dear_mun | Karkat made a new friend

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canon: ms paint adventures

Karkat made a new friend

OH MY GOD!
I SWEAR EACH SUCCESSIVE MUSE THAT ENTERS YOUR HEAD IS A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN THE LAST.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO BE MORE OF A DOUCHEBAG THAN DAVE
BUT SOMEHOW STRIDER NUMBER TWO PULLS IT OFF.
DIRK ACTS LIKE HE'S THE HOTTEST SHIT EVEN THOUGH HE LITERALLY BLOWS CHUNKS ALL THE WAY OUT THE PROTEIN CHUTE.
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON?
I AM THE EXPERT ON ROMANCE.
ME, NOT HIM.
AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS SOME INSUFFERABLE PRICK TELLING ME WHO I CAN'T DATE.
SERIOUSLY, GET THIS SMUG, NOOK SNIFFING BASTARD OUT OF HERE.
DIRK IS SUCH A DICK.
HE IS SUCH A DICK THAT DICK IS GOING TO BE HIS NAME FROM NOW ON.
WHENEVER I SAY THE WORD DICK IN THE FUTURE PLEASE ASSUME I'M TALKING ABOUT DIRK.
ALSO, DICK IS COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE STRIDER FAMILY.
IF HE FLICKS MY HORNS WITH HIS FINGERS ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SHIT SO MUCH RAGE SNAKE THAT THIS ENTIRE THINK PAN WILL BE FULL OF IT.
NOT THAT IT ALREADY ISN'T, BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

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WHY WOULD YOU MAKE CLOTHES?
NONE OF US DID THAT
EXCEPT MAYBE KANAYA.
TROLLS DON'T USUALLY CARE ABOUT FASHION
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW WHO DOES.

OKAY, SO MAYBE THE CUBES AREN'T COMPLETELY USELESS.
I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO MESS WITH THEM.

I STILL THINK IT'S GROSS.
THE ONLY REASON HE LIKES IT IS BECAUSE OF HIS STUPID SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
AND THE FACT THAT HE THINKS IT'S SCANDALOUS WHEN PEOPLE GO AGAINST IT.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANCESTORS TO ME.
USUALLY THEY ARE FROM CENTURIES IN THE FUTURE AND THEY DIE BEFORE YOU MEET THEM.
ALL TROLLS HAVE ONE, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HUMANS DID.
THEY USUALLY DON'T MAKE OUR HIVES THOUGH.
WE DO THAT OURSELVES WHEN WE'RE KIDS.

I GUESS I NEVER KNEW HER WELL ENOUGH TO TELL THAT THERE WAS A PROBLEM.
KANAYA PROBABLY WOULD'VE NOTICED IT BEFORE ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOPORIFICS THAT WELL
SINCE I'VE NEVER CONSUMED ANY MYSELF.
I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU'D WANT TO.

SHIT, THAT MUST BE GAMZEE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'D THROW TWO CORPSES INTO THE SAME KERNEL
BUT WHO KNOWS WHY HE DOES ANYTHING?
HOW DID HE EVEN GET INTO YOUR SESSION?
MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES.
MORE LIKE MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT IF YOU ASK ME.

humans do
we like fashion
and i wanted clothes that i didnt get from a box
think dirk did too
j and j were just alone for the ride
(though janey liked hers too)
i still dont know how we kept talking jake into shortening his shorts

we should hang out and i can show you how to make a kick ass fort
dont tell me that wouldnt be boss

eh maybe
its never bothered me much
kind of funny actually

yeah pretty much
we had less families and more ancestors
some weird combo of the two
since our ancestors were very concerned with us existing and doing all right
would have preferred just family

occasional consumption can be fun and help to unwind
to do it regularly is not so good
could be lots of reasons
but the end result is someone is not dealing with shit well
dont matter how theyre acting while under it
its a liiiiiie
kanaya probs did

yeah i think it is
i mean most everyone knows hes the purple clown
huh i just realized that i never got his name in all our meme interactions
he was just alwyas the juggalo or the clown
still no goddamn clue why he threw the corpses into the sprites
but apparently theres a bunch of mindfuckery going on
serious voices
and i think hes in because caliborn/lord english
or serket
one or the other
or both

HUMANS SURE ARE WEIRD.
YOU GET PREOCCUPIED WITH THE DUMBEST THINGS SOMETIMES.
BUT AS LONG AS YOU STILL GET STUFF DONE I GUESS IT ISN'T SO BAD.

