Karkat made a new friend

[malignantrage]

OH MY GOD!
I SWEAR EACH SUCCESSIVE MUSE THAT ENTERS YOUR HEAD IS A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN THE LAST.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO BE MORE OF A DOUCHEBAG THAN DAVE
BUT SOMEHOW STRIDER NUMBER TWO PULLS IT OFF.
DIRK ACTS LIKE HE'S THE HOTTEST SHIT EVEN THOUGH HE LITERALLY BLOWS CHUNKS ALL THE WAY OUT THE PROTEIN CHUTE.
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO TELL ME WHO I CAN AND CAN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON?
I AM THE EXPERT ON ROMANCE.
ME, NOT HIM.
AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS SOME INSUFFERABLE PRICK TELLING ME WHO I CAN'T DATE.
SERIOUSLY, GET THIS SMUG, NOOK SNIFFING BASTARD OUT OF HERE.
DIRK IS SUCH A DICK.
HE IS SUCH A DICK THAT DICK IS GOING TO BE HIS NAME FROM NOW ON.
WHENEVER I SAY THE WORD DICK IN THE FUTURE PLEASE ASSUME I'M TALKING ABOUT DIRK.
ALSO, DICK IS COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.
I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE STRIDER FAMILY.
IF HE FLICKS MY HORNS WITH HIS FINGERS ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SHIT SO MUCH RAGE SNAKE THAT THIS ENTIRE THINK PAN WILL BE FULL OF IT.
NOT THAT IT ALREADY ISN'T, BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

Comments

[malignantrage]

OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO.

YOU MAY HAVE A POINT ABOUT THAT.
I NEVER HEARD HER ADMIRE ANY GUYS EITHER.
THEN AGAIN, SHE WAS NEVER VERY VOCAL ABOUT ANY OF HER CRUSHES.
I DON'T THINK MOST OF OUR FRIENDS EVER KNEW SHE HAD A THING FOR VRISKA
AND IF WE HADN'T MET ROSE THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED THAT EITHER.
IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH HER.

SPEAKING OF VRISKA, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO HER A LOT LATELY.
SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THE EVENT, AND NOW THAT I'M THERE WE HAVE A FEW THREADS TOGETHER.
APPARENTLY THERE AREN'T A LOT OF PEOPLE FROM HOME THERE
JUST HER, KANAYA, ROSE, AND JOHN.
SO I'M HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA AND JOHN RIGHT NOW.
I HAVEN'T SEEN KANAYA OR ROSE YET.

DIRK SAID YOU DON'T PAY THEM FOR THE SEX
YOU PAY THEM SO YOU CAN LEAVE AFTERWARD.
I DON'T THINK IT MAKES ANY SENSE THOUGH.
THAT GUY WOULDN'T PAIL WITH HIM IF DIRK WEREN'T PAYING HIM.
AND THEN DIRK SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HOW CRUEL IT WOULD BE TO HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH SOMEONE
BECAUSE THEY'D ONLY GET TO HAVE the Strider experience ONCE, AND THEN NEVER AGAIN.
THAT IS SUCH A COLOSSAL LOAD OF SHIT, AND I TOLD HIM SO.
BUT AS FAR AS I CAN TELL WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS THAT HE'S PAYING SOMEONE SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO PAIL WITH SOMEONE YOU DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

trust me
at this point in time dirk isnt interested in anything serious
with the prostitution he might be in for the casual
seems like he can do that!

she is a very composed lady
at least until you get her gushing a bit
shes absolutely adorbs then
told her all about human weddings and it was just so cute
i swear im gonna make that girl part of the lalonde family
i want to see her and rosie being classy ladies in wedding dresses
but yeah i kind of had to prompt it

oooo yeah!
the mun wanted to throw me into that too
nothing like hanging with peeps
gonna get her to go check it out now

thats one way to look at it
and yeah hes kind of bsing there
hormones are kind of a bitch
esp when u grew up in the future without any options
all outlets r literally u
and no one else
for anything physical
i guess it may just be a human thing
some humans would only do that sort of thing with someone theyre in a relationship with
but if the movies are to be believed
and jane says they are
there are people who want to get off
so its not just like dirk and i want to compensate for all the years of nothing
just a human thing
i mean it feels really nice
its enjoyable
and it can be pretty safe as long as ppl arent dumbasses

[malignantrage]

I KNOW HE ISN'T INTERESTED IN ANYTHING SERIOUS.
THAT MUCH IS OBVIOUS.
I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S STILL TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH JAKE.
HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT IT
BUT YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE ACTS.
SO I GET THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH ANYONE ELSE
BUT THEN WHY GET INVOLVED WITH THEM PHYSICALLY?
IT SEEMS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE TO ME.
OR AT THE VERY LEAST, MEANINGLESS.
OKAY, I CAN'T SAY THAT IT WOULD INTERFERE WITH HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JAKE
BUT WHAT PURPOSE WOULD IT SERVE?

