Mun's wanting to...

[easy_a]

Ahahahaha, no.

Wot makes you think I want to go to a game? Because whatever train of thought you're trying to reason that with is retarded. You don't even have a place in mind and you're still wanting to stick me somewhere.

Okay, I get it. You think it'll be fun. Look. Maybe you're okay with the whole, "Oh, let's mess around with everybody's heads and see wot happens, uuuegh," thing, but I'm not. Wot's more, I'm not going to do it, and you'd be daft to think that I'll go ahead with this rubbish. It's bullshit. 'Sides, if you don't even know where to start at all, maybe you shouldn't bother looking in the first place, yeah?


...Are you even listening to me?

Comments

[tripled]

Now you're gettin' it! There's a special bond formed when you see another man touching his cock. I guess you ladies wouldn't understand true male bonding.

What? No... No! He loves 'em! It's just good-natured ribbing between mates! I mean, come on! Melon fucker! Who wouldn't laugh?

It's like you're completely forgetting the time we teamed up to defeat that cute psycho girl, you know, the one that wasn't really psycho after all? That was fun, yeah? Good times!

[well who could blame her really]

[easy_a]

He doesn't laugh at it, and he's certainly not amused by you dicking around with him.

[She'd know; she shares headspace with Simon. SURPRISE!]

Can we actually focus on the problem at hand? Like what the fuck I'm supposed to do about my mun?

[tripled]

Dicking around? Dicking around? I'm teaching him how to live!

[fuckin plot twists, man]

Oh, I know. There's no problem that can't be solved by pissing all over everything someone loves!

[easy_a]

Or giving him plenty of reason to doubt his confidence. Leave him alone, alright? He has enough problems as it is.

[They're all over the fucking place. It's like Christmas every day.]

Literally pissing? [She has to ask; it's Nathan. It could be figurative or literal.]

[tripled]

Whatever. I'm the little bastard's role model. I'm just having some fun with him! It's repayment for saving me, oh, I don't know, never?

Yeah, you just wait til they leave, then just a quick unzip, then you piss on their car! It's fucking fool-proof. Just make sure you've got plenty of time, because you know, once you start, it just keeps going.

[He knows from personal experience. Most awkward Mother's Day ever.]

[easy_a]

He tried, alright? It's not like you stayed dead or anything.

[You have nothing to complain about, Nathan. At least you were able to discover your power that way.]

That's disgusting. I'm not going to piss over anything of hers. Wot's more, that's like asking her to get back at me.

[tripled]

Yeah, but I could've. And all of you would've missed me! Remember? You were all like, "oh no! He's dead! What will we do without a stud like that around?" And then I was like, hey now, don't worry about it, I'm fucking immortal. Then we all had a good laugh and some sloppy make outs all around.

Yeah? Well, I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas! And until we have a better plan we're sticking with Plan Piss.

[easy_a]

No one snogged when you came back.

[But they were glad when he did... for some odd, inexplicable reason. Alisha included.]

You can stick with "plan piss". I'm not doing it.

[tripled]

Well, yeah, but you've got to exaggerate a little bit! Keep the people entertained! And if I've got to invent some snogging, then why not?

I'm coming up with some brilliant plans here and you're just ignoring them! Too good for pissing, yeah? What's your plan, then? Come on. I'd love to hear this one.

[easy_a]

Because it never happened.

I don't have one; that's why I asked, but yours is too stupid to use.

[tripled]

Details, details! It could've happened!

Oooh, no, no, you don't have a plan, that means Plan Piss is still on the table!

You know, those games aren't too bad. They've got ones in fucking outer space where you grow wings and have a shag everyday or something. It's a party every day! These people are fucking psycho. Psycho, but brilliant!

[easy_a]

No, it couldn't have.

[Fine. Plan Piss is still on the table. HAPPY NOW? ...Not that she's going to admit it aloud.]

Does it look like I want to go into outer space, grow fucking wings, or shag strangers everyday? Not everyone is shagging material, you know, and I don't like doing it like that anymore.

[tripled]

We're all filled with adrenaline and excitement because I'm alive. Anything can happen! You ladies thought you'd never get the chance to snog me. And then, BAM. Makeouts and dry humping everywhere!

Those are off the top of the list! It's got to be better than going to some stick-up-the-ass town or fucking school again. I mean, after you shag the principal once, the appeal wears off, you know? And then what's left to do but shag the nurse? And let me tell you, she's not so pretty.

[easy_a]

I don't know what world you're living in, but it sure as fuck isn't Earth.

Uh, all games are at the bottom of the list. Luckily, mun won't be sending me to any school games; she already mods one and doesn't see the appeal of me going to a place like it. And last thing I want is to be some sort of slag cheerleader.

[tripled]

So, it's totally plausible that we get powers in a freak storm, but not that I get some post-death snogs? Come on.

Oh, are you kidding? You could've hooked me up with your cheerleader friends! Preferably the top of the pyramid, but I'm not picky!

This one's just got to get her act together before she does anything. But, come on, if she's going to be putting anyone in a game, it's got to be me. Just look at me! The women of the world need a man like me.

[easy_a]

Way more plausible.

M'not cheerleading or wearing those cheap little outfits; put it out of your head, you prick.

The world needs a man like you like it needs an apocalypse.

[tripled]

Well, now you're just bein' mean.

You don't have to be a cheerleader. Those little volleyball shorts'll do it for me too.

Yeah, well, the apocalypse is happening and it's happening soon. I'm going to get myself in one of those games and sooner or later I'll be doing things that are dirtier and more depraved than anything in your wildest fantasies. It'll be great.

[easy_a]

Piss off. I'm not dressing in anything special just for you to get your shits and giggles.

God have mercy on whatever game you rampage through.

[tripled]

Oh, don't be so harsh! I deserve a reward for coming up with these brilliant plans! But all I get is disappointment.

Yeah, well, I'm sure you won't be so great either. Oh, look at me, I'm Alisha, I don't want to go to outer space, or have wings!

[easy_a]

You came up with one plan, and it's shit. You're not getting anything.

Least I'm not running around with a tiny cock like you, yeah? No game can change that.

[tripled]

I do not have a tiny cock! I'll have you know, I've never had a single complaint! Okay, well, I've had a few, but it's not my fault! They had fanny caves!

Well, here's a plan. It's called Plan Shit All Over Everyone's Delicate Feelings. Apparently, you've completed Phase One!

[easy_a]

Whoopdidoo. Good for me. It's the only plan of yours that's ever worked.

[tripled]

I've had plenty of good plans! I can't think of any right now but they happened and it was fucking genius!

[easy_a]

Okay, okay, fine. In some past life, you've made good plans.

Happy?

[tripled]

It's a start. At this point, I'm not sure if anything will heal my wounded heart. Or my cock's wounded heart.