On the D word. Also, Bacon.

[notintehkitchen]

Good luck with that, but I won't be joining you unless they make diet bacon that tastes as good as the real thing. Don't even start talking to me about turkey bacon, I accidentally bought it in Paradise one time and thought I was eating a tire. Why does turkey bacon even exist? It doesn't get crispy right like the real bacon does.

Comments

[notintehkitchen]

I do. I eat it with macaroni and cheese.

[pocketsurgeon]

Bacon und .. cheese?

[He can almost hear her arteries clogging from here.]

Do you ever eat vegetables?

[notintehkitchen]

Now why would I eat something that tastes bad like vegetables?

[She had them as a kid and sat at the dinner table for long periods of time refusing to eat them. Then again, she was certainly more skinny back when she couldn't afford to eat what she liked.]

[pocketsurgeon]

Vell because if you don't you vill probably die. You need ze vitamins und minerals from vegetables to survive.

Or else you vill get sick und nicht be able to carry your flamezrower.

[Which really isn't a bad thing for Medic.]

[notintehkitchen]

So I won't be able to kill BLUs with my flamethrower if I don't eat enough vegetables? It seems like it hasn't stopped me in the past.

[pocketsurgeon]

It's slowly building up. Und zen von day you vill just pass out and haff to be taken to ze hospital.

I'm surprised you don't haff scurvy or retinal destruction already.

[notintehkitchen]

That's because I'm invincible! There's nothing my body can't handle, even my beloved flames are but a kiss!

[Pyro sticks her chest out proudly.

Maybe she isn't invincible, but she sure is suicidal.]

[pocketsurgeon]

No von ist invincible Pyro. Even vhile Übered it's only limited.

I zink your time ein ze respawn vould beg to differ.

[notintehkitchen]

I don't spend that much time in respawn. Actually, I spend hardly any time at all because BLUs are a piece of cake to kill!

[pocketsurgeon]

Zat ist far from ze truzh Fräulein Pyro.

[notintehkitchen]

Well, I know I die a lot less then YOU do.

[pocketsurgeon]

You vould die just as much if it vas your job to follow ozer people und make sure zey aren't killed.

[notintehkitchen]

I watch over Engineer and make sure his sentries don't get destroyed. That's sorta the same thing.

[pocketsurgeon]

Herr Engineer ist ein ze back of ze battlefield. Go protect Scout und ve shall see how long you live.

[notintehkitchen]

But he runs too fast and I can't keep up with him. I also find it impossible to jump in midair.

[pocketsurgeon]

I .. vell..

[Alright, you have him there.]

Zat really should be impossible. Ze laws of physics prevent you from accelerating against nozing. I haff no idea how he ist doing zat.

[notintehkitchen]

Me neither, but I'm sure it was one of the reasons he was hired and not because of that huge mouth he has on him.

[pocketsurgeon]

I haff petitioned several times to be allowed to fix zat.

[notintehkitchen]

I'm guessing it was a no go.

[pocketsurgeon]

Nein. But if I vere to do it anyvay, und zey vere pleased viz ze results, vell ... zey can't complain zen, ja?

[notintehkitchen]

...

Go ahead and do it.

[You know you want to.]

[pocketsurgeon]

First ve need to find Herr Scout.

[He so wants to.]

[notintehkitchen]

That won't be too hard, we can lure one out with those soda drinks and promises of pancakes.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ja, zat vould vork splendidly.

I'll get ze chloroform.

[notintehkitchen]

I'll be waiting in breathless anticipation.