I'D LIKE THAT.
I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO BUILD FORTS BEFORE, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT FAMILIES.
IN ADDITION TO KANKRI I NOW HAVE TWO STRIDERS TO PUT UP WITH.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M GLAD DAVE SHOWED UP.
IT'S NICE TO SEE MY BEST BRO AGAIN.
BUT I CAN'T COMPETE WITH DIRK.
HE GETS MOST OF DAVE'S ATTENTION.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT CASUAL CONSUMPTION
BUT IF HUMAN SOPORIFICS ARE ANYTHING LIKE TROLL ONES THEN TOO MUCH IS DEFINITELY BAD.
I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH OF AN EFFECT IT HAD ON GAMZEE UNTIL HE DIDN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT.
I GUESS I JUST FELT SORT OF GUILTY
LIKE IF I WERE REALLY A GOOD FRIEND I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO PREVENT HIM FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END.
NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S GONE THROUGH SINCE HE BROKE UP WITH ME
BUT I CAN'T STAND BY AND WATCH HIM HURT TEREZI.

motto of my life
so long as shit gets done
who cares what ya do while getting it done
and its not like we had much else to do but kill time

then its going on the list!
hugs and fort building

tbh dirk is probably going for that attention
hes been pretty excited to meet dave for a while
give em some time and hopefully hell distract dave less
oooooor get obsessive
tell me if he gets obsessive
needs to let dave talk to his bros eventually

most people do casual
like once a week or months or even longer periods of time
basically its not a daily thing in large amounts
that may or may not be all day
from what ive gotten from gamzee its pretty much all the same bad shit
rots ur brain
tho here is one thing from a former addict
do not blame urself about another persons deeds
its just ur responsibility to get his shit together
he needs to want his shit together
but if that juggalo is like the juggalo im getting to know
hed want u to help terezi
in his heart of hearts

SOUNDS GOOD.
WHEN AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?

DIRK ISN'T BEING OBSESSIVE
OR AT LEAST, I DON'T THINK HE IS.
DAVE STILL SPENDS TIME WITH ME SO I CAN'T COMPLAIN.
HE KEPT HIS WORD AND HE'S BEEN A TRUE BRO.
IT'S JUST THAT WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER I FEEL LEFT OUT SOMETIMES
BECAUSE THEY'RE SO CLOSE.
I SORT OF UNDERSTAND THOUGH.
RELATIVES CAN BE OVERWHELMING SOMETIMES
WHETHER IT'S AN ANCESTOR OR A HUMAN FAMILY MEMBER.
KANKRI WAS REALLY OVERWHELMING TOO
THOUGH NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
I'M PRETTY SURE DAVE IDOLIZES THE SHIT OUT OF DIRK.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY ANCESTOR COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT.

SEE, CONSUMING SOPOR SLIME ISN'T EVEN A THING MOST TROLLS DO.
WE KNOW NOT TO EAT THAT SHIT
OR AT LEAST, EVERYONE BUT GAMZEE DID.
SO I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF THERE'S A HEALTHY LEVEL TO INGEST
OR WHAT THAT LEVEL MIGHT BE.
I JUST SLEEP IN IT.
I DON'T EAT IT.
AND ANYWAY I TRIED.
I MAY HAVE BEEN AN AWFUL MOIRAIL, BUT HE WASN'T SO GREAT EITHER.
IT'S PROBABLY WEIRD, BUT I LIKE OLDER GAMZEE BETTER.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH CURRENT GAMZEE.
MAYBE HE DIDN'T MEAN TO DO WHAT HE DID
BUT I'M GETTING REALLY SICK OF HIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.
I'M NOT SAYING I'D KILL HIM OR ANYTHING
BUT I THINK HE DESERVES A GOOD SMACKDOWN.

well theres meme land
or musebox land
or just go 'and then we were there in person' instead of text land here

good
he learned his lesson if thats true
or is better
either way is good
family is a good connection
pretty vital for humans psychologically
family love is one of those ones need pretty badly
hopefully its not too idolizing
but its been a while for dave since he saw his bro right?
and dirk never met his
so theres gonna be some catch up
kind of sad trolls dont get that sort of thing
or maybe u do from lusus?
lusus is probably closer than ancestors

tbf
alcohol is a poison too
humans have this habit of drinking and eating and smoking shit we really shouldnt
yeah i know this will kill me eventually
but it wont now
so WHY THE FUCK NOT
humans are some yolo motherfuckers
good thing trolls dont do taht so much
a good smackdown will help
i think
at least it raises the chances for him to realize shit is fucked up
get him thinking
so he can be like older gamzee

OKAY, EITHER WAY SOUNDS FINE.
THE 'AND THEN WE WERE THERE IN PERSON' THING MIGHT BE BETTER THOUGH.
BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THE MUN IS GOING TO BE TOO LAZY TO PUT ANYTHING ELSE UP FOR AWHILE.
I JUST GOT INTO A GAME, SO I'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY.
I HAVE ALL THESE TAGS ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I'M MEETING ALL KINDS OF NEW PEOPLE
AND TALKING TO SOME OLD FRIENDS.
IT'S KIND OF NICE.

