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Entry tags:
On events at Somarium
Do you know, Cherie, when it comes down to it, I am not actually all that sorry for what I did?
I am sorry I lied to Enjolras of course, and I expect that he is furious and may never speak to me again, and everything else we'd like to say. I did directly lie, practically to his face, if there had been a facial communication opportunity at the time, and I know, I know I've lied to him before, about the bachelor party and some other things, and that YOU have been at me for lying to you about some others for nearly a year now, but, darling, realistically, what else was there to do?
Yes, I am sorry that Enjolras knows that I lied to his face, that I intended to lie to his face and did it in real time, and I know perfectly well, he is furious, that Marius likely vanished from the world not knowing where in hell I was, and that I worried a good deal of people, including a certain mademoiselle of mine, but...all the same.
I would do all of it again were it required, and the cause was greater than any possible damage done now because of it. Promising not to go after Enjolras when he was kidnapped was a promise I could never keep and we all know it. Whatever the consequences for me might have been, had they been my death itself, I would have carried them out. Being kidnapped and held were both unpleasant, but they were worth it for him and always will be. There is nothing that would not be worth it for those stakes, even if those stakes involve Enjolras's friendship itself.
So I have made my choice. And so, while I feel terrible, as if I do not dare to approach Enjolras again, all I am sorry for is that I was pressed to lie to him, and for worrying him and the others. I knew what I was risking when I chose to attempt to rescue him, and while the thought of losing him is...incredibly painful beyond belief, the fact he is still in the world makes it all the more worthwhile to have done it, even if I lose the thing I hold most dear there in the end. I would still do it all again.
No guilt, and just a little fear,
Your Courfeyrac
I am sorry I lied to Enjolras of course, and I expect that he is furious and may never speak to me again, and everything else we'd like to say. I did directly lie, practically to his face, if there had been a facial communication opportunity at the time, and I know, I know I've lied to him before, about the bachelor party and some other things, and that YOU have been at me for lying to you about some others for nearly a year now, but, darling, realistically, what else was there to do?
Yes, I am sorry that Enjolras knows that I lied to his face, that I intended to lie to his face and did it in real time, and I know perfectly well, he is furious, that Marius likely vanished from the world not knowing where in hell I was, and that I worried a good deal of people, including a certain mademoiselle of mine, but...all the same.
I would do all of it again were it required, and the cause was greater than any possible damage done now because of it. Promising not to go after Enjolras when he was kidnapped was a promise I could never keep and we all know it. Whatever the consequences for me might have been, had they been my death itself, I would have carried them out. Being kidnapped and held were both unpleasant, but they were worth it for him and always will be. There is nothing that would not be worth it for those stakes, even if those stakes involve Enjolras's friendship itself.
So I have made my choice. And so, while I feel terrible, as if I do not dare to approach Enjolras again, all I am sorry for is that I was pressed to lie to him, and for worrying him and the others. I knew what I was risking when I chose to attempt to rescue him, and while the thought of losing him is...incredibly painful beyond belief, the fact he is still in the world makes it all the more worthwhile to have done it, even if I lose the thing I hold most dear there in the end. I would still do it all again.
No guilt, and just a little fear,
Your Courfeyrac