When Muses Attack

[onlyneedsone]

What is wrong with you?

[What? I just thou--]

No. You didn't think. Thinking appears to be a state you're unable to achieve. If you could, then you wouldn't have made me. Yes, yes, 'you did it first'...

[But--]

You haven't even seen the damn movie yet. You're taking the two snippets you've seen of me in Iron Man and Thor and fusing them with every godawful movie my PB's ever been in. You even made a post about 'motherfuckin' snakes in my motherfuckin' office'. This clearly indicates your inability to form a sound thought. Frankly, I'm surprised you're capable of dressing and feeding yourself. You might require your own handler.

[Hey... that's just... that's just low, man.]

I. Do. Not. Care. And I swear to god, woman, if you tell one more person that I lost my eye in a Mexican cock-fight to a crazy-ass rooster named 'Bernardo' while undercover, I will toss you in that cell with Loki.

[....*beams*]

Wait. Rewind that. I will toss you in a cell with Wayne Newton.

[... You asshole.]

That's Director Asshole to you. And you're welcome.

Comments

[arach_nerd]

Really, it should be more like mothersmegging' Hydra on a mothersmegging' Helicarrier, but what do I know?

[onlyneedsone]

... You're not helping.

[arach_nerd]

Why does everyone assume I'm actually trying to?

[compromisedarrow]

Well, someone's got his panties in a twist.

[onlyneedsone]

The Bernardo tale was the last straw.

[compromisedarrow]

So, that's not true?

[Damn, he owes Hill $5.]

[hotrodred]

You lost your eye in a cock-fight?




..........






Wait. Never mind. I'm thinking of cock-fencing.

[onlyneedsone]

[Where's a facepalming icon when you need one?]

It's a fallacy either way, Mr. Stark.

[hotrodred]

Yeah, I mean... why would you be fighting Bernardo yourself? Aren't you supposed to use your own cock for that?

[mordidly]

I like how you speak to your Mun. They need to know their place.

[onlyneedsone]

Indeed they do. They also need to stop making up tall-tales and spreading them around as gospel.

[mordidly]

To bad there is yet to be a way to toss them into a cell, like the one you speak of. Though, I would prefer to teach mine some respect first.

[aimtrue]

Pretty sure I started that rumour when I first joined Shield. It's still going?

[onlyneedsone]

[Is it sad that I put in a 'Memo to Fury' with this little snippet, and blamed BARTON for it? Haha... no. It's so, so right.]

About as strongly as the one regarding you and Agent Coulson.

[aimtrue]

[It is exactly what he would do. Exactly. The trolling little fucker.]

Ooooh. Are we married yet?

[gotoagent]

[Eyebrow raise. But he will just be standing here until you're ready.]

[onlyneedsone]

[And that is because he's how an agent should be.]

[gotoagent]

[Happy to do it.]

[fuego]

Damn, I owe someone $50.

[He was hoping it was named "Rico" or something.]

[onlyneedsone]

It wasn't named anything, Mr. Dresden, since it didn't happen.

[warchangedme]

I always assumed somewhere in the Middle East to an over curious camel spider myself.

[Yes, even the personification of the USA gets in on this nonsense.]

How goes baby sitting the Avengers, Fury?

[onlyneedsone]

You would be incorrect.

[Good lord, help him]

Like a pain i my ass, every day.

[204degrees]

You seem to have your mun on a leach! Mind giving me a tip? [Grins]

[onlyneedsone]

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!

[Hahah... Mad-Eye.]

-- I will end you.

[... *silence*]

[204degrees]

That sounds like a great tip! [Beams back]

Well you gotta catch me first!