I DON'T THINK DIRK FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT DAVE AS HE DOES ABOUT JAKE.
ALTHOUGH I CAN'T BE SURE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMAN BROTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE
SO I WOULDN'T KNOW IF THEY WERE CROSSING INTO RED TERRITORY OR NOT
BUT IT SEEMS PRETTY PLATONIC TO ME FOR THE MOST PART.
SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT DIRK'S ROMANTIC OBSESSIONS PROBABLY DON'T APPLY.

A LUSUS IS A GUARDIAN.
THEY'RE MORE LIKE HUMAN PARENTS THAN HUMAN BROTHERS AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.
THOUGH DIRK REFERS TO ME AND KANKRI AS "THE VANTAS BROTHERS" SOMETIMES.
SO I GUESS KANKRI IS AS CLOSE TO A HUMAN BROTHER AS I'LL EVER HAVE.

TROLLS DO PLENTY OF STUPID AND DESTRUCTIVE SHIT TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE MORE LIKELY TO DO VIOLENT THINGS THAN CONSUME POISONS.
FLARPING CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS.
A LOT OF TROLLS DIE PLAYING IT.
BUT NO ONE CARES.
THEY KEEP PLAYING IT ANYWAY, BECAUSE THEY THINK IT'S "FUN".

there is something to the and suddenly in person thing
can totes understand the new game thing
got into a game and be runnin all over
esp since i was declared team leader
by everyone using their logic on me
i cant help i am a strong independent woman
who wants to see all the new shiny things like grass
so i run around everywhere doin shit
but p nice
if lacking friends
tavros is there tho
hes legit

oh noooo
defs not
...
i think
i mean i guess i wouldnt be totes surprised
but i dont think its a thing yet
anyway its not so much the romantic obsession as just
wanting affection
sort of thing
platonic or romantic affection
good if hes not obsessing

probs
theres some equal footing with bros
parents are above and protective
plus sibs are more likely to drive each other cray cray

yyyyeah flarping does sound pretty stupid
thats probably close to the whole drug culture
though the drugs can have lasting affects
sides death
a whooole bunch of diseases and shit

I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY HAVE TEAMS WHERE I WENT.
IT'S A NICE ENOUGH PLACE, BUT VRISKA IS SUCH A BITCH SOMETIMES.
I GUESS I UNDERSTAND THOUGH.
SHE WAS ALWAYS REALLY INDEPENDENT AND IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE WE WERE A TEAM.
IT STILL PISSES ME OFF WHEN SHE IGNORES MY ORDERS THOUGH.
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THERE.
THERE'S JOHN, KANAYA, AND ROSE I GUESS.
THOUGH I STILL HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER YET.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT ROMANCE CAN BE A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.
DIRK AND DAVE DON'T SEEM VERY COMPLICATED TO ME.
SO EVEN IF THEY ARE FUCKING, WHICH I WOULDN'T PUT PAST EITHER OF THEM, IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T MATTER.
DIRK ISN'T ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE OVER DAVE LIKE HE IS WITH JAKE.
DAVE SEEMS SORT OF INTO DIRK, BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT I WOULD CONSIDER OBSESSIVE
AND THEY'RE BOTH STILL INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE
SO THERE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T ANYTHING ROMANTIC GOING ON THERE.
I THINK THE STRONGER YOUR FEELINGS ARE FOR SOMEONE THE MORE DIFFICULT IT CAN BE TO EXPRESS THEM SOMETIMES
YOU WANT THINGS AND YOU HAVE EXPECTATIONS AND YOU GET DISAPPOINTED WHEN PEOPLE LET YOU DOWN.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME.

ANYWAY, I AM GOING TO STOP TYPING ON THIS COMPUTER AND MAGICALLY APPEAR WHEREVER YOU ARE.

[Magical whooshing sound.]

Hi.

i think its to help the amnesiacs not flounder
yeah did get that impression
sometimes ok
sometimes real bitchy
but i think i know the place ur talking about
enough time away and u just do ur own thing
lucky u to have all those others tho
john and kanaya are pretty nice when i meet em
and rose
hopefully ull talk to her soon

mb
kind of hard to tell with my limited social circle
like i dont think my friends would ever leave
not sure what dirk would think would happen if things with jake didnt work out romantically
like if they somehow had a clean break off
like did he expect him to not want to be his friend
idk
i think itd be silly because total friends forever
but there is this
fear?
with romance that the other person can just leave
doesnt seem so likely with friends
and only physical things should be in the way of family
like distance or death
family can have hella deep feelings though
can kind of override everything
and span centuries
but thats what family does
there are expectations i think
some may be harder than others to meet
but i think love kind of makes it easier to overcome those sort of things
like disappointment and expectation
as long as you love the actual person and not just the idea

sweet

[Looking away from her computer and she breaks out in a wide grin.]

