When Muses Attack

[onlyneedsone]

What is wrong with you?

[What? I just thou--]

No. You didn't think. Thinking appears to be a state you're unable to achieve. If you could, then you wouldn't have made me. Yes, yes, 'you did it first'...

[But--]

You haven't even seen the damn movie yet. You're taking the two snippets you've seen of me in Iron Man and Thor and fusing them with every godawful movie my PB's ever been in. You even made a post about 'motherfuckin' snakes in my motherfuckin' office'. This clearly indicates your inability to form a sound thought. Frankly, I'm surprised you're capable of dressing and feeding yourself. You might require your own handler.

[Hey... that's just... that's just low, man.]

I. Do. Not. Care. And I swear to god, woman, if you tell one more person that I lost my eye in a Mexican cock-fight to a crazy-ass rooster named 'Bernardo' while undercover, I will toss you in that cell with Loki.

[....*beams*]

Wait. Rewind that. I will toss you in a cell with Wayne Newton.

[... You asshole.]

That's Director Asshole to you. And you're welcome.

Comments

[onlyneedsone]

[The best Clint can achieve is a lineface. Fury is not impressed.]

Oh, but it is. You glow, Barton.

[aimtrue]

[Well, a lineface is something at least. Maybe he should start practicing.]

Are you saying I'm not always this radiant, sir?

[onlyneedsone]

The only thing about you that's a constant is the constant state of you being a pain in my ass.

[aimtrue]

And that's an achievement in itself.

[onlyneedsone]

[And here's where he hangs his head and pinches the bridge of his nose]

[aimtrue]

[Clint would pat Fury consolingly on the shoulder, but he likes his hand. And kinda needs it. For archery related activities.]

[onlyneedsone]

[Sure, Clint. That's what you're using it for.]

[aimtrue]

[Clint would like to point out that if, according to SHIELD rumour, he's getting enough sex from Coulson to be pregnant, then logically he shouldn't need to be using his hand for that.]

[onlyneedsone]

[Fury would like to point out that he only needs to have gotten it once to have wound up in his condition, so maybe his hand is all he has left.]