and he's back.

[shaves]

That was a little abrupt. Not that I'm complaining, a short leave of absence to recharge your batteries or more specifically, mine, can't argue with the logic behind that if it puts me in the long-term penthouse. You could still make it up to me, obviously. Those little Twisties things they sell near you? Toss a dozen in a box, send them my way and we'll call it even. You should probably send some to Pepper and Bruce, too. Add red and green sprinkles respectively, they'll love that. It won't look too Christmas-y, will it? Actually, scratch that, get the red glaze and make the topping yellow, nobody can complain about Sorry I Vanished gifts that present the universally delicious task of licking Iron Man themed pastries.

Arguably, I could have been doing something more constructive with my time than spending it in the garage for a couple of months. I've been relaxing, cut me some slack. Look what's coming up for me! I think I deserve a Get Out Of Jail Free card before the whole messy business hits home.

This was not my fault, you can't blame a guy for holding him in indentured servitude. Where are my chocolate Twisties?

Comments

[hulkbusted]

[Go ahead and stay hyper-focused. If Tony branched out he'd just be even more dangerous.]

I'm never going to be comfortable with the superhero label. That's you and Steve. And Thor I guess.

[shaves]

Thor is an alien, which will never not be funny. Steve is Mr. Commander, he has to be superfied, obviously I'm the poster boy for this band of misfits. You can be too, if the world decides it no longer wants cameras or press conferences to bug you.

[hulkbusted]

Thor is an alien. A big, blond, fratboy alien. That will never not be weird.

As for me, I'm just going to stay out of the limelight as much as possible. Superheroes don't make curry, they put on shiny suits of one kind or another and go be heroic.

[shaves]

[ lMFIGKD BEST. Fratboy. ]

You're already shiny.

[hulkbusted]

Is that supposed to be flattery?

[Eat your curry.]

[shaves]

[ It's very spicy! If he eats it too fast it'll be gone. ]

It was, we need to sharpen your edges.

[hulkbusted]

[Tch, Tony's tastebuds need toughening up.]

I'm not sure how shiny is a compliment and you don't want my edges sharp. Trust me on that.

[shaves]

[ This is really good food, psh, he isn't wolfing it down only to want more in ten seconds. If it was shitty-but-nice take-out, he'd neck it, but this is Banner!made. Tony's going to appreciate this home-cooked meal. ]

I wouldn't worry about it, you're kind of cuddly for the most part. [ nomnom. ] I don't know, you look like someone I want to take a nap on all the time.

[hulkbusted]

I think you'd tell the Hulk he was cuddly too. You may have some bias.

[Bruce thinks the food's good, but then again, it's made to his tastes.]

[shaves]

I'd tell him if I was in the suit and prepared for his reaction, sure.

[hulkbusted]

I think he would be as careful with you as he was with Betty if you weren't in the suit.

[shaves]

Not being crushed like a tin of beans is the most romantic thing you've said to me all day.

[hulkbusted]

You know how it is, magnify my emotions ten or a hundred times and take out the social filters and you have the Other Guy.

That's why I think he'll always have your back.

[shaves]

I didn't really hear any of that, I just watched your lips move.

[hulkbusted]

[Just the most long-suffering sigh.]

A relationship built on mutual respect. Right.

[shaves]

That goes without saying, obviously.

[ Can't be mad with this smile, can you? C'mon, Bruce. Bruuuuce. ]

[hulkbusted]

[He not m-- not any madder than usual. Just not giving Tony too easy a time of it.]

So why are you staring at my lips? Do I need a napkin?

[Fishing.]

[shaves]

[ Doctor Banner is as subtle as a brick to the face when he fishes, ftr. It's very endearing and all Tony can do not to call him out on it. ]

Do I need a reason? We're a little beyond 'why is my boyfriend staring at me like he wants to eat me', I think.

[hulkbusted]

[Fishing for compliments? Tony's bad habits must be rubbing off on him.]

My boyfriend's been in an intense relationship with his suit lately.

[shaves]

You look very pretty today, dear.

[ Just can't be serious, this is adorable. ]

[hulkbusted]

[He's trying not to crack a smile and failing.]

I thought you were better at this.