-- coppiceCultivator [CC] began trolling dearMun [DM] --

[prune]

Mun! Oh, mun. I'm so glλd we're getting to cλtch up here. But λllow me λ moment of your thyme!
λre you sure you're pre-peλred to plλy me? :)
Lettuce think of whλt's λlreλdy on your plλte! I beleλf you've λlreλdy let your tλgs pile up, so I think you should do some weeding before you preseed to tλke on even MOR-Σ!
But you seem to be so mowtivλted λlreλdy. I cedλr you won't be convinced otherwise!
Not to go out on λ limb or λnything, but if you could keep your eyes peeled for λny of my friends, I'd be reλlly GRλT-ΣFUL!
Ψe λll belong together, λfter λll.
I think this will be the stλrt of something reλlly grλpe, mun!

( ooc; voice test. this is teal!feferi from red dead virgo. depending on how threads go, she might get sort of spoilery for this AU, so you are forewarned! )

Comments

[empurress]

:ε ~the dread empurress of the fathomlessly deep depths and also everything else that isnt in the ocean observes the helpless land dweller standing by the water~
:ε ~she releases a bubbly glubbing chuckle heavily tinged with impawssible cunning because the tealblood who is also really pretty doesnt notice her there because she cant see underwater!~
:ε ~and before her purrey knows she's there~
>:ε ~she strikes with a culling blow!!~
Xε ~ HI FEFURRY!

[equinerotica]

D --> Wait




D --> What

[prune]

Oh, Nepetλ! It's good to S-Σ-Σ you!
I meλn... λhem!
The so-cλlled helpless lλnd dweller cries, "Ψhλt rλisin did you hλve to do THλT!"
But then smiles in λ frondly mλnner, becλuse Nepetλ is not her λnemone :)

[prune]

λh, λrλdiλ!
JUST the person I wλnted to tλlk to.
These tulips hλve λ lot to flλp λt you! Brλmbles down, okλy?

[equinerotica]

D --> Goodness
D --> No, this is Equius
D --> It 100% like there is something
D --> Odd going on here
D --> And it is very conflicting for me

[prune]

Ψhλλλλt?
I would be gλrden the fλct thλt you've λdopted her text color, -Σquius!
I know for a FλCT thλt λλ does not tλke Ψ-ΣLL to shλring.
Just dropping you λ little seed pλcket! It won't win her over.
I'll thistle something else to you, too. I wouldn't mind if you DID win her over! :)

[caliginous]

[There is not enough Do Not Want in the world for this.]

PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF GRAPE.
I MEAN GR8.
FUCK.
OK STARTING OVER.
NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF WHATEVER IT IS YOUR MUN IS LOOKING TO DO.
TRUST ME ON THIS, PEIXES.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU OTHERWISE.
EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE ONLY VOICE WORTH LISTENING TO ANYWAY.

[prune]

Voice?
I beleλf I'M the little voice in her heλd, not the other wλy λround! :)
You're λlwλys bλrking λnd bλrking λnd biting!
I HOP-Σ this little stick isn't for λ short bit of grλssificλtion. I think it would be GRλP-Σ to find λ gλme!
Of course, I'm λ little tired of gλmes, so mλybe we would hλve to go light on the gλme-gλmey pλrt. Just λ little bud. :)

[equinerotica]

D --> You
D --> Oh my
D --> So then there is an alternate
D --> Where

D --> E%cuse me
D --> I do not think I have enough drying apparatus to process this

[prune]

...λre you okλy?

Ψell, I'll be right here when you're R-ΣλDY!

[caliginous]

MAYBE I HOPED YOU HAD FUCKED OFF TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU SLITHERED OUT OF.
LETS TAKE A SEAT FOR A SECOND AND EXAMINE SOMETHING.
REMEMBER THAT THING I HAVE THAT NOBODY ELSE HAS?
ITS CALLED EXPERIENCE.
AND ITS A THING YOU DON'T WANT IN THIS CASE.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
RIGHT.
A LITTLE BUD.
WHATEVER.
I KIND OF HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS, SO THAT'S JUST FUCKING PEACHY WITH ME.
SEE, I CAN DO THE STUPID FLOWER PUN BULLSHIT TOO.

[equinerotica]

D --> I think we are misunderstanding one another
D --> My mun informs me that you are from a different, but similar version of the same universe
D --> Like an offshoot timeline
D --> E%cept
D --> Our respective places on the hemospectrum have been %ed

D --> I
D --> Cannot even imagine

[faker]

(V)!_!(V) < muns have this imclawsi6ly 6ad ha6it of picking up more stuff when their workload gets really heavy, haha
(V)!_!(V) < its almost like they want to make things even more shellish than it already is for them! theyre so weird
(V)!_!(V) < 6ut i hope that yours manages to keep things 6alanced enough to do fun things with you
(V)!_!(V) < its nice 6eing out and a6out, even if its just floating around places like this :)

[prune]

If I stλrted off in λ hole, it wλs only λs λ seed, reλdy to become λ B-ΣλUTIFUL FLOΨ-----ΣR! :)
I think you're λ reλl peλch too, Kλrkλt! But you hλve λ long wλy to go until you get the hλng of puns.

