birthday boy wants presents ~

[dealwith_them]

STFU, don't try pull out numbers on me.

You know what they say, doll. Men ripen like alcohol. The older, the better the fucking. Experience and all that shit.

So. Best present this year? A high class hooker. And she better look a-fucking-lot like this. With straw and coke and all. Fucking yum. Don't you just want to fucking eat that? Beats a cake.

Better start working on that, like right now. I'm so horny I'm gonna fucking die.

LOL, I'd rather die fucking.

Comments

[population_ctrl]

Dear God, that's ugly!

[dealwith_them]

What the fuck, it's Milla Fucking Jovovich. She's hot shit.

[population_ctrl]

She looks like a trash can.

[dealwith_them]

Yeah, so?

[population_ctrl]

A bit above your usual standards, really.

[dealwith_them]

Oh STFU, shitwit. Didn't I, like, hook you up with your first girlfriend or something. She lasted a while, would've lasted longer if you hadn't busted her nose.

[centeroftheweb]

Aw, if I'd known it was the puppy's birthday, I'd have sent a present.

[dealwith_them]

Still got the chance. Just include the fucking return address.

[centeroftheweb]

That'd be all the present you'd need, right?

[dealwith_them]

Just a shitty envelope, pretty boy. Would make my day.

[centeroftheweb]

Well. I don't thing the birthday fairy will be granting your wishes this year.

1/2

[dealwith_them]

Boo.

[dealwith_them]

I'd have picked you the man to be able to get me a hooker that looks like Jovovich, though. Itsy Bitsy Spidey.

[winter_raven]

Of all the things you could get for your birthday, you want something you can get any old time you like? Seriously? Birthdays are supposed to be for things you want, but can't get normally.

[dealwith_them]

You know how much fucking work it takes to get your hands on a whore that looks like pretty Milla?

[winter_raven]

A lot, I'd guess. Unless you know someone who can do a Seeming Spell.

[dealwith_them]

Don't tell me you're a frickin' Potter geek or something, doll.

[winter_raven]

[Grin.]

Better. I'm the Grand Lady of Winterhaven.

[lucrative_pink]

Bad choice.

[dealwith_them]

You're not a hooker. Couldn't choose you, principessa.

[lucrative_pink]

It is never wrong to try, doggy.

[dealwith_them]

I have a pink heart tattoo with your name, what the frickin' fuck do you want from me, woman?

[lucrative_pink]

Bastardo! I know every inch, it is ugly all over.

[idkworldruler]

That's it girl, think big.

[dealwith_them]

Can't think bigger than a good pair of fake tits.