MAYBE I JUST DON'T GET IT BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER DO.
THE VERY IDEA OF PAILING WITH A STRANGER MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.
I'D NEED TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE BEFORE I'D EVEN CONSIDER THAT.
I GUESS, BECAUSE OF MY BLOOD, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CAUTIOUS ABOUT WHO I GET CLOSE TO.
IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER THAT I'M A MUTANT HERE
BUT I'D STILL FEEL BETTER KNOWING I WAS WITH SOMEONE THAT I CARED FOR AND KNEW I COULD TRUST.
SO I'LL PROBABLY NEVER DO THE PAILING WITH STRANGERS THING.

AND I'M NOT TRYING TO BE JUDGEMENTAL
OR TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO WITH HIS LIFE.
I JUST DON'T GET IT.
THAT SORT OF CONCUPISCENT ACTIVITY ISN'T AT ALL APPEALING TO ME.

AND I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AT THE FOURTH WALL THING?
SORRY IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO GET BACK TO YOU.
THE MUN HAS A LOT ON HIS HANDS AT THE MOMENT.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

ur getting good at readin dirk
congrats!
hes got a lot always goin in his head
i dont think he could talk about it all even if he was inclined to
very careful and stoick sort
as for why dirk would do it personally
instead of just being a human thing
couldnt say for sure but i can make a guess
dirk didnt get contact until he was in the game
at least i had carapacians
who for all their alienness
are still sentient beings
dirk had a super tiny horse, seagulls, and fish if he was gonna touch anything living
there doesnt need to be a purpose to want human touch
to feel warmth and life and proof ur not alone
and hell for all the kinds of human touches there are
sex would get a lot of touch but not making it obvious thats what someone wants
cuddling touching hugging
a lot of that is 'please let me have this warmth'
but sex you can get it and funny enough you dont have to be as vulnerable

nothing wrong with having that preference
lots of humans arent all for jumping on the sex train either
its a personal choice
ur body
ur decisions
even if the mutant thing is a sad reason ):
still wanting the trust and care is pretty legit tho
very sweet and romantic

thats also legit
understanding why people are certain ways can be hard anyway

its cool!
we can hang out in backtag land
not like our muns havent proven they can backtag into infinity
man ive been talking to dirk for like a month and a half
its great

[malignantrage]

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
I USUALLY CAN'T TELL WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HIM.
I AM AN EXPERT AT ROMANCE THOUGH
AND HE'S BEEN PRETTY OBVIOUS ABOUT IT.
MAYBE IF HE HADN'T TRIED TO TELL ME NOT TO DATE JOHN I WOULDN'T HAVE FIGURED IT OUT
BUT HE PRETTY MUCH OUTED HIMSELF BY COMPARING JOHN TO JAKE.
SURE, THEY'RE BOTH A COUPLE OF FLAKES, BUT THEY'RE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
JUST BECAUSE HE HAD SOME RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS WITH JAKE DOESN'T MEAN JOHN IS GOING TO DUMP ME.
I MEAN, I GET WHY HE WOULD THINK THAT, BECAUSE I TOLD HIM THAT JOHN SAID HE WASN'T A HOMOSEXUAL
AND I KNOW THAT'S A BIG HANGUP FOR DIRK
THE HOMOSEXUAL THING.
BUT JOHN SAID THAT YEARS AGO
HE BARELY EVEN KNEW ME AT THE TIME AND HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND MY CULTURE.
I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY THAT ALL PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THEIR MINDS ABOUT IT
BUT MAYBE SOME CAN?

AND I GUESS IT'S PRETTY SAD THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE AROUND.
I NEVER HAD A WHOLE LOT OF FRIENDS EITHER
NOT IN PERSON ANYWAY, NOT UNTIL WE ENTERED THE GAME.
BEFORE THAT I JUST MESSAGED THEM THROUGH TROLLIAN.
BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS MY LUSUS.
SO I WAS NEVER REALLY ALONE.
YOU KEEP SAYING human touch, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S A THING FOR TROLLS TOO.
WE'RE NOT THE MOST FRIENDLY RACE, BUT WE STILL NEED TO TOUCH PEOPLE.
AND THERE ARE SOME TROLLS WHO ARE PROMISCUOUS TOO
SO I DON'T THINK IT'S JUST A HUMAN THING.
I PROBABLY NEED IT AS BADLY AS HE DOES
I JUST HAVE DIFFERENT STANDARDS.

I KNOW.
IT'S WEIRD, BUT DIRK SEEMS A LOT CALMER AFTER HE'S BEEN TALKING TO YOU.
SO GOOD JOB.
YOU'RE ALREADY SHAPING UP TO BE A PRETTY DECENT MOIRAIL.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

well even sometimes after a short while is still pretty good
even i have trouble sometimes and i grew up with the dude
and was around a species that communicated more in body language than words
amazing what shit you can tell by how a person holds their shoulders
dirk was probably protecting some yeah
and people can change their minds!
at least accordin to the movies
and sociology books
theres a heternomative norm thing where everyone assumes straight until proven otherwise
if the opportunity never came up for john to explore his sexuality then there might be other inclinations he don't know about
tho i will say this
be careful if you become johns adventure into homosexuality
if hes not sure it could turn out hes really not into it
humans are kind of stupid with their sexuality when they grew up around people
weirdest thing
still john seems like he wouldnt lead u on or nothin
pretty brave dude
so if its going well then u ride that windy boy without fear

saddest thing
heh yeah you got me there
its kind of amazing how many similarities there are between humans and trolls
biology and mental processes wise
trolls are closer to humans than carapacians are anyway
of course there are some differences
but from being from completely different galaxies
the ways theyre the same is pretty fascinating
ngl though
being able to touch another human
just having the option is kind of intoxicating at times
there was so long where it wasnt an option
though troll touches are pretty good too
u should get more hugs tho
if you grew up like that
defs need more hugs

oh
well
huh
what can i say
i
kind of need to make up for lost time
i wasnt doing him as much good as i should have been
dont want to do that to him again
im happy its helping