I'm going to λster you λ few questions λbout these gλmes! I hλve heλrd it through the grλpevine thλt you λre in one yourself. There's not λ dλisy goes by when my mun isn't cλrroting λround with her other muses. She is λlwλys working OVΣR-THYM-Σ! She'd lichen to mλybe plλy me somewhere else, though! Somewhere thλt isn't this cuminity.
So I guess whλt I'm λsking is, how the shrub is it where you λre? :)
(See λll those puns? Ψ-Σ-ΣD '-ΣM λND R-ΣλP!)

[prune]

Thλt's λ bundle of hollyhock right there!
...But STRλNG-ΣR things hλve hλppened, I suppose. I won't just rest on my lλurels λbout it, either!
Tell me λbout this universe of yours. :)

[caliginous]

JUST FUCKING DANDILION.
IF YOU LIKE REPEATEDLY SMASHING YOUR PAN AGAINST A GIGANTIC IMPERIAL WALL OF MISERY.
SO RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY, I GUESS.
MY POOR EXCUSE FOR A MUN INSISTS THAT ITS PRETTY HARD TO GET LOST AROUND HERE.
THE PACE IS SLOW ENOUGH TO WATCH ON TOP OF TWO OTHER FAST GAMES, COUPLED WITH SCHOOLFEEDING AND WORK, SHE SAYS.

BY THE WAY, I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THESE TERRIBLE PUNS.
AND YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS AS AN INVIT8ION TO RUN THIS HOLE I'M STUCK IN EVEN FURTHER INTO THE GROUND.
GET ME?

[prune]

You're not Kλnλyλ under thλt ridiculous drλb old grλy, λre you?
Somehow I don't think so!
But you're certλinly right! Now thλt we're here, we cλn't exλctly pλck up our trunks λnd leλf. But we cλn still hλve FUN!
I think it'll be okλy even if we're not the most poplλr of our muns' muses. :)

[equinerotica]

D --> Well, you
D --> That is, you are Feferi, correct
D --> I know you as the empress to be
D --> And I am not imitating anyone
D --> This is my font

[faker]

(V)!_!(V) < and youd 6e right! im not even close to 6eing kanaya
(V)!_!(V) < i 6et if you try hard enough you can guess who i am without any help - unless you dont like games like that
(V)!_!(V) < exactly! even a little 6it of attention from the muns is more than enough to have a good time if theres enough dedicrustacean on our ends
(V)!_!(V) < theres just so much happening its hard to stay 6ored

[prune]

Yew λre not doing the greλtest job of celling this gλme to me! Good thing I hλve λ greλt sense of humor. Hoe hoe hoe, Kλrkλt!
I think it'd be λs fun λs setting up λ brλnd new hygrometer, λnd λ new thought hλs stemmed out of this nut of mine. λ tendril of λn ideλ!
Ψhλt if I dropped by your little tower one dλy? :)

[prune]

M-Σ, the ---ΣMPR---ΣSS?
There's λ good lλugh if I ever hλd one! :) I hλve no rλisin to wλnt to be royλlty. λfter λll, I'd wλnt to be my own royλl gλrdener!
So you're λ blueblood in your universe. Thλt's pine of interesting!

[caliginous]

NO.
NOPE.
NUH UH.
NO SIR.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
WAS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU????????






MY MUN THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA, WHICH MEANS ITS AN EXPLICITLY HORRIBLE IDEA.
SO I SAY AGAIN.
FUCK.
NO.

[prune]

I'm trying to weed out the possibilities, but I'm drλwing λ reλl blλnk!
But with those fishy puns (nice puns, by the wλy!), could you be λ seλdweller?
Ψhy on dirt would λ seλdweller wλnt to write in grλy, though? Their colors λre so rich, like λ whole GλRD-ΣN of P-ΣTUNIλS!
λm I on the ΨRONG TRλCK?

[empurress]

:ε ~ hee hee!
>:ε ~having successfully culled the land dweller the most cheerful sea kitten efur gives her frond a cute smile~
:ε ~ oops
:ε ~ i mean her furrend!
:ε ~ i mean
:ε ~the empurress leans down and makes a sound that is halfway between a purr and a glub which is otherwise indescribable but very appealing~
:ε ~and she reminds the pretty plant troll that culling isnt bad anymore!~
:ε ~because since shes taken ofur everything changed!~
Xε ~and she remembers that right??~

[prune]

Kλrkλt!
Oh, for ryeing out loud.









Karkat.
Let's not beat around the bush, okay?
What are you so worried about?
Would it really be so bad if I showed up?