and he's back.

[shaves]

That was a little abrupt. Not that I'm complaining, a short leave of absence to recharge your batteries or more specifically, mine, can't argue with the logic behind that if it puts me in the long-term penthouse. You could still make it up to me, obviously. Those little Twisties things they sell near you? Toss a dozen in a box, send them my way and we'll call it even. You should probably send some to Pepper and Bruce, too. Add red and green sprinkles respectively, they'll love that. It won't look too Christmas-y, will it? Actually, scratch that, get the red glaze and make the topping yellow, nobody can complain about Sorry I Vanished gifts that present the universally delicious task of licking Iron Man themed pastries.

Arguably, I could have been doing something more constructive with my time than spending it in the garage for a couple of months. I've been relaxing, cut me some slack. Look what's coming up for me! I think I deserve a Get Out Of Jail Free card before the whole messy business hits home.

This was not my fault, you can't blame a guy for holding him in indentured servitude. Where are my chocolate Twisties?

Comments

[hulkbusted]

You've been alone with the AIs for too long if you're equating pastries with lunch.

I hope I at least get a look at what you've been working on.

[shaves]

Lunch has had an amorphous meaning lately, the time isn't a fixed point in the day. Don't be picky.

Technically you've already seen it, just premature to its actual completion. It's a little mind-blowing, I won't dress it down. I'm optimistic.

[hulkbusted]

Knowing you, food has an amorphous meaning lately.

You're optimistic. So, on a scale of one to Loki, how bad are things going to get?

[shaves]

That's not a very fair scale to play with, nothing I do will be Loki-levels of messed up. Eighty, even ninety-percent certain.

[hulkbusted]

Try not to get yourself killed. The Other Guy would be... peeved.

[shaves]

Bruce, c'mon, I'm not going to kick the bucket. Look at me, I'm a picture of health and undeniably charm.

[hulkbusted]

You're 80-90% certain of that. Good. That's good. I feel reassured.

[shaves]

Be reassured. I'll, I don't know, I'll eat a banana in front of you to prove I'm fit as a fiddle and not battling the effects of scurvy. That fly?

[hulkbusted]

Now you're just trying to distract me.

[shaves]

You wound me, doctor, you wound me deeply.

[hulkbusted]

If you think I'm going to apologize, you've been sucking too many fumes down in the garage.

[shaves]

I'll just have to confiscate your pastries, then.

[hulkbusted]

No, they're my apology pastries to eat or not eat as I choose.

I'd offer to cook you dinner, but I'm worried nutrition might be too much of a shock to your system.

[shaves]

Wait, you were? What were you going to cook? You're just trying to distract me.

[hulkbusted]

You'll be surprised to learn that hot dogs weren't on the menu.

[veryastute]

Sir, please don't blame me for Mister Stark's atrocious diet.

[hulkbusted]

I was thinking more about U and Dum-E. Nutrition seems to have been omitted from their programming, an oversight that can only be traced back to their programmer.

[veryastute]

Mister Stark is often enough to drive any AI to drink.

[shaves]

Hey, rude boy. Whose side are you on?

[veryastute]

I would never dream of straying from you, Sir. You did, however, deign to give me an unfortunate--for you--understanding of sarcasm.

[shaves]

Yeah, you're lucky I can't be bothered to erase that. At least tell Bruce I eat better than Hammer, JARVIS, don't hang me out to dry here.

[hulkbusted]

Are you trying to enlist JARVIS to lie for you?

[shaves]

No.

[veryastute]

It would hurt your feelings if I couldn't snark at you, Sir.

[shaves]

A good-looking guy who surrounds himself with a sadistic AI starved for sass. Sounds like the plot of Short Circuit.