[malignantrage]

HE SEEMED PRETTY SURE AT THE TIME.
BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD BACK FROM HIM IN AWHILE, SO I GUESS THAT'S OVER NOW.
IT WAS NICE WHILE IT LASTED THOUGH
AND I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING.
I STILL DON'T GET WHY IT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR HUMANS.
PEOPLE SHOULD RESPECT EACH OTHER PEOPLE'S PREFERENCES.
TELLING SOMEONE WHO THEY SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T BE ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN IS OBNOXIOUS
NO MATTER WHO IS DOING IT OR WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.
I GUESS IT'S JUST THAT TROLLS CAN'T AFFORD TO BE THAT PICKY.
IF WE DON'T MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO THE FILIAL PAIL WE'RE DEAD.
BUT HUMAN REPRODUCTION IS WEIRD AND ONLY CERTAIN COUPLES CAN REPRODUCE
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SURVIVED AS A SPECIES WITH SUCH LIMITED REPRODUCTIVE ABILITIES.
NOT TO MENTION THE WEIRD THING YOU HAVE AGAINST INCEST.
BUT I GUESS IT IS SORT OF AN ADVANTAGE THAT YOU CAN REPRODUCE WITHOUT A MOTHER GRUB.
WE'RE PROBABLY DOOMED AS A RACE UNLESS WE CAN FIND ANOTHER MATRIORB.

I DON'T NEED HUGS.
I'M JUST FINE.
TOUCHING PEOPLE IS GREAT, BUT IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING FOR ME.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S JUST A HUG OR SOMETHING MORE THAN THAT
I'M NOT GOING TO GO AROUND TOUCHING A BUNCH OF STRANGERS FOR NO REASON.

REALLY?
THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE.
BECAUSE FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN YOU'RE DOING HIM A LOT OF GOOD.
MAYBE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR HISTORY IS LIKE
BUT WEREN'T YOU ALWAYS HIS FRIEND?
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO HAVE FRIENDS
ESPECIALLY IF YOU GREW UP ALONE.
MY FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME
SO I THINK HE'D FEEL THE SAME WAY.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

awwww
sorry to hear that
glad he was sure and sorry it didnt last longer
but good to not have regrets!
nothing wrong with enjoying sometimes nice while it lasted
mgggggh
yeah
that respecting others preferences things
sometimes feelings make people REALLY STUPID
its not cool
but...
yeah it happens and its a stupid thing
humans can be pretty stupid
though yeah we dont have to worry about the pails
humans used to have an incest thing!
like a lot of ancient societies did it all the time
but eventually too much is bad for us
the genetics get mutations
some really bad ones that make it harder for the human to survive
need new genes to prevent that
and we might be limited
but as long as we got a male and a female then we can reproduce anywhere
all independent baby making instead of big batch
we also only needed to populate a single planet instead of all over a bunch of galaxies
makes it easier

you guys arent doomed though
your condesce is actually keeping me alive for that reason
i can make a matriorb
eventually
right now i just have a hellish combo of matriorb and generic object
but ive only been going at it a few hours
like hell im not gonna do it
its a CHALLENGE now
and i will conquer it

what about friends
can friends hug you
ngl i would love to hug you
ur really nice despite what the capslock might lead people to believe
and kind of adorable

i knew dirks relationship with jake was gonna crash
should have warned him or prepared him for it
plus i did a whole lot of uncool stuff before that
because i was a drunk idiot
i know we wouldnt have made it thru what we did alone
but sometimes i think i was doing him just as much harm as good
even while i was doing the supportive understanding what its like thing
i was doing things that probably messed with his head a lot
i dont want to do that anymore
even if it might be unpleasant
i want us to get through this last stretch in one piece
i want him to be happy without regrets when we make it past the finish line

[malignantrage]

IT'S OKAY.
LIKE I SAID, IT WAS NICE WHILE IT LASTED.
IF NOTHING ELSE, I GOT TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE WITH HIM
AND I'M PRETTY SURE HE ISN'T THE ONLY JOHN OUT THERE WHO MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ME.
IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT.
EVEN IF I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS WITH THEM.
AT LEAST I KNOW NOT ALL OF THEM WILL REJECT ME.

AS STUPID AS HUMANS CAN BE ABOUT RESPECTING OTHER POEPLE'S PREFERENCES I DON'T THINK TROLLS ARE ANY BETTER.
AFTER ALL, THE HEMOSPECTRUM IS A THING.
WE ALL HAVE WAYS IN WHICH WE'RE DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS
AND SOME PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ASSHOLES ABOUT IT.
IT'S JUST THE WAY THINGS ARE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN MAKE A MATRIORB.
IT ISN'T A THING THAT CAN BE MADE.
YOU JUST SORT OF PULL IT OUT OF THE MOTHER GRUB OR SOMETHING.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
PULL ONE OUT OF THIN AIR?

