-- coppiceCultivator [CC] began trolling dearMun [DM] --

[prune]

Mun! Oh, mun. I'm so glλd we're getting to cλtch up here. But λllow me λ moment of your thyme!
λre you sure you're pre-peλred to plλy me? :)
Lettuce think of whλt's λlreλdy on your plλte! I beleλf you've λlreλdy let your tλgs pile up, so I think you should do some weeding before you preseed to tλke on even MOR-Σ!
But you seem to be so mowtivλted λlreλdy. I cedλr you won't be convinced otherwise!
Not to go out on λ limb or λnything, but if you could keep your eyes peeled for λny of my friends, I'd be reλlly GRλT-ΣFUL!
Ψe λll belong together, λfter λll.
I think this will be the stλrt of something reλlly grλpe, mun!

( ooc; voice test. this is teal!feferi from red dead virgo. depending on how threads go, she might get sort of spoilery for this AU, so you are forewarned! )

Comments

[caliginous]

[There is not enough Do Not Want in the world for this.]

PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF GRAPE.
I MEAN GR8.
FUCK.
OK STARTING OVER.
NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF WHATEVER IT IS YOUR MUN IS LOOKING TO DO.
TRUST ME ON THIS, PEIXES.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU OTHERWISE.
EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE ONLY VOICE WORTH LISTENING TO ANYWAY.

[prune]

Voice?
I beleλf I'M the little voice in her heλd, not the other wλy λround! :)
You're λlwλys bλrking λnd bλrking λnd biting!
I HOP-Σ this little stick isn't for λ short bit of grλssificλtion. I think it would be GRλP-Σ to find λ gλme!
Of course, I'm λ little tired of gλmes, so mλybe we would hλve to go light on the gλme-gλmey pλrt. Just λ little bud. :)

[caliginous]

MAYBE I HOPED YOU HAD FUCKED OFF TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU SLITHERED OUT OF.
LETS TAKE A SEAT FOR A SECOND AND EXAMINE SOMETHING.
REMEMBER THAT THING I HAVE THAT NOBODY ELSE HAS?
ITS CALLED EXPERIENCE.
AND ITS A THING YOU DON'T WANT IN THIS CASE.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
RIGHT.
A LITTLE BUD.
WHATEVER.
I KIND OF HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS, SO THAT'S JUST FUCKING PEACHY WITH ME.
SEE, I CAN DO THE STUPID FLOWER PUN BULLSHIT TOO.

[prune]

If I stλrted off in λ hole, it wλs only λs λ seed, reλdy to become λ B-ΣλUTIFUL FLOΨ-----ΣR! :)
I think you're λ reλl peλch too, Kλrkλt! But you hλve λ long wλy to go until you get the hλng of puns.

I'm going to λster you λ few questions λbout these gλmes! I hλve heλrd it through the grλpevine thλt you λre in one yourself. There's not λ dλisy goes by when my mun isn't cλrroting λround with her other muses. She is λlwλys working OVΣR-THYM-Σ! She'd lichen to mλybe plλy me somewhere else, though! Somewhere thλt isn't this cuminity.
So I guess whλt I'm λsking is, how the shrub is it where you λre? :)
(See λll those puns? Ψ-Σ-ΣD '-ΣM λND R-ΣλP!)

[caliginous]

JUST FUCKING DANDILION.
IF YOU LIKE REPEATEDLY SMASHING YOUR PAN AGAINST A GIGANTIC IMPERIAL WALL OF MISERY.
SO RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY, I GUESS.
MY POOR EXCUSE FOR A MUN INSISTS THAT ITS PRETTY HARD TO GET LOST AROUND HERE.
THE PACE IS SLOW ENOUGH TO WATCH ON TOP OF TWO OTHER FAST GAMES, COUPLED WITH SCHOOLFEEDING AND WORK, SHE SAYS.

BY THE WAY, I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THESE TERRIBLE PUNS.
AND YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS AS AN INVIT8ION TO RUN THIS HOLE I'M STUCK IN EVEN FURTHER INTO THE GROUND.
GET ME?

[prune]

Yew λre not doing the greλtest job of celling this gλme to me! Good thing I hλve λ greλt sense of humor. Hoe hoe hoe, Kλrkλt!
I think it'd be λs fun λs setting up λ brλnd new hygrometer, λnd λ new thought hλs stemmed out of this nut of mine. λ tendril of λn ideλ!
Ψhλt if I dropped by your little tower one dλy? :)

[caliginous]

NO.
NOPE.
NUH UH.
NO SIR.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
WAS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU????????






MY MUN THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA, WHICH MEANS ITS AN EXPLICITLY HORRIBLE IDEA.
SO I SAY AGAIN.
FUCK.
NO.

[prune]

Kλrkλt!
Oh, for ryeing out loud.









Karkat.
Let's not beat around the bush, okay?
What are you so worried about?
Would it really be so bad if I showed up?

[caliginous]

AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
ITS PRETTY MUCH THE BEST PART OF THIS WHOLE CONVERS8ION.

I WASN'T KIDDING ABOUT THAT WHOLE IMPERIAL WALL OF MISERY.
THE TOWER'S A GODDAMN TORTURE CHAMBER.

[prune]

No, I think we're going to talk about it.
You love to talk. You never shut up.
So I'm offering you a little releaf. An opportunity for you to seize. To run your mouth! That's your favorite, isn't it? :)
Let's talk.
Tell me more about this place.

[caliginous]

THIS IS ME, WATCHING THAT OPPORTUNITY SAIL AWAY LIKE A GRACEFUL FEATHERBEAST OR SOME OTHER STUPID ANALOGY THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE UNEARTHING.

THEY CLAIMED THAT THEY RESCUED US FROM THE VEIL BEFORE SOMETHING DESTROYED IT.
NOBODY'S BUYING IT, BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, ITS A STUPID FUCKING THEORY.
OUR CAPTORS ARE PRETTY INVISIBLE.
BUT THEY LIKE TO FUCK WITH EVERYONE ON A REGULAR BASIS.

[prune]

They.

Took you.






From the Veil.
Before something destroyed it.

[caliginous]

I DIDN'T STUTTER.
ALSO: WORD OF ADVICE.
DON'T F8CKING DO TH8T!!!!!!!!

[prune]

Don't do what, Karkat?




They took you.
Took you when we were all going to be safe.
I made sure of it.
I'm sure that I made sure of it.
That was the deal.

And they say they rescued you?

[caliginous]

[Oh god, this is terrifying, he really really doesn't like this.]

........
YEAH.
THERE'S NO DEAL, PEIXES.

1/2

[prune]

I'll fix it.

[prune]

Don't you worry your poor H-ΣλD.
I'll solve our problems λgλin.
Count on me! :)
-Σverything is going to be okλy.
I'll mλke things the wλy they SHOULD be.

[caliginous]

WE'RE NOT SHOPPING FOR ANY PSYCHOPATHIC KILLING SPREES TODAY.
THANKS ANYWAY.

[prune]

...
Thλt's not λ very nice wλy to phrλse it.
I hλve never λnd would never go on a 'psychopλthic killing spree'!

i am weeping in joy for this entire post

[caliginous]

OH NOOOOOOOO.
SURE DO SEE THE ERRORS OF MY WAYS!!!!!!!!
I'LL BE SURE TO REEVALU8 MY WORDING WHEN THE FORK HAS ME PINNED AGAINST THE GOD DAMN WALL.
NO FUCKING THANK YOU.

screams i do not belong with you beautiful people

[prune]

It isn't my fλult thλt some of you chose to make it so HλRD on the both of us.
I wλnted it to be SIMPL-Σ!
Merciful.