bored and restless muse is bored and restless and MEAN

[nerdylilspidey]

This number's for you, mun-gal! Don't thank me; Consider it your reward for keeping me out of trouble.

By. Y'know. Keeping me away from everything ever.

Soooooooo yeah. This is totally a reward. Don't make it weird by questioning it.

[Wait. What--]

Doo da da doo da da doo--
And I need you~

[Seriously?]

Doo da da DOO DA DA DOO!
And I miss you~

Doo da doo doo da do--
And now I won-der~

If I should FALL! Into the sky...
Do you think TIME! Would pass me by, ohhhhh~

'Cause you know I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES
If I could just... see... yoooou...

TONIGHT~

[Stop punishing me, Spidey. :(]

Comments

[hackrobatic]

[Why is he talking to Spider-Man about underwear and superhero costumes.] Have you tried boxers?

[He'll have to clear that with Batman first. Gotta clear everything with Batman.] We do missions all the time. Usually just in Gotham, unless the League calls the Team out for a covert one. I'll see what I can do.

[So much line face over here.] The other versions of me either wear green tights, or a speedo.

[nerdylilspidey]

[Because it's Spider-Man. Conversations with him always go goofy.] Yeah, but like. It bunches. So there's that.

Can I fake a League call to just you??

......... Speedo. Like. Speedo and then just bare legs?

[hackrobatic]

Go commando? [SHRUG. His suit is made of like the best stretchy fabric money can buy, so he has no issues like this.]

Probably not. I mean, unless you can somehow hack into the system. [...] Which I strongly advise against since I got busted for doing that once.

[SHUDDERS.] Yes. Like that.

[nerdylilspidey]

One word for ya: Chafing. [Well, see. If Spidey could get a suit made out of whatever you've got, then...]

How about I just wave my arms in the air and yell "HELP ME, ROBIN!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!!"?

.... Wow. Yikes. Uh- Good thing you're not that guy.

[hackrobatic]

Well, then I don't know what to tell you. It's not like there's superhero 101 on this. [Talk to Batman, he buys it all.]

Then the League is either going to think you're nuts, or a damsel in distress. And I'd really rather not deal with the teasing from KF on that.

You have no idea how lucky I feel sometimes.

[nerdylilspidey]

Y'know, a lot of the time, I really wish there was.

I can wear a dress. With frills. Will that help?

I think I can imagine, at least. It's probably how lucky I wish I felt.

[hackrobatic]

You could ask Flash for tips. He's got a costume like yours.

[Spidey, are you serious.] No. I really don't want to have to answer the questions I'll get for that. Especially from Batman.

What, is the superhero thing not going so well?

[nerdylilspidey]

His isn't Batman endorsed too, is it?

[It's Spidey. It's hard to say.] Too sharp to be fooled by that, huh?

Nah, it's going great. It's more the, y'know, life thing that could be going a whole lot better.

[hackrobatic]

He wears bright red. Does that answer your question? [If it's Batman endorsed, it's not colorful.]

Okay, let's list the number of things wrong with that situation. A superhero dressed as a spider in a dress calling my name. Do you have any idea how much the League would judge me for that.

[Ohhhh, he sympathizes with you there.] Man, I know how that feels. Real life always seems harder than superhero life.

[nerdylilspidey]

... It does, actually. [He hadn't really thought about it before, but that's totally true.]

Okay okay-- What if we nix the dress and frills and wig and everything and I just- What if I call and say "Gotham City dudes, I need help over in New York and the Ultimates/Avengers are being stubborn as usual"??

Seriously. High school and girls and- everything is just. Gimme a costumed supervillain before any of it.

[hackrobatic]

You two would probably get along. But yeah, you can ask him about costume things.

[Let him think on that for a sec.] Yeah, that could work. But uh, better do it when an actual baddie is in the city. Otherwise Batman'll just glare at you. [You do not want to be a victim of the Batglare.]

Right!? We can take down freaks from other planets, but a stupid history test can beat us! [He's not touching the bit about girls because he got to make out with a magician on New Year's.]

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, I'm all for making new friends and bonding over costume troubles.

Well, it's New York. I'm sure finding a time when a baddie is actually out and about won't be hard.

[Anything to do with anything about girls, whether it's getting them or dealing with them or whatever, counts as life stuff that needs dealing with.] Or realizing you've got an English essay that's due in 2 hours in the middle of dealing with some guy trying to take over the city, and you haven't even thought about it.

[hackrobatic]

That could be for like half of the League.

Sounds like... basically any other city a superhero lives in.

