Voice testing...and he's not thrilled...

[alwayspenetrated]

Bitch, wait just one fucking minute!

"Always penetrated"? Are you fucking kidding me? What is that bullshit!? I'm fuck-mothering Dante! Do you understand what that means? It means I do the penetrating!! And I'll have you know that I do that penetrating A LOT!!

Now, if you wanna' air my dirty laundry for all to see, go right ahead. I don't really give a shit.

But do it right God dammit!!

[He pauses to cross his arms before his broad chest, grumbling to himself.]

Jesus...you get stabbed a few times and people can't let it the fuck go...

Comments

[patricided]

It wouldn't have if you'd been more cooperative.

[It's okay she's mostly over it these days.]

[alwayspenetrated]

Hey I'm always cooperative!!

[...no you're not.]

...sometimes!

[patricided]

That sometimes says so much Dante.

[alwayspenetrated]

Admit it, you'd be lost without me! [Grins.]

[Isn't it the other way around...?]

[patricided]

Oh completely...

[alwayspenetrated]

[He wraps an arm around her with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.]

I knew it. Now keep talkin' - you're head over heels in love with me, aren't you? Admit it! The truth will set you free~!!

[patricided]

[And just as quickly she's shrugging out of his grasp. Paws off please.]

It's called sarcasm. I handle things just fine without you.

[alwayspenetrated]

Aww c'mon now, is that nice? That's no way to treat your knight in shining armor! C'mon babe, we're meant for each other, you know that!!

[It's worth noting that he uses this speech on a lot of pretty girls...]

[patricided]

[Snort] My knight in shining armor? I'm not one of your stripper club floozies.

[alwayspenetrated]

No you're fifty-six times better!

[Because she takes his shit and gives it right back to him.]

C'mon Lady, you know you're the only woman for me!

I am so sorry for this.

[patricided]

[crosses back to him and pats his face]

Maybe when you mature a little bit. Or exorcise your demon half whichever comes first.

Re: Feeeeeeels!

[alwayspenetrated]

Jesus, why don't you just ask me to stop fuckin' breathing!

[Both of those options are equally tormenting, at least to Dante.]

[Dante chuckles a bit before smiling to her.]

For you though, it'd be worth it.

Re: Necessary requirement to this game

[patricided]

That might have crossed my mind.

[Except not because then who would do all the heavy lifting for her?]

It could be. Which would it be?

Re: Naturally! If there's no feels, you're not doing it right!

[alwayspenetrated]

[He scratches his head for a minute, pursing his lips slightly as he considers the options.]

...[Sigh.] Well Mar' - I think I'd pretty much do either one if I could.

[...did you really just make "Mary" shorter...? How lazy are you?]

But, I can't really exorcise myself...and if I lose my demon half I might lose my super strength...

[Can't have that! ...but he'd do it for her.]

Re: I sort of feel bad for him, most impossible choice ever.

[patricided]

[So very very lazy it's one syllable.]

I guess you're sort of stuck then.

[And she hadn't really thought of the possibility of him losing his super strength whoops. That does come in handy.]

Sounds like maturing would be your only option.

[Almost as an after thought]And yet...that wouldn't be right.

Re: Yeah, but most important choices are like that I feel like.

[alwayspenetrated]

[He's sort of shocked that she didn't whack him for using her real name! But he's not going to argue either...]

Guess so, but it's not really stuck per se...

[He almost doesn't hear the last part, but he tilts a brow as it finally registers.]

Hm? How so?

Re: They really are.

[patricided]

[She's giving him a pass this time. She did tell him what her name actually after all and if he wasn't allowed to use it in a semi-serious discussion would be sort of hypocritical considering the number of names she's called him.]

Then what is it if not stuck?

[She shakes her head. Nope you didn't hear anything Dante. She said absolutely nothing.]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[alwayspenetrated]

Well, it's the opportunity to do something for you so...being 'stuck' implies that I wouldn't enjoy it.

[To be clear: He wouldn't enjoy either of those options, but it's worth it for his Lady.]

[Trollfacing so hard right now. He leans towards her and pokes her shoulder.]

Ah-ah-ah, can't pull the wool over old Dante's eyes! C'mon Lady, what'd you mean~?

[patricided]

[See that face she's making? That's her I highly doubt that face.]

Old being the operative word here.

[So much for them having a moment.]

[alwayspenetrated]

[Dante frowns, he clearly doesn't like that one bit.]

Now, now. Don't get mad at me because as guys age we become 'distinguished' while women turn into 'hags'.

[...Dante, I suggest you start running.]

[patricided]

I don't look like a hag. And distinguished isn't quite the word I'd use for you either.

[Running might be a good idea, her hand is definitely twitching for her side arm.]

Here it comes...

[alwayspenetrated]

[Dante laughs, just a slight chuckle.]

Yeah, those descriptions don't seem to suit us, no.

Me, I'm more drop-dead sexy.

[He glances to Lady.]

You, I'd say you're.........heh, yeah - you're definitely an angel.

Re: I think he just won the internet

[patricided]

[And she's just gonna facepalm cause Dante hot as you are no one likes a conceited half-demon.]

.............

[Okay that was possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to her and she might be blushing a little. Just a little like this much.]

Re: Loving this moment so much!!

[alwayspenetrated]

[Cue the shit-eating grin.]

What's that? Is the great and powerful Lady rendered speechless by the oh-so-charming, ever-irresistible Dante?

Re: Loving all of this so much!

[patricided]

Oh shut up will you. Or I might think you want me to shoot you in the head again.

[As if to remind him she is armed, her hand takes a good grip on her pistol and undoes the snap of it's holster.]