Mun's wanting to...

[easy_a]

Ahahahaha, no.

Wot makes you think I want to go to a game? Because whatever train of thought you're trying to reason that with is retarded. You don't even have a place in mind and you're still wanting to stick me somewhere.

Okay, I get it. You think it'll be fun. Look. Maybe you're okay with the whole, "Oh, let's mess around with everybody's heads and see wot happens, uuuegh," thing, but I'm not. Wot's more, I'm not going to do it, and you'd be daft to think that I'll go ahead with this rubbish. It's bullshit. 'Sides, if you don't even know where to start at all, maybe you shouldn't bother looking in the first place, yeah?


...Are you even listening to me?

Comments

[easy_a]

No, it couldn't have.

[Fine. Plan Piss is still on the table. HAPPY NOW? ...Not that she's going to admit it aloud.]

Does it look like I want to go into outer space, grow fucking wings, or shag strangers everyday? Not everyone is shagging material, you know, and I don't like doing it like that anymore.

[tripled]

We're all filled with adrenaline and excitement because I'm alive. Anything can happen! You ladies thought you'd never get the chance to snog me. And then, BAM. Makeouts and dry humping everywhere!

Those are off the top of the list! It's got to be better than going to some stick-up-the-ass town or fucking school again. I mean, after you shag the principal once, the appeal wears off, you know? And then what's left to do but shag the nurse? And let me tell you, she's not so pretty.

[easy_a]

I don't know what world you're living in, but it sure as fuck isn't Earth.

Uh, all games are at the bottom of the list. Luckily, mun won't be sending me to any school games; she already mods one and doesn't see the appeal of me going to a place like it. And last thing I want is to be some sort of slag cheerleader.

[tripled]

So, it's totally plausible that we get powers in a freak storm, but not that I get some post-death snogs? Come on.

Oh, are you kidding? You could've hooked me up with your cheerleader friends! Preferably the top of the pyramid, but I'm not picky!

This one's just got to get her act together before she does anything. But, come on, if she's going to be putting anyone in a game, it's got to be me. Just look at me! The women of the world need a man like me.

[easy_a]

Way more plausible.

M'not cheerleading or wearing those cheap little outfits; put it out of your head, you prick.

The world needs a man like you like it needs an apocalypse.

[tripled]

Well, now you're just bein' mean.

You don't have to be a cheerleader. Those little volleyball shorts'll do it for me too.

Yeah, well, the apocalypse is happening and it's happening soon. I'm going to get myself in one of those games and sooner or later I'll be doing things that are dirtier and more depraved than anything in your wildest fantasies. It'll be great.

[easy_a]

Piss off. I'm not dressing in anything special just for you to get your shits and giggles.

God have mercy on whatever game you rampage through.

[tripled]

Oh, don't be so harsh! I deserve a reward for coming up with these brilliant plans! But all I get is disappointment.

Yeah, well, I'm sure you won't be so great either. Oh, look at me, I'm Alisha, I don't want to go to outer space, or have wings!

[easy_a]

You came up with one plan, and it's shit. You're not getting anything.

Least I'm not running around with a tiny cock like you, yeah? No game can change that.

[tripled]

I do not have a tiny cock! I'll have you know, I've never had a single complaint! Okay, well, I've had a few, but it's not my fault! They had fanny caves!

Well, here's a plan. It's called Plan Shit All Over Everyone's Delicate Feelings. Apparently, you've completed Phase One!

[easy_a]

Whoopdidoo. Good for me. It's the only plan of yours that's ever worked.

[tripled]

I've had plenty of good plans! I can't think of any right now but they happened and it was fucking genius!

[easy_a]

Okay, okay, fine. In some past life, you've made good plans.

Happy?

[tripled]

It's a start. At this point, I'm not sure if anything will heal my wounded heart. Or my cock's wounded heart.

[easy_a]

You're immortal; you'll be fine.

[tripled]

Yeah, that means I'll have to live forever with this constant pain! It hurts.

[okay he's kidding

probably

most likely]

[easy_a]

Then stop being a dick and maybe it'll go away.

[You are looking in the wrong place if you want sympathy, Nathan.]

[tripled]

So cold.

I'm just trying to be a helpful friend here. I can't help it that you've got awful taste in plans!

Alright, alright. I think I've really got it this time.

I call it Operation Circlejerk.

[easy_a]

Last time you pulled that plan, the probation worker knew you were blowing it out of your ass.

We were just lucky he didn't give a shit.

[tripled]

No, no! This is a totally different Operation Circlejerk!

You're all lucky I came up with that. Come on, it was totally believable! Just a couple of young offenders masturbating. Nothin' to see here!

[easy_a]

We were all dressed. It's not like you did anything but make an ass of yourself... again.

[That being said... desperate times call for desperate measures.]

And how exactly is this Operation Circlejerk different from the last one?

[tripled]

Alright, alright. Get ready for your mind to be blown.

So you gather up everyone in a circle, yeah? And then you yell, "Hey! We're all going to have a wank in your mind!"

[easy_a]

...That is seriously the shittiest plan you've come up with yet.

And I'm pretty sure everyone does some sort of shagging in there anyway; it's not like it's going to bother her.

[tripled]

Shagging in her mind?

Well, what've you got to leave it for, then? You've got everything right there!

[easy_a]

I'm not the one doing the shagging, alright?

[It's no fun when your fuckbuddies can't remember what happened.]