birthday boy wants presents ~

[dealwith_them]

STFU, don't try pull out numbers on me.

You know what they say, doll. Men ripen like alcohol. The older, the better the fucking. Experience and all that shit.

So. Best present this year? A high class hooker. And she better look a-fucking-lot like this. With straw and coke and all. Fucking yum. Don't you just want to fucking eat that? Beats a cake.

Better start working on that, like right now. I'm so horny I'm gonna fucking die.

LOL, I'd rather die fucking.

Comments

[winter_raven]

A lot, I'd guess. Unless you know someone who can do a Seeming Spell.

[dealwith_them]

Don't tell me you're a frickin' Potter geek or something, doll.

[winter_raven]

[Grin.]

Better. I'm the Grand Lady of Winterhaven.

[dealwith_them]

So, LotR?

[winter_raven]

Not even close, Birthday Boy. Try again.

[dealwith_them]

Okay, you're the fucking Wizard of Oz.

[winter_raven]

[Now, she's out and out laughing.]

Do I look as sadistic as Glinda the Good Witch?

[dealwith_them]

Hey, you can't tell from looks. The girls next fucking door always make the best porn stars.

[winter_raven]

Wouldn't know, since I don't swing that way. I'll have to take your word on that, Birthday Boy.

So. Seeming Spell. You want one? One-time offer, one-time use.

[She digs around in her purse and pulls out a spool of silver thread.]

[dealwith_them]

[His eyes narrow. He's seen a lot of weird things in his life. Knows to trust very few of them. Pulling out his gun, he remains relaxed. Mostly. Weapon by his side.]

Better be careful now, doll.

[winter_raven]

[She holds out the thread slowly in her gloved hand, eyes flicking between his and the gun.]

It's thread. You can buy it at the fabric store. I haven't done anything to it yet. Until I weave it, it's just thread.

[dealwith_them]

[Weave it -- what? Raising an eyebrow, he just remains in place. Laid-back. Sure, little crazy chick.]

Whatever. Do your thing.

[winter_raven]

Father would so kill me if he knew I was doing this.

[But she unrolls a good length of thread, snaps it off, and begins knotting it, making something that looks like a cat's cradle. All the while, she's mumbling something that's a cross between half a dozen languages.]

You want Underworld Milla or 5th Element Milla?

[dealwith_them]

[Snort.]

I'm going for the leather.

[winter_raven]

[Smirk.]

However did I guess that.

[A few more knots and barely intelligible words, and she's made what looks kind of like a macrame spiders' web cum doily.]

Now, I did put a tester on it, if you want to see that it really works before I give it to you. So it's more of a one and a half time use.