possible s5 spoilers within

[dilemma]

As much as I love being one Kubrick reference away from that film nerd street cred you always dreamed of, waking up sliding ass first into Tranquility's finest isn't how I typically like to spend my life.

Oh, Ric's there still? Big whoop.

Don't even think the word Augustine again. [ 150% done with all of this. ] And I'm the dick?

Comments

/dances with excitement

[coy]

You are kind of a dick, Damon.

/falils!!

[dilemma]

[ insert strained smile here. no one asked you barbie! ]

Aren't you original.

[sufferances]

Most of the time, yes.

[ yo ]

[dilemma]

[ hey bro how are the bunnies treatin' ya? ]

Not to belittle our years of development but—takes one to...dot, dot, dot.

[ he's so clever. tell him he's clever. ]

[angerissues]

Yes, you are the dick, Damon. Trust me on that one.

[dilemma]

Sorry, first come first serve on the burn effectiveness. Try again next time.

[effusive]

I don't think you need me to answer that one.

[dilemma]

Oh, good, I don't have to be disappointed in you too. You win the prize.

[sleuthtastic]

Oh, goodie.

[ Because of course space has a psychotic jackass. ]

[dilemma]

[ gurl, he's the lighter side of psychotic. ]

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[surrogates]

I see how it is. [ ACTUAL CLEARING OF THROAT HERE. ] Aren't we lucky the Salvatore without the doppelganger is gracing us with his presence again.

[ as the kids say, yolo motherfucker. ]

Y E S

[dilemma]

Ric, you weren't suppose to see that. [ he's doing a pretty good job at mock sincerity here, he should win an oscar. ] How do you know there aren't three of me running around just waiting to make your life miserable.

[ afterlife? ]

double taps fight me on it

[sharp]

To be honest, the ship probably won't be appreciating it either.

secret cracky crossover ship brb sp

[dilemma]

My ass? Because you're right about that.

[ you walked into that one, amelia pond. ]

[akiddiepool]

It's not the worst thing you've been called.

[dilemma]

By you. [ or stefan. or elena. or anyone, really, who are you kidding damon. ]

c:

[mathematically]

I'd say you could slide face first but I'm not sure your ass is the first thing I want to see getting out of my couch.

[ :3 ]

[dilemma]

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. [ insert suggestive wink at a teenage girl here.

reunited and it feels so good.mp3 ]

[cons]

[ you can bet Wichita's going to try and shove him by the shoulder even though she knows perfectly well it's not going to do anything ]

Where the fuck have you been?

[ like she has any right to ask that anymore woops ]

[dilemma]

[ oh goodie it's his least favorite person ever. fantastic. ]

A B conversation, Klaus.

[outliver]

Sensitive much?

[dilemma]

Obnoxious much? [ oh great now she's here. ] Katherine. Shouldn't you and your two cents be off somewhere, irritating me with your continued existence from a distance?

i legit haven't done dm in like over a year this is love okay

[unparental]

You are. You really are.

[ sup, other woman how you livin boo ]

So I guess this means the timeshare is back on.

i love and appreciate you

[dilemma]

[ if he has to roll his eyes one more time at you people they're going to pop out of his head. ] Noted.

[ large and better than jenna considering life on the good ship tq these days. ]

It was never off. All those unused months? Accumulated. I am owed weeks of uninterrupted bro time.