dear_mun | Karkat made a new friend

OH MY GOD!
I SWEAR EACH SUCCESSIVE MUSE THAT ENTERS YOUR HEAD IS A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN THE LAST.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO BE MORE OF A DOUCHEBAG THAN DAVE
BUT SOMEHOW STRIDER NUMBER TWO PULLS IT OFF.
DIRK ACTS LIKE HE'S THE HOTTEST SHIT EVEN THOUGH HE LITERALLY BLOWS CHUNKS ALL THE WAY OUT THE PROTEIN CHUTE.
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON?
I AM THE EXPERT ON ROMANCE.
ME, NOT HIM.
AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS SOME INSUFFERABLE PRICK TELLING ME WHO I CAN'T DATE.
SERIOUSLY, GET THIS SMUG, NOOK SNIFFING BASTARD OUT OF HERE.
DIRK IS SUCH A DICK.
HE IS SUCH A DICK THAT DICK IS GOING TO BE HIS NAME FROM NOW ON.
WHENEVER I SAY THE WORD DICK IN THE FUTURE PLEASE ASSUME I'M TALKING ABOUT DIRK.
ALSO, DICK IS COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE STRIDER FAMILY.
IF HE FLICKS MY HORNS WITH HIS FINGERS ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SHIT SO MUCH RAGE SNAKE THAT THIS ENTIRE THINK PAN WILL BE FULL OF IT.
NOT THAT IT ALREADY ISN'T, BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's the way of a game, really.
Weird shit happens.
Weird stuff happens where I am too.
But yeah, it seemed pretty nice.

I suppose it's easier to see friendship as...less?
Less with the expectations when you can have a lot of friends. [Kind of unsure herself on that.]
Families are families and they're supposed to be pretty unconditional.
But romance is like...
Close to the unconditional level, but it's actually super conditional, so you gotta meet it.
But yeah, it seems pretty difficult.
Not that I would know first had.
All romance things with me have been pretty temporary.
Mostly I watch the trainwrecks.

[Yessssss, excellent! Hugging is happening RIGHT NOW. Is a strong hugger, but it shouldn't be quite painful. Barely.]

[Karkat will tolerate the hug. It's not bad. He's been licked, tossed around, and had buckets thrown at him. Compared to that hugs are kinda of nice actually.]

I didn't mean to say that friendship is any less important than romance.
I just think it's less stressful sometimes, because you wouldn't expect a friend to do some of the things you'd expect a romantic partner to do.
I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it?
I don't think I'm the only person with expectations though.
Most people want certain things out of romance.
Sometimes really specific things.
But I don't think that's bad as long as your expectations are realistic.
The problem is, I'm not sure my expectations are realistic.
What if they aren't?

[Hugs are very nice in Roxy's opinion. One of the best things ever.]

They do have pretty different expectations.
What kind of expectations do you have?

I don't know. I guess I was waiting for something special, like in all the stupid rom coms I used to watch. You're supposed to know when you've found the right person and everything's supposed to feel right and it's just supposed to work out somehow, but it never does.

Now that I've said that it sounds really fucking stupid. Reality check asshole! That shit never happens! I guess the joke is on me because I was chasing after something that probably doesn't even exist. Haha, look at this hopeless loser and his stupid dreams that will never fucking come true! Maybe if he weren't such a complete and utter moron he would actually stand a chance at filling at least one fucking quadrant! But I am, so I don't.

Oh hun. No, no, don't get so down on yourself. [And since she's still hugging him, will rub his back and try to be soothing.]

It is probs an unrealistic expectation. Even if you get that feeling of 'yes, this is the one,' it can end up only being you, and it really doesn't work out. But I think when it comes to love, it's hard and no one understands what they're actually doing. It's hard and messy and people have to work really hard at it.

But when it works...when you really have those feelings...they are pretty awesome.

I know. That happens to me all the time. I don't know what to think anymore.

[Karkat sighs and leans into her shoulder. Even when it isn't just him he can't seem to get the timing right. Or maybe it's just that most of the people he's been interested in can find someone better.]

I guess I'm just a little frustrated right now. I don't even think I know what I'm doing anymore. Maybe I never did. I just end up messing things up for myself and everyone else around me. Maybe I should just give up?

You shouldn't give up. What good would that do? Maybe relax though? If you don't get yourself stuck in things being a certain way, then when it's a real thing, when it could happen, you'll be able to notice it?

Though if you need a break, you should take that. Sometimes a break can do a lot of good.

A break sounds like a good idea. I guess I'm sort of already doing that? I just feel like I shouldn't be getting involved with anyone until I know for sure what I want. And maybe I need to check and make sure my expectations are realistic first. I guess I feel like I'll have a better chance that way.

Well, the one bit of advice I can give for that is this; communication.

Fucking communication would have saved a lot of drama for my friends, so there's gotta be something to it.

In case someone happens to take ya by surprise.

It's not sure it'll work for me though. It seems like every time I try to talk to people I make things worse instead of better. I guess I'm probably not saying the right things, but I get so confused sometimes. It's just frustrating.

Well, the important question is, are you straight forward? Or going around in circles and not saying what you actually wanna say?

Probably not. But I can't be straightforward. People generally don't react well when you hit on them out of nowhere. Just trust me on that.

Karkat made a new friend

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