MAYBE SOME FRIENDS.
I WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU HUGGED ME.
YOU CAN IF YOU WANT.
AND I'M NOT ADORABLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO HIM
BUT I DON'T THINK HE HOLDS IT AGINST YOU.
HE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY DECENT IN SOME WAYS
ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM.
HE DOESN'T GET ANGRY AT PEOPLE OFTEN
AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES HE DOESN'T SEEM TO HOLD A GRUDGE.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT HE CARES ABOUT YOU A LOT
AND I THINK I CAN SEE WHY.
YOU'RE A REALLY CARING PERSON.
IT'D BE DIFFICULT NOT TO LIKE YOU.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

thats the spirit
and considering the shipping
thered def be some other johns out there *wonk*

the terrible thing of the 'other' mentality
always gotta have someone different from ya to be a jerk at
i guess its both a troll and human thing
which is kind of depressing
wonder how universal that is

that is pretty much exactly what i am doin
i am pulling it out of thin fucking air
im a rogue of void and that means i can steal the nothingness from a concept apparently
i can literally make anything
just
u kno
need practice at it
hell i just need to get it close to what its actually supposed to be
already have practice in making mutations into healthy and fertile beings the hard way
which probably wasn't a good thing i could not take care of all those meowcats
i am pretty much the perfect person for this job i actually get the genetics
bet i could do it perfectly if i could just get some basic troll biology facts

FYEAH
gonna hug you the first chance i get then
course not
just kinda

its not so much the anger as the disappointment
i dont think he could hate me
mb be mad but hed forgive me way too easily i know
for a while i was kind of a hot mess
utterly shameful and a lame loser
some of which got directed at dirk
a lot of it actually
which could have pissed him off
kind of worried if he wasnt
bc then it might have been fucking with his head
when ur the last two humans on earth
that other person is gonna have a lot of impact on u
i know how much i didnt want to let him down or disappoint him
so i hate what i might have done to his head by making unfair demands
im better now
i realized how much of a fuck up i was
and trying really hard to not be that again
sober roxy leaves a faaaaar better impression on ppl
n be a better friend and moirail that dirk deserves

[malignantrage]

I'M GUESSING IT'S PRETTY UNIVERSAL.
PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES BECAUSE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM THEM
I DON'T EVEN THINK IT'S THE DIFFERENCES THEMSELVES THAT MATTER.
IT'S JUST THAT SOME PEOPLE VIEW THOSE DIFFERENCES AS A THREAT AND THROW A FIT OVER IT.
SO AS LONG AS THERE ARE MISUNDERSTANDINGS IT WILL PROBABLY KEEP HAPPENING.

I WAS USING HUMAN SARCASM WHEN I SAID THAT.
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SAYING YOU CAN PULL IT OUT OF THIN AIR?
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
CAN YOU STEAL NOTHINGNESS FROM A CONCEPT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF?
WELL, OKAY.
I GUESS YOU'VE HEARD OF IT.
BUT KNOWING SOMETHING AND KNOWING ABOUT SOMETHING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND VOID POWERS ANYWAY.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE GUY IN OUR GROUP WHO HAD THEM AND HE WAS A CREEPY ASSHOLE.
BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK ON IT IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING.

OKAY, JUST
FUCK.
JUST WARN ME BEFORE YOU DO, OKAY?
DON'T JUMP ME ALL OF A SUDDEN.

I WOULDN'T BLAME YOU FOR BEING DESPERATE.
BEING ONE OF ONLY TWO PEOPLE ON THE PLANET CAN GET PRETTY LONELY.
SOMETIMES EVEN IF SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE AROUND YOU CAN STILL FEEL ALONE
ESPECIALLY IF NO ONE'S PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU.
I KNOW THERE WERE TIMES ON THE METEOR WHEN I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I HAD ANYONE TO TALK TO BESIDES MYSELF.
BUT IT TURNS OUT I'M AN ASSHOLE
SO TALKING TO MYSELF ISN'T A GOOD IDEA.
I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GOING TO STEER CLEAR OF THAT IN THE FUTURE
OR AT LEAST I'LL TRY.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE REALLY BADLY YOU AREN'T ALWAYS A GREAT PERSON TO BE AROUND.
I DEFINITELY THINK A PERSON CAN BE TOO NEEDY
AND MAYBE DURING THOSE TIMES YOU NEED TO FIND A WAY TO STOP BEING SO NEEDY
SO YOU CAN BE THERE FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
IT ISN'T AN EASY THING TO DO THOUGH.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

yeah probably
which is depressing
ugh stupid ppl and their stupid misunderstandings
and fear of the different

i know
but totes one hundred percent srs face
been making pumpkins and cubes pretty reliably
i think understanding it does help
it might be part of why i can only get part of the matriorb
like jade explained it a little bit
and i kind of guessed at the rest based upon what the batterwitch had been doing with humans and their reproduction
wasnt hard to guess it was how trolls usually reproduced
but im not all gung ho about getting it done with her around anyway
i can perfect it when i catch up with you guys
esp kanaya
bet kanaya can tell me all the stuff i need
i still like equius
kind of an awkward sweetie
he probably couldnt have done it though
part of it is being a rogue class
gotta combine the elements
blackout and shit sounds like the void stuff
but the stealing nothingness is all being the rogue of void
its my class special ability besides just extending the blackout everyfuckingwhere
rly tho
keep on that hope
well get u guys a new matriorb yet

