Voice Test

[infinitemayonnaise]

Alright...I know no one could resist having me in their head, but lady, there's no way this is going to work. What am I going to eat up here? There aren't any Phantoms! I'll starve!

Even if that wasn't going to be a problem, maybe, maybe this could work, but I can't hang around in a headspace like yours for very long. I can't believe I'm having to stay in a headspace like this at all!

You...you DON'T LIKE MAYONNAISE.

[Which is clearly the worst thing anyone ever could do to him, given the way he's reacting.]

So just buy me lunch, forget about me, and we'll pretend this never happened. Deal?

Comments

[plainsugar]

Why would she waste money on you?

[infinitemayonnaise]

It's the least she could do after dragging me away to a place where I might starve!

[sinistraljoker]

What's mayonnaise have to do with anything?

[infinitemayonnaise]

What's...what's mayonnaise have to do with anything?!

[He'll just whip out that bottle he carries around with him everywhere.]

It's the greatest food EVER! I can't possibly have a mun who doesn't like it!

[sinistraljoker]

[Insert a nice and dumbfounded face here.]

Y-you carry it around with you? Doesn't it spoil?

[infinitemayonnaise]

Why would it spoil? I'm gonna eat it fast enough that it won't!

[sinistraljoker]

This guy.......

Look....

[infinitemayonnaise]

Huh? What's your problem?

[A grown man hugging a bottle of mayonnaise is perfectly normal, he'll have you know.]

[sinistraljoker]

Your mun is just trying to see how you'd interact with others: to get you out there in new and strange situations. Their food tastes has nothing to do with your relationship.

Meaning you have much worse to worry about than just THAT.

[infinitemayonnaise]

...more to worry about than my next meal?

How much worse are you talking?

[sinistraljoker]

Depends on where you get sent really.

The last place mine sent me was some kind of creepy town where people could be instantly brainwashed without contact with the people in charge.

[infinitemayonnaise]

[Well, that certainly sounds miserable. Nitou looks uncertain for a moment.]

So this can be dangerous?

[He considers this, then laughs.]

Hah! And here I thought I wouldn't be finding any opportunity up here!

[sinistraljoker]

Very much so. There...

[He'll pause as he takes in what Nitou just said.]

Well..you certainly changed your tune fast....

[infinitemayonnaise]

Hey, I'm just trying to find what opportunity I can in a dangerous situation!

[Because he is certainly still unhappy about this whole thing.]

[sinistraljoker]

Well...I suppose that's a good thing.

[infinitemayonnaise]

Of course turning danger into opportunity is a good thing!

[juicy_hamburger]

Hmm... What's so bad about getting inside of a woman's head?

[infinitemayonnaise]

There's nothing to eat up here, and the company's pretty boring.

[juicy_hamburger]

I see... You want to eat mayonaise, and you find the company of women boring...

[infinitemayonnaise]

No, no, no, no! I didn't say I found the company of women boring, just not this woman! And there are a bunch of dudes up here...it's crowded!

[Can't deny that he wants to eat mayonnaise, though.]

[juicy_hamburger]

Ah... I know what you mean. I think my team could use a few more women on it...

[infinitemayonnaise]

I wouldn't mind if there were more cute girls around, that's for sure. It's such a drag being stuck around a bunch of other men for that long.

[can_fall_no_lower]

...what's 'mayonnaise'? [His eyes go from brown to blue. You're a curiously over the top human, aren't you? At 6"9, Alisdair requires a lot of food, so he'll just clarify,] I have found if you don't think about it, you don't require food in headspace.

[infinitemayonnaise]

What's mayonnaise?! WHAT'S MAYONNAISE?!

It's only the greatest food ever!

[And he will whip out the bottle he always carries around with him and squirt mayonnaise all over a donut. Yes, a donut. Because mayo goes great on everything.]

Here! Try it!

I hope you're right about not needing food up here, man, because otherwise, I'm in trouble.

[can_fall_no_lower]

...is it safe for non-humans? [You are everything wrong and wonderful with your civilization, good sir.]

It's been days and I haven't even felt hungry. You should be fine.

[infinitemayonnaise]

Of course it's safe for non-humans! Go on, try it!

[Doesn't that mayo-covered donut look delicious? There is probably more mayonnaise than donut there.]

But if I don't eat the mana of Phantoms, the Chimera inside me is gonna eat me instead!

[can_fall_no_lower]

[No. No, it doesn't. And it smells vile.]

...mana? Phantoms? I thought you were human.

[infinitemayonnaise]

[He seems a little indignant.]

Of course I'm human! But I ran into a couple of problems at an archaeological site and now I'm a wizard!

[He's just going to take a bite of that donut since it's a shame to let such good food go to waste.]

[can_fall_no_lower]

A wizard.

[Magic isn't real. What the what.]

[infinitemayonnaise]

Of course I'm a wizard. Look, I'll show you!

[And he'll put on two rather large, gaudy rings. He passes one over his belt buckle, and the belt talks.]

DRIVER ON!

[A fancier belt appears around his waist, and now there's a little bit of posing.]

Henshin!

[He sticks the other ring into the side of the belt, and it pops open, revealing a golden lion face. The belt continues making a ridiculous amount of noise, almost as though it were some sort of toy.]

SET!
OPEN!
L-I-O-N! LI-ON!

[As that happens, a golden circle of magic energy appears from the belt and passes over Nitou, transforming him into Kamen Rider Beast.]

See?

[can_fall_no_lower]

...is this what 'wizards' look like on Earth?

[infinitemayonnaise]

Sure it is!

[His Earth, anyway. He doesn't know about others.]

It's not a robe and pointy hat like they tell you in the movies.

[bearerofhope]

You know, forgetting about you probably wouldn't be any good either. Then you'd really starve.

[infinitemayonnaise]

But I thought if she forgot about me, then I could get out of here!

[What do you mean, he's stuck here?]

[bearerofhope]

Not a chance. Once you're here, you're stuck unless they decide to send you somewhere. Then you just get to stay in limbo.

If you go somewhere, you'd probably starve too. Phantoms don't exist where I'm at now.

[infinitemayonnaise]

[Stuck without food? This is the WORST.]

So I'm either stuck up here with no way out or I'm gonna starve to death?

[bearerofhope]

Something like that. There's always alternatives. You could find another mana source if she decides to put your somewhere, or you could find a place with Phantoms. Maybe if you put on a cute face, she'll feel sorry for you.

[infinitemayonnaise]

Yeah, but how will I know if that mana source is going to work as well as a Phantom?

[He's not looking forward to the future experimentation that's going to come from this, that's for sure.]

I've tried cute faces, man, it's like they have no effect on her!

[bearerofhope]

You'll just have to try and hope for the best.

She's probably used to it, then. Looks like you really are out of luck.

[infinitemayonnaise]

Ahhh, it's going to take some work to find any opportunity in this...