTER HOW MUTATED MY BLOOD IS, I DESERVE TO BE HERE
BECAUSE I SURVIVED.

yeah ud probs cut up the inside of ur lips trying to cover em
sharpness is factor too id think
it would make it a bit more unruly
getting stuck all over
kind of funny

surviving against the odds is always a point to be prideful
tho i think if i had a normal life id probs still feel i deserve to be around?
but nothing wrong with having the badass points
like saying
screw u and ur challenges universe
gonna kick ass and take names and give no fucks

IT'S POSSIBLE TO AVOID CUTTING YOUR OWN LIPS IF YOU'RE CAREFUL
BUT NOT IF THERE'S A LOT OF RIGOROUS ACTIVITY.
AND IT'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH THAT BULGES MOVE ALL OVER THE PLACE
THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR IT TO GET STUCK ON THINGS.

YOUR HUMAN VERSION OF A "NORMAL" LIFE SEEMS BORING TO ME.
IF I DIDN'T GET TO GO AROUND KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.
I GUESS I FEEL BETTER IN A SYSTEM THAN REQUIRES ME TO PROVE MY OWN WORTH THAN I WOULD IN ONE THAT VIEWS WORTH AS AN INHERENT THING.
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK IT IS.
SOME PEOPLE REALLY ARE WORTHLESS.

yeeeeeeeah probably wouldnt work so well for a troll mouth
maybe a human could manage it
blunt teeth gotta count for something
id say fifty fifty chance of ending in disaster

awwww dont say that
that worthless thing
everyones got potential for a good point somewhere
not everyone goes for it
or turn into douchebags
but even silly chess people have their good points
cant really say if a normal life is boring or what
i think id be all right with boring tho
hell livin in the future could be hella boring
waaaaaay too much free time
more options of shit to do in normal human life
might not have survived the game as well
i mean if there was real threats about
not that hard to dodge undead after a while =/

THIS IS PROBABLY MORE THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT TROLLS
BUT I THINK ORAL FOR US IS MORE ABOUT LICKING AND NUZZLING THAN ACTUALLY PUTTING THINGS IN OUR MOUTHS.
IT JUST WORKS BETTER THAT WAY.
NOT THAT I HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH IT
I'M JUST GOING OFF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
WHICH IS USUALLY MORE THAN I EVER WANTED TO KNOW.
I MEAN, I'M USE TO HEARING ABOUT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
BUT PEOPLE TELLING MY ABOUT THEIR SEX LIVES IS NEW AND SLIGHTLY DISTURBING.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
MAYBE ALL PEOPLE HAVE POTENTIAL
BUT THERE ARE DEFINITELY SOME THAT WILL NEVER LIVE UP TO IT.
I KNOW MORE THAN A FEW WHO TURNED INTO DOUCHEBAGS.
I GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE CHESS PEOPLE THOUGH.
THE MAYOR WAS TOTALLY COOL, NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.
BUT YEAH, TOO MUCH FREE TIME DEFINITELY SOUNDS BORING.
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE THINGS TO DO
EVEN IF THEY AREN'T DANGEROUS, LIFE-THREATENING THINGS.

its actually pretty interesting
that makes sense
sounds kind of cute 2
its that age
more sex involved to go with the relationship problems
im sure youll get ur own experience soon enough

yyyyyeah a lot seem to turn into douches
kind of sad =/
chess ppl are totes cool
tho just with the chess ppl
their futility myths and obedience gets a bit depressing
gotta mix them with others for best affect
glad tm was a good experience for ya
usually enjoyed the stuff that didnt threaten my life
even life threatening things get boring
oh yay another robot
annoying and just the same stuff all over again
i mean i totally freaked out the one time i went for a swim and found a tree on this little island nearby
so much so i brought a window out just to stare at it from home
that is the extent of the boredom karkat
tree watching

THE SEX TALK DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS THOUGH.
IT'S JUST THAT MY FRIENDS ARE PERVERTS.
MORE OF THEM THAN I THOUGHT, APPARENTLY.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE CHESS PEOPLE
BESIDES THE MAYOR, WHO WAS AWESOME.
AND I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT.
LIFE THREATENING THINGS CAN GET BORING IT THEY'RE THE ONLY THINGS THAT HAPPEN.
I GUESS ANYTHING CAN GET BORING IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH OF IT.
AND TREE WATCHING IS THE LAMEST THING I EVER HEARD OF.
IT'S ALMOST AS BAD AS SITTING ON A LAWNRING AND WATCHING THE GRASS GROW.
WE NEED TO GET YOU A NEW HOBBY.
SOMETHING MORE ENTERTAINING.
DO YOU EVER WATCH ROM COMS?

oh
well i guess u guys r at that age

they are a simple ppl
who are easily confused
like srsly
its hard not to want to take care of them all
man i wish i had grass
i would totes watch grass
fuck at least with grass i could measure it daily
and like
making fucking data charts
get all scientific about it
it would have been a great activity

fyeah ive watched romcoms
youd be surprised what survives on the internet after the world ends

THAT DOESN'T GIVE THEM AN EXCUSE.
I DON'T CARE WHAT AGE THEY ARE.
SOME THINGS SHOULD BE KEPT PRIVATE.

THAT SOUNDS SO BORING.
YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

MAYBE SOMETIME WE COULD WATCH ROM COMS TOGETHER SOMETIME.
NOT LIKE A DATE OR ANYTHING, JUST AS FRIENDS.
I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO WATCH THEM WITH.
IT'D BE NICE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU
AND MAYBE GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.

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*Proceeds to google like a madwoman because she probably knows biology stuff and would know reasons*

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oh my gosh, what sort of horrorterror possessed my subject bar last post...

Clearly that subject bar has gone grimdark.

Apparently! Never had that happen before and it IS Roxy...

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Proceeds to google like a madwoman because she probably knows biology stuff and would know reasons