awwwww but sometimes its fun to surprise ppl
all right tho
will give you all the proper warning before we go to hugtown

i was desperate
and it was lonely
the carapacians did their best they really did
but they were just too alien i guess
they couldnt get rid of that feeling of loneliness
ngl sometimes i did think about using that memo feature on trollian
after seeing dirk and lil hal tho
seemed like a better idea to not chance it
mostly i drank to deal with everything
which in turn made me the needy asshole who missed way too much
i guess the best way to put it was i needed a prompt to try and help a problem?
or id get obsessive and focus on one problem i knew about
still wonder if that was the best i was way too jokey as a drunk
i dont think anyone thought i was very srs
which is reasonable as i was drunk off my ass
everyone needs attention and someone to talk to
another person
all evidence points to people talking to themselves about their issues just turns into terrible downward spirals
do you have anyone to talk to now at least
if you dont u can talk to me
i mean if u can contact me
the uncertainty of metaspace
but i can try

[malignantrage]

I AGREE WITH YOU.
PEOPLE ARE REALLY STUPID SOMETIMES.
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO DIFFERENCES.

SO YOU'VE ACTUALLY MADE PUMPKINS AND CUBES APPEAR OUT OF THING AIR?
NORMALLY, I'D FIND THAT A LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO LIE TO ME
AND YOU SEEM PRETTY TRUSTWORTHY
SO I BELIEVE YOU.
HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU MAKE A MATRIORB?
I'M SURE KANAYA WOULD BE MORE HELP THAN MAKING CUBES.
SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT IT THAN ANYONE.

YOU THINK EQUIUS IS SWEET?
WELL YOU DIDN'T SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN KANAYA SAWED TAVROS'S LEGS OFF.
IT WAS THE EPITOME OF CREEPINESS.
ALSO HE USED TO GET OFF ON MY ORDERS
ALL THE TIME.
IT WAS SO GROSS.

THANK YOU.
THE WARNING WILL BE APPRCIATED.

THE CARAPACIANS ARE PRETTY NICE
IF THE MAYOR IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
HE WAS ALWAYS A STEADFAST FRIEND.
IF THE PEOPLE I KNOW ARE ANY EXAMPLE THEN CONSUMING LARGE AMOUNTS OF SOPORIFICS IS NO WAY TO DEAL WITH A PROBLEM.
GAMZEE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THEM FOR A LONG TIME AND I THINK ROSE DID TOO.
I DON'T THINK HERS WAS ANYWHERE AS BAD AS GAMZEE'S, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM YOU HAVE TO FACE IT
AND WORK IT OUT I GUESS
IF YOU CAN.
HIDING FROM IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.
AND TALKING TO YOURSELF PROBABLY ISN'T A GOOD IDEA EITHER.
I GUESS IT'S BETTER TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE
BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME DOING THAT SOMETIMES.
NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME
AND EVEN WHEN THEY DO I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS.
BUT I GUESS I CAN TALK TO YOU.
I'M TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW, AREN'T I?
THERE ISN'T ANYTHING SPECIFIC I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH AT THE MOMENT THOUGH.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

yep!
a fuckton of them actually
the cubes and pumpkins are easy mode for void players
the cubes are supposed to be generic and i guess some sort of building block of the universe
somehow
pumpkins are just really iffy on their place in space time
for some reason i never got but hey it meant i could always get them for food so w/e
still its letting me get used to the whole thing
after a pep talk from john i started to get some horrible combo of orb and generic cube
like
i really hope that isnt viable for hatching
it would be horrifying whatever came out
but half an orb is still half an orb that didnt exist
if i can get in contact with kanaya i can get the other half i bet
if nothing else shes better motivation than the condesce guilt tripping me
its horrible karkat
when u can save an entire race
but u also give them to a lady for her to enslave
much rather give the orb to the nice jade blood macking on my ecto-mom-daughter

he does have some disturbing behaviors yeah
he kind of tried to kill me once
we had a talk about horrible addictions
but the other times he was pretty sweet
very concerned about not hurting me
n tbh a submission kink isnt the worst thing to have

ur welcome

they are super nice
just kind of
strange in how they think
its the weirdest thing because they raised me and then it felt like i was taking care of them
like no point where we could just be peers
yeah no
booze is not the way to deal with ANYTHING
rose wasnt too bad
at least the times i saw her she didnt look like the total wreck i was
she could have ended up that way so hopefully she stopped
shes got a genetic predisposition for it
addiction is still the worst thing
it really doesnt solve anything
just delays it
or makes it worse if its a problem behavior
not sure i would have lasted as long as i did without fefeta
like all my friends had problems
but fefeta was so chill
sure horrible stuff happened to her but it was kind of irrelevant while she was a sprite
so shed listen and just talk to me about all those romance shenanigans and the cool stuff she did as two troll ladies
if i was tempted i could just go talk to her
and wed talk about her shipping wall or cuttlefish
it was nice
sometimes you dont have to actually talk about the problem
just talking about something random is nice
might be a kind of running away i guess
but sometimes its nice to be distracted so it feels like you can breathe
always good to not have troubles right now
hopefully that keeps going
ill be here to listen about whatever
problems past and present or random things

