Denying certain accusations

[hugeparasites]

I do not look like a pretty boy elf! Elves aren't even man enough to grow beards!

[Let's just ignore the fact that Kili doesn't have much of a beard at all going for him, certainly not in comparison to his dwarf kin]

How dare you insult me in such a manner, wench!

Comments

[poorfatbombur]

[Bombur listens to the younger dwarf and calmly finished his slice of cake before speaking.]

Bit skinny, lad.

[hugeparasites]

[He pauses in the middle of his rant to stare at Bombur before chuckling quietly to himself]

I'm not skinny, I'm spry. We can't all be as large as you, Bombur.

[poorfatbombur]

Aye... ye can't. [He smiles good-naturedly and starts on his second slice of cake. Mmm... cake. Definitely not sharing any with Kili if he could help it.]

Don't ye worry about bein' too pretty. How'd ye think I landed meself a wife? [Mrs Bombur had a fairly unique taste in men.]

[bow_of_the_galadhrim]

I take offense to that, little one. We're simply physically incapable of growing beards and that is not something I would ever dream of complaining about. Iluvatar created us this way for a reason.

[Siiiigh.]

And you really should not be so crude to your scribe. Else she does something terrible to you.

[hugeparasites]

[He's an elf. Kili is a dwarf. Of course he's going to argue just for the sake of arguing]

Don't call me little one, you smooth-faced elf.

[Oh, Thorin had taught him well his hate for the elven kind]

I'll speak to my scribe as I wish. I'm the one in charge here!

[He's just so young and stubborn]

[bow_of_the_galadhrim]

[Wow, you are so good at insults, Kili.]

You are shorter than I am and I've called hobbits little ones as well. Do not be so sensitive to it.

[Dammit Thorin! Why couldn't Legolas befriend Gimli in your time?]

And yet you are the one trapped here in this place with a rather degrading username.

[ringmage]

[Ugh, what is this creature? It looks vaguely like a Popori, except less fur.]

You there.

[He points towards the dwarf in a nonchalant manner.]

Even if you somehow magically rearranged your face, you still wouldn't be half as handsome as the homeliest Baraka.

[anheirofdurin]

And you couldn't grow a beard if you tried. Look at you, tiny nose and all - you're no looker yourself, now are you?

[Don't pick on his brother.]

/oh fili!

[ringmage]

What?

[He gives the other significantly fuzzier creature a slight glare.]

You are one to talk with those ridiculous braids within your hair. They look unkempt and littered with dirt.

[anheirofdurin]

Nothing like an elf!

[Fíli is equally indignant on his brother's behalf]

Cheer up. Mother says Uncle didn't have anything but wisps until he was at least 80. You'll get there eventually.

[hugeparasites]

[He's always been secretly jealous of his brother's beard. They were only five years apart and look at the difference!]

Mother almost didn't let me come on this quest! Just because I don't have a full beard yet means nothing.

[Yes, it's time for him to scowl]

[anheirofdurin]

[Yes, only five years, but Fíli took after their Da's side more than their mother's line.]

She didn't want to let me come, either, until Uncle talked to her. Cheer up, little brother! [slings an arm around his brother's shoulders, lightly bumps their heads together]

[sonof_thrain]

No, you do not look like a pretty boy elf, Kili. You look like a Durin and a strong nephew of mine. [Was that a smirk under his beard? Perhaps.]

[hugeparasites]

Aye, I do!

[Well there was no denying that Kili took more after his mother's side then his brother, what with his dark hair and the beginnings of whiskers on his cheeks]

I'm just tired of others saying I'm too pretty to be a dwarf!

[sonof_thrain]

Too pretty? We do not wish to be pretty, Kili. But brave. Pretty is for the elves. A vain lot they are. [He grunted.]

You will gain your beard soon enough. I gained mine when I was around eighty. Give or take.

[oldest_brother]

Whoever said that, brother? You are gaining a beard slowly but you'll get there. Having a nice beard like mine one day.

[hugeparasites]

Others. My mun specifically.

[Brother, why can't he have a beard like yours right now? He'd always been envious of Fili]

We're only five years apart!

[oldest_brother]

Aye, five years but you still look like a boy, Kili. [He teased.]

When you reach my age, you will become a man. Girls like dwarves with long beards.

[daughter_of_the_wood]

Indeed you don’t. Just because male elves do not have facial hair like you, does not give you the right to insult them.

[hugeparasites]

I have a right to insult them as much as I like. Cowardly lot, they are. Even our women are manlier then they.

[He had learned his Uncle's hatred of the elves]

[unexpected_adventures]

Hobbits don't grow beards, Kili. It doesn't mean we are any less manly. [He coughed politely.]

[hugeparasites]

[Ah, yes. He hasn't fully gotten used to having a Hobbit in the midst of their group, but at least he looks apologetic]

No it does not. Apologies, Mr. Baggins.

[He's just learned to emulate his uncle's hatred of the elves]

:)

[lord_of_moria]

Be patient laddie, it will not be long before you have one. I wouldn’t take much notice of it, if I were you.

[hugeparasites]

That's easy for you to say, you've a grand beard of your own.

[The longer the beard, the more respected the dwarf]

[markofdeath]

That's a compliment. Our men have too good a sense of hygiene to grow beards.