On the D word. Also, Bacon.

[notintehkitchen]

Good luck with that, but I won't be joining you unless they make diet bacon that tastes as good as the real thing. Don't even start talking to me about turkey bacon, I accidentally bought it in Paradise one time and thought I was eating a tire. Why does turkey bacon even exist? It doesn't get crispy right like the real bacon does.

Comments

[notintehkitchen]

So I won't be able to kill BLUs with my flamethrower if I don't eat enough vegetables? It seems like it hasn't stopped me in the past.

[pocketsurgeon]

It's slowly building up. Und zen von day you vill just pass out and haff to be taken to ze hospital.

I'm surprised you don't haff scurvy or retinal destruction already.

[notintehkitchen]

That's because I'm invincible! There's nothing my body can't handle, even my beloved flames are but a kiss!

[Pyro sticks her chest out proudly.

Maybe she isn't invincible, but she sure is suicidal.]

[pocketsurgeon]

No von ist invincible Pyro. Even vhile Übered it's only limited.

I zink your time ein ze respawn vould beg to differ.

[notintehkitchen]

I don't spend that much time in respawn. Actually, I spend hardly any time at all because BLUs are a piece of cake to kill!

[pocketsurgeon]

Zat ist far from ze truzh Fräulein Pyro.

[notintehkitchen]

Well, I know I die a lot less then YOU do.

[pocketsurgeon]

You vould die just as much if it vas your job to follow ozer people und make sure zey aren't killed.

[notintehkitchen]

I watch over Engineer and make sure his sentries don't get destroyed. That's sorta the same thing.

[pocketsurgeon]

Herr Engineer ist ein ze back of ze battlefield. Go protect Scout und ve shall see how long you live.

[notintehkitchen]

But he runs too fast and I can't keep up with him. I also find it impossible to jump in midair.

[pocketsurgeon]

I .. vell..

[Alright, you have him there.]

Zat really should be impossible. Ze laws of physics prevent you from accelerating against nozing. I haff no idea how he ist doing zat.

[notintehkitchen]

Me neither, but I'm sure it was one of the reasons he was hired and not because of that huge mouth he has on him.

[pocketsurgeon]

I haff petitioned several times to be allowed to fix zat.

[notintehkitchen]

I'm guessing it was a no go.

[pocketsurgeon]

Nein. But if I vere to do it anyvay, und zey vere pleased viz ze results, vell ... zey can't complain zen, ja?

[notintehkitchen]

...

Go ahead and do it.

[You know you want to.]

[pocketsurgeon]

First ve need to find Herr Scout.

[He so wants to.]

[notintehkitchen]

That won't be too hard, we can lure one out with those soda drinks and promises of pancakes.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ja, zat vould vork splendidly.

I'll get ze chloroform.

[notintehkitchen]

I'll be waiting in breathless anticipation.

[bring_the_beatdown]

[Not funny Pyro. And he thought you guys were friends.]