[Spidey, do you need some help, because Rob is more than willing to.] Or worse, you've got a final project due, and you're in the middle of the desert trying to stop some crazy dude with a death ray! [OR BEAM, HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.] Can't the bad guys ever just calm down for like a week?

[nerdylilspidey]

I could make friends with a whole league.

Well- Yeah. But, y'know, the point is, I'm sure we'll be under attack soon enough, the Ultimates will be preoccupied, and I'll be in over my head. So.

[Well, if he could get one of the other girls who still like him to go out with someone else....] Or when you're trapped on Psycho Island with no ride home on a Monday morning when it's finals, and you've been there all weekend with no chance to study. Uuuuuugh, that drives me nuts.

[hackrobatic]

Yep! Nice thought, huh? Being pals with the coolest superheroes ever.

Man, that sounds like me. [Except replace "Ultimates" with "didn't bother to wait for the League".] I can totally help you out there.

[Some of the superheroes are still single...] Sometimes I wish time would just stop for one life so we could finish saving the world, and not have to worry about flunking. We go through way too much, and really deserve a little break.

[nerdylilspidey]

And being pals with them is way better than like, "getting taught how to not be terrible by the coolest superheroes ever."

Awesome. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate to drag people into my messes, but. When it's not my mess and it's like, Godzilla or the thing from Cloverfield that I'm dealing with, I'm all for sending out the S.O.S.

Oh man. You'd think you could get some kind of pass that you could wave at the principal and just be like- "This thing here? Means I get no deadlines. On anything. Ever. And class attendance is optional. I am, at the very least, allowed to pass my classes."

[hackrobatic]

Actually? Batman training me is what got me to be pals with them. Sort of a win win situation.

No, dude, trust me, Spidey, I get it. Some robots or aliens or monsters or evil scientists call for a little backup. And it's not like anyone's gonna judge you for it.

Seriously! We save their butts who knows how many times, then they stick us with extra homework or detention. If only a pass like that actually existed and worked.

[nerdylilspidey]

That's totally what I was hoping my training would end up being! But it, uh. It wasn't. Not so much.

Less judging is good. I'm so on board with less judging.

Oh, my God, that'd be awesome. I think we need to talk to our governments about getting this done. Totally top secret ultra confidential stuff, but- make it happen.

[hackrobatic]

Did they kick you out or something?

Pretty sure a lot of people are.

Yes! We're helping them out, asking for just a little something like help with school isn't too much to ask for, right?

[nerdylilspidey]

No, uh... It's kind of-- It's a whole thing. You don't wanna know. [read: spoilers???]

Y'know, they could at least like, do some kind of financial aid thing. That should be a thing when you're going to college. "Superhero- Check. Financial aid granted."

[hackrobatic]

... you know, after hearing about the stuff you went through, I think you deserve to train with Black Canary. [You've earned it, Spidey.

Robin is kind of the adopted son of a billionaire, so. The money thing ain't a problem. FAKE IT.] If they could just set us up for college, that'd be even better. "Oh, you wanted to go to this university? Congrats, you're in."

[nerdylilspidey]

Well, it's-- I mean, it's kind of your responsibility when you're a superhero, right? Doing the right thing to help people no matter what? It's not like I did anything more special than that.

[... WELL. WHEN YOU'RE MIDDLE CLASS LIKE PETER-] I... Hmm. Well like- I actually. Kinda. Wanna feel like I earned the spot in my school. [He pauses, scratching his head.] ...Is that weird??

[hackrobatic]

That's the first thing Batman taught me, yeah. And honestly, I think you're pretty amazing for being able to do this superhero gig without someone to train you. And do it really well. But Black Canary taught us a lot about fighting, and it could help you out a lot, too. Better yourself to better protect your city, right?

[... Spidey, you're kinda adorable. Have a pat on the shoulder.] Dude, you dress up like a spider. Nothing you ever say or do is as weird as that. I say that's cool of you. [Now if only he knew your secret identity, he could talk to Bruce about giving you a scholarship.]

[nerdylilspidey]

Honestly? It's more like-- I dunno, it's some warped kind of luck I have, I think. Like, normal life sucks, but somehow I stumbled through the superhero stuff well enough. Anyway, it's- I wouldn't say no to more training. It'd help a lot.

[Sob that would be such an awesome thing.] Actually, I think attaching an extra set of arms to the suit would be weirder than that.

[hackrobatic]

You can call me a jerk for saying this, but it's probably for the best your superhero life works out better. We may get ticked off that things go wrong in our regular lives, but we're happy the city stays safe. And I'll talk to BC and see if she'd like to train you.

[He would totally do it, too!] That'd definitely make you more like an actual spider man. Miss M can make more arms, too, and I gotta say, it'd look cool.