[malignantrage]

I KNOW ABOUT THE CUBES.
WE MADE A BUNCH OF THEM WHILE WE WERE MESSING WEITH THE ALCHEMY SYSTEM.
THEY SEEM PRETTY USELESS THOUGH.
JOHN DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MATRIORB
SO I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT HE WASN'T VERY HELPFUL.
KANAYA WOULD BE BETTER AT DESCRIBING IT AND HELPING YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING APPEAR OUT OF THIN AIR THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF IT'S COMPOSITION AND HOW IT WORKS
NOT JUST WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

OH GOD
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE SUBMISSION KINK.
MAYBE IT'S NOT THE WORST THING
BUT IT STILL SEEMS PRETTY WEIRD TO ME.

SO I TAKE IT YOU DIDN'T HAVE A LUSUS?
OR WHATEVER HUMANS CALL THEIR FAMILIAL GUARDIANS
PARENTS, I GUESS?
IT MUST BE WEIRD BEING RAISED BY CARAPACIANS.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE HUMAN SOPORIFICS MADE HER MORE LIVELY
BUT I NEVER REALY KNEW ROSE THAT WELL.
SHE AND KANAYA WERE TOO BUSY SPENDING TIME TOGETHER TO DO MUCH WITH ANYONE ELSE.
WHO WAS FEFETA?
SHE SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO'S INTO BOTH SHIPPING WALLS AND CUTTLEFISH THOUGH.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE I USED TO KNOW ACTUALLY
BUT THEY'RE BOTH DEAD.
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM TO TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW
BUT I LIKE TALKING TO YOU ANYWAY.
WE CAN KEEP TALKING AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

we just made clothes mostly
clothes and weapons
and the cubes arent useless
they made a kickass fort
had my void pyramid of serenity
hey he did help some
got my confidence up
and gave me an info dump about a bunch of stuff i might need to know
got the belief in my ability
now i just need the knowledge from kanaya
and well be golden
pretty sure thats all im missing now
knowing its composition stuff

lol
eh i can see the pros to it
as well as the dominance kink *wonk*

i had a mom
like dirk had a bro
just mom and dirks bro were around jane and jakes time
while dirk and i were centuries in the future from em
she died before i got to meet her
but the stuff mom and dirks bro did is what allowed us to stay alive on waterworld
they left us all the supplies we needed and a home to grow up in
considering the time difference she wasnt a half bad mom
luckily she was full of all sorts of majyyks and could see the future or something like that
carapacians picked up the slack for her in regards to me tho
and yeah it is weird
probs good i figured out how to work the dvd player early i dont think i would have learned to talk otherwise
just be flailing about in that way they do to communicate things
not to mention it took forever for me to figure out why i was all pink and soft and had hair

yyyyyeah thats the thing about booze
it can make a person seem all happy and like the world is awesome
so people dont want to be a wet blanket and point out theres a problem
but there is
excessive booze intake is a sign of a problem
sure nothing wrong with a drink now and then
but all the time?
nuh uh someones running then
not to mention it does cause problems
if u werent around her a lot you might not notice
kanaya probs did
booze makes people crazy stupid and inconsiderate

that would be them
nepeta and feferi
a juggalo threw their corpses into my kernelsprite
fucking clown
equius is in dirks
eridan and sollux went into jakes
dont know whose was in janes that one exploded like right away
fefeta was the name my sprite went with
sweet precious fefeta was so awesome

i like talking 2 u 2
im all up for talkin for a while longer

[malignantrage]

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE CLOTHES?
NONE OF US DID THAT
EXCEPT MAYBE KANAYA.
TROLLS DON'T USUALLY CARE ABOUT FASHION
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW WHO DOES.

OKAY, SO MAYBE THE CUBES AREN'T COMPLETELY USELESS.
I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO MESS WITH THEM.

I STILL THINK IT'S GROSS.
THE ONLY REASON HE LIKES IT IS BECAUSE OF HIS STUPID SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
AND THE FACT THAT HE THINKS IT'S SCANDALOUS WHEN PEOPLE GO AGAINST IT.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ANCESTORS TO ME.
USUALLY THEY ARE FROM CENTURIES IN THE FUTURE AND THEY DIE BEFORE YOU MEET THEM.
ALL TROLLS HAVE ONE, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HUMANS DID.
THEY USUALLY DON'T MAKE OUR HIVES THOUGH.
WE DO THAT OURSELVES WHEN WE'RE KIDS.

I GUESS I NEVER KNEW HER WELL ENOUGH TO TELL THAT THERE WAS A PROBLEM.
KANAYA PROBABLY WOULD'VE NOTICED IT BEFORE ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOPORIFICS THAT WELL
SINCE I'VE NEVER CONSUMED ANY MYSELF.
I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU'D WANT TO.