Gonna hug you now!

[Karkat is already here when he gets the reply, so he just responds to it in person.]

It's the same place we both visited during the fourth wall event.
I convinced the mun to app me there so I could stay.
It's pretty nice so far, though there are weird things happening lately.

I think there are a lot more expectations in romance than with friends and family.
People can get really upset when someone else lets them down.
Most people have a lot of friends, so if something goes wrong with one you can just talk to another, but you only have one moirail, matesprit, or kismesis.
So if that relationship goes bad, there's no one else to turn to in that quadrant.
Unless you have someone else lined up for the position.
Anyway, I'm just saying that romance can be difficult sometimes.
I should know.

[Then she says she's going to hug him, so Karkat braces himself for that.]

Fuck, okay.

That's the way of a game, really.
Weird shit happens.
Weird stuff happens where I am too.
But yeah, it seemed pretty nice.

I suppose it's easier to see friendship as...less?
Less with the expectations when you can have a lot of friends. [Kind of unsure herself on that.]
Families are families and they're supposed to be pretty unconditional.
But romance is like...
Close to the unconditional level, but it's actually super conditional, so you gotta meet it.
But yeah, it seems pretty difficult.
Not that I would know first had.
All romance things with me have been pretty temporary.
Mostly I watch the trainwrecks.

[Yessssss, excellent! Hugging is happening RIGHT NOW. Is a strong hugger, but it shouldn't be quite painful. Barely.]

[Karkat will tolerate the hug. It's not bad. He's been licked, tossed around, and had buckets thrown at him. Compared to that hugs are kinda of nice actually.]

I didn't mean to say that friendship is any less important than romance.
I just think it's less stressful sometimes, because you wouldn't expect a friend to do some of the things you'd expect a romantic partner to do.
I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it?
I don't think I'm the only person with expectations though.
Most people want certain things out of romance.
Sometimes really specific things.
But I don't think that's bad as long as your expectations are realistic.
The problem is, I'm not sure my expectations are realistic.
What if they aren't?

[Hugs are very nice in Roxy's opinion. One of the best things ever.]

They do have pretty different expectations.
What kind of expectations do you have?

I don't know. I guess I was waiting for something special, like in all the stupid rom coms I used to watch. You're supposed to know when you've found the right person and everything's supposed to feel right and it's just supposed to work out somehow, but it never does.

Now that I've said that it sounds really fucking stupid. Reality check asshole! That shit never happens! I guess the joke is on me because I was chasing after something that probably doesn't even exist. Haha, look at this hopeless loser and his stupid dreams that will never fucking come true! Maybe if he weren't such a complete and utter moron he would actually stand a chance at filling at least one fucking quadrant! But I am, so I don't.

Oh hun. No, no, don't get so down on yourself. [And since she's still hugging him, will rub his back and try to be soothing.]

It is probs an unrealistic expectation. Even if you get that feeling of 'yes, this is the one,' it can end up only being you, and it really doesn't work out. But I think when it comes to love, it's hard and no one understands what they're actually doing. It's hard and messy and people have to work really hard at it.

But when it works...when you really have those feelings...they are pretty awesome.

I know. That happens to me all the time. I don't know what to think anymore.

[Karkat sighs and leans into her shoulder. Even when it isn't just him he can't seem to get the timing right. Or maybe it's just that most of the people he's been interested in can find someone better.]

I guess I'm just a little frustrated right now. I don't even think I know what I'm doing anymore. Maybe I never did. I just end up messing things up for myself and everyone else around me. Maybe I should just give up?

You shouldn't give up. What good would that do? Maybe relax though? If you don't get yourself stuck in things being a certain way, then when it's a real thing, when it could happen, you'll be able to notice it?

Though if you need a break, you should take that. Sometimes a break can do a lot of good.

A break sounds like a good idea. I guess I'm sort of already doing that? I just feel like I shouldn't be getting involved with anyone until I know for sure what I want. And maybe I need to check and make sure my expectations are realistic first. I guess I feel like I'll have a better chance that way.

Well, the one bit of advice I can give for that is this; communication.

Fucking communication would have saved a lot of drama for my friends, so there's gotta be something to it.

In case someone happens to take ya by surprise.

It's not sure it'll work for me though. It seems like every time I try to talk to people I make things worse instead of better. I guess I'm probably not saying the right things, but I get so confused sometimes. It's just frustrating.

Well, the important question is, are you straight forward? Or going around in circles and not saying what you actually wanna say?

Probably not. But I can't be straightforward. People generally don't react well when you hit on them out of nowhere. Just trust me on that.

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Karkat made a new friend

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