SHIT, THAT MUST BE GAMZEE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'D THROW TWO CORPSES INTO THE SAME KERNEL
BUT WHO KNOWS WHY HE DOES ANYTHING?
HOW DID HE EVEN GET INTO YOUR SESSION?
MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES.
MORE LIKE MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT IF YOU ASK ME.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

humans do
we like fashion
and i wanted clothes that i didnt get from a box
think dirk did too
j and j were just alone for the ride
(though janey liked hers too)
i still dont know how we kept talking jake into shortening his shorts

we should hang out and i can show you how to make a kick ass fort
dont tell me that wouldnt be boss

eh maybe
its never bothered me much
kind of funny actually

yeah pretty much
we had less families and more ancestors
some weird combo of the two
since our ancestors were very concerned with us existing and doing all right
would have preferred just family

occasional consumption can be fun and help to unwind
to do it regularly is not so good
could be lots of reasons
but the end result is someone is not dealing with shit well
dont matter how theyre acting while under it
its a liiiiiie
kanaya probs did

yeah i think it is
i mean most everyone knows hes the purple clown
huh i just realized that i never got his name in all our meme interactions
he was just alwyas the juggalo or the clown
still no goddamn clue why he threw the corpses into the sprites
but apparently theres a bunch of mindfuckery going on
serious voices
and i think hes in because caliborn/lord english
or serket
one or the other
or both

[malignantrage]

HUMANS SURE ARE WEIRD.
YOU GET PREOCCUPIED WITH THE DUMBEST THINGS SOMETIMES.
BUT AS LONG AS YOU STILL GET STUFF DONE I GUESS IT ISN'T SO BAD.

I'D LIKE THAT.
I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO BUILD FORTS BEFORE, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT FAMILIES.
IN ADDITION TO KANKRI I NOW HAVE TWO STRIDERS TO PUT UP WITH.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M GLAD DAVE SHOWED UP.
IT'S NICE TO SEE MY BEST BRO AGAIN.
BUT I CAN'T COMPETE WITH DIRK.
HE GETS MOST OF DAVE'S ATTENTION.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT CASUAL CONSUMPTION
BUT IF HUMAN SOPORIFICS ARE ANYTHING LIKE TROLL ONES THEN TOO MUCH IS DEFINITELY BAD.
I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH OF AN EFFECT IT HAD ON GAMZEE UNTIL HE DIDN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT.
I GUESS I JUST FELT SORT OF GUILTY
LIKE IF I WERE REALLY A GOOD FRIEND I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO PREVENT HIM FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END.
NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S GONE THROUGH SINCE HE BROKE UP WITH ME
BUT I CAN'T STAND BY AND WATCH HIM HURT TEREZI.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

motto of my life
so long as shit gets done
who cares what ya do while getting it done
and its not like we had much else to do but kill time

then its going on the list!
hugs and fort building

tbh dirk is probably going for that attention
hes been pretty excited to meet dave for a while
give em some time and hopefully hell distract dave less
oooooor get obsessive
tell me if he gets obsessive
needs to let dave talk to his bros eventually

most people do casual
like once a week or months or even longer periods of time
basically its not a daily thing in large amounts
that may or may not be all day
from what ive gotten from gamzee its pretty much all the same bad shit
rots ur brain
tho here is one thing from a former addict
do not blame urself about another persons deeds
its just ur responsibility to get his shit together
he needs to want his shit together
but if that juggalo is like the juggalo im getting to know
hed want u to help terezi
in his heart of hearts

[malignantrage]

SOUNDS GOOD.
WHEN AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?

DIRK ISN'T BEING OBSESSIVE
OR AT LEAST, I DON'T THINK HE IS.
DAVE STILL SPENDS TIME WITH ME SO I CAN'T COMPLAIN.
HE KEPT HIS WORD AND HE'S BEEN A TRUE BRO.
IT'S JUST THAT WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER I FEEL LEFT OUT SOMETIMES
BECAUSE THEY'RE SO CLOSE.
I SORT OF UNDERSTAND THOUGH.
RELATIVES CAN BE OVERWHELMING SOMETIMES
WHETHER IT'S AN ANCESTOR OR A HUMAN FAMILY MEMBER.
KANKRI WAS REALLY OVERWHELMING TOO
THOUGH NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
I'M PRETTY SURE DAVE IDOLIZES THE SHIT OUT OF DIRK.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY ANCESTOR COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT.

SEE, CONSUMING SOPOR SLIME ISN'T EVEN A THING MOST TROLLS DO.
WE KNOW NOT TO EAT THAT SHIT
OR AT LEAST, EVERYONE BUT GAMZEE DID.
SO I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF THERE'S A HEALTHY LEVEL TO INGEST
OR WHAT THAT LEVEL MIGHT BE.
I JUST SLEEP IN IT.
I DON'T EAT IT.
AND ANYWAY I TRIED.
I MAY HAVE BEEN AN AWFUL MOIRAIL, BUT HE WASN'T SO GREAT EITHER.
IT'S PROBABLY WEIRD, BUT I LIKE OLDER GAMZEE BETTER.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH CURRENT GAMZEE.
MAYBE HE DIDN'T MEAN TO DO WHAT HE DID
BUT I'M GETTING REALLY SICK OF HIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.
I'M NOT SAYING I'D KILL HIM OR ANYTHING
BUT I THINK HE DESERVES A GOOD SMACKDOWN.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

well theres meme land
or musebox land
or just go 'and then we were there in person' instead of text land here

good
he learned his lesson if thats true
or is better
either way is good
family is a good connection
pretty vital for humans psychologically
family love is one of those ones need pretty badly
hopefully its not too idolizing
but its been a while for dave since he saw his bro right?
and dirk never met his
so theres gonna be some catch up
kind of sad trolls dont get that sort of thing
or maybe u do from lusus?
lusus is probably closer than ancestors

tbf
alcohol is a poison too
humans have this habit of drinking and eating and smoking shit we really shouldnt
yeah i know this will kill me eventually
but it wont now
so WHY THE FUCK NOT
humans are some yolo motherfuckers
good thing trolls dont do taht so much
a good smackdown will help
i think
at least it raises the chances for him to realize shit is fucked up
get him thinking
so he can be like older gamzee

[malignantrage]

OKAY, EITHER WAY SOUNDS FINE.
THE 'AND THEN WE WERE THERE IN PERSON' THING MIGHT BE BETTER THOUGH.
BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THE MUN IS GOING TO BE TOO LAZY TO PUT ANYTHING ELSE UP FOR AWHILE.
I JUST GOT INTO A GAME, SO I'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY.
I HAVE ALL THESE TAGS ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I'M MEETING ALL KINDS OF NEW PEOPLE
AND TALKING TO SOME OLD FRIENDS.
IT'S KIND OF NICE.

I DON'T THINK DIRK FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT DAVE AS HE DOES ABOUT JAKE.
ALTHOUGH I CAN'T BE SURE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMAN BROTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE
SO I WOULDN'T KNOW IF THEY WERE CROSSING INTO RED TERRITORY OR NOT
BUT IT SEEMS PRETTY PLATONIC TO ME FOR THE MOST PART.
SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT DIRK'S ROMANTIC OBSESSIONS PROBABLY DON'T APPLY.

A LUSUS IS A GUARDIAN.
THEY'RE MORE LIKE HUMAN PARENTS THAN HUMAN BROTHERS AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.
THOUGH DIRK REFERS TO ME AND KANKRI AS "THE VANTAS BROTHERS" SOMETIMES.
SO I GUESS KANKRI IS AS CLOSE TO A HUMAN BROTHER AS I'LL EVER HAVE.

TROLLS DO PLENTY OF STUPID AND DESTRUCTIVE SHIT TOO.
IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE MORE LIKELY TO DO VIOLENT THINGS THAN CONSUME POISONS.
FLARPING CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS.
A LOT OF TROLLS DIE PLAYING IT.
BUT NO ONE CARES.
THEY KEEP PLAYING IT ANYWAY, BECAUSE THEY THINK IT'S "FUN".

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

there is something to the and suddenly in person thing
can totes understand the new game thing
got into a game and be runnin all over
esp since i was declared team leader
by everyone using their logic on me
i cant help i am a strong independent woman
who wants to see all the new shiny things like grass
so i run around everywhere doin shit
but p nice
if lacking friends
tavros is there tho
hes legit

oh noooo
defs not
...
i think
i mean i guess i wouldnt be totes surprised
but i dont think its a thing yet
anyway its not so much the romantic obsession as just
wanting affection
sort of thing
platonic or romantic affection
good if hes not obsessing

probs
theres some equal footing with bros
parents are above and protective
plus sibs are more likely to drive each other cray cray

yyyyeah flarping does sound pretty stupid
thats probably close to the whole drug culture
though the drugs can have lasting affects
sides death
a whooole bunch of diseases and shit

[malignantrage]

I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY HAVE TEAMS WHERE I WENT.
IT'S A NICE ENOUGH PLACE, BUT VRISKA IS SUCH A BITCH SOMETIMES.
I GUESS I UNDERSTAND THOUGH.
SHE WAS ALWAYS REALLY INDEPENDENT AND IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE WE WERE A TEAM.
IT STILL PISSES ME OFF WHEN SHE IGNORES MY ORDERS THOUGH.
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THERE.
THERE'S JOHN, KANAYA, AND ROSE I GUESS.
THOUGH I STILL HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER YET.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT ROMANCE CAN BE A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.
DIRK AND DAVE DON'T SEEM VERY COMPLICATED TO ME.
SO EVEN IF THEY ARE FUCKING, WHICH I WOULDN'T PUT PAST EITHER OF THEM, IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T MATTER.
DIRK ISN'T ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE OVER DAVE LIKE HE IS WITH JAKE.
DAVE SEEMS SORT OF INTO DIRK, BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT I WOULD CONSIDER OBSESSIVE
AND THEY'RE BOTH STILL INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE
SO THERE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T ANYTHING ROMANTIC GOING ON THERE.
I THINK THE STRONGER YOUR FEELINGS ARE FOR SOMEONE THE MORE DIFFICULT IT CAN BE TO EXPRESS THEM SOMETIMES
YOU WANT THINGS AND YOU HAVE EXPECTATIONS AND YOU GET DISAPPOINTED WHEN PEOPLE LET YOU DOWN.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME.

ANYWAY, I AM GOING TO STOP TYPING ON THIS COMPUTER AND MAGICALLY APPEAR WHEREVER YOU ARE.

[Magical whooshing sound.]

Hi.