human mjolnir ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[toweighworth]

This concept is ghastly. There is no amount of magic in all the Realms that could turn my form from that of the most fearsome and reliable weapon in the universe to a man. There is no worth in this idea, madam, and you must end it here and now.

You cannot possibly attempt to understand the role I have played and will play until the end of the universe. One touch, mundane, and the entirety of a person's self is bestowed upon me, whether I wish it to be or not. The Greeks spoke of a primordial god who bore the entirety of the world upon his shoulders—even he would not understand. He was incapable of knowing the true value of all those upon it, or even the world itself.

This is foolish, and you a fool for thinking of doing it.

[mjolnir dude seriously there are comics where thor is a frog, stop pussyfooting around]

...it is not at all the same. Do not play stupid.

Comments

[colunderfire]

Muns tend to do some pretty stupid stuff. I'd get used to it.

[toweighworth]

I have no need to "get used to" anything, good sir. There is something that has no need in this situation and that is the idea of the hammer of the gods turned into a simple man.

[colunderfire]

Trust me, these mundanes go a bit above gods in our universes. There might not be a need, but that doesn't matter.

[toweighworth]

The idea is worthless; if there be no worth in such a thing, I need be nowhere near it.

There is greater need for me in my proper form.

[notjustinthemirror]

The lady upstairs is telling me you're supposed to be a hammer.

Funny, you don't look anything like a hammer.

[toweighworth]

Aye, the form of my creation is a hammer.

This vessel has no similarities to it, no.

[notjustinthemirror]

You look like a normal squishy human. Though being able to walk is probably better than laying around like... well like a hammer.

Think of all the fun things you can do now that you have arms!

[toweighworth]

[But being a hammer is the best thing ever! Because he's the best hammer ever!]

I had—and still have—things to do as "lay around" in the form I was crafted in. It would not have been done so were it not of use.

[norussianplz]

So you're a living weapon? That's what you're saying? Which one?

[toweighworth]

I am Mjölnir, a tool to be used for the greatest of destruction or the most exquisite of creation. I was created to strike firmly despite the aim, to never fail, to always return, and to be able to shrink to fit within the jacket of the almighty Thor.

So they say.

[norussianplz]

So they say? Don't you know for sure?

[toweighworth]

I do know, aye. I know what Mjölnir is, how he was crafted, his origins and legends and the battles he has fought alongside the god of thunder with.

What I do not know for certain, however, is what this is.

[He means being a human.]

[veryastute]

I find myself limited in my current form, as well, though I am certainly not a weapon.

ahhhh jarvis

[toweighworth]

There are men and women who have weapons that are functional bodies.

[Looks like they're both SOL on that one, huh?]

Your current form? What are you originally?

8')

[veryastute]

I am an artificial intelligence created by Mr Stark. I run his various houses and the Iron Man suit, as well as assist him in his work.

[toweighworth]

[Mister Stark is very rude.

But, whoa, assistant buddies. Friends. Mjölnir could handle friends, right?]

Without you, Sir Stark would not be capable of functioning, is that what you mean?

[manofiron]

I don't think you're looking at the big picture here, Mjolnir.

[toweighworth]

You should not have touched Thor, Sir Stark.

[. . .]

What is this big picture you speak of?

[manofiron]

Excuse you? I didn't touch Thor.

[ What the hell, man? ]

Having a body. Don't you realize how much fun you can have with that?

[olympic_lion]

[So the demon had this idea before he showed up. Doesn't matter, don't care.

Because Hercules will wrap an arm around his new hammer-man-buddy, shove a tankard into his hands, and start declaiming at you.] Ah, good Mjolnir! Mayhap this is a reward for all your proud and loyal service. After so many centuries causing death, the chance to truly taste life? Odin must offer lavish rewards indeed.

In truth, it should be Thor who provides your first drink- but lacking his presence, I've no doubt he would be glad I acted in his stead. So drink up, there's much revelry to be had!

[toweighworth]

[Oh my gods, is this actual alcohol? Is he being given alcohol, and from...someone not totally terrible to feel the weight of? What a twist!]

I—the Allfather is a great ruler, merciful when that is what is called for and merciless in—

[Wow this alcohol is like...burning. What even? What the Hel, man?]

[olympic_lion]

[This is BOOZE, and it is AMAZING. Learn it, love it, and then we'll find some foxy ladies to share it with!]

So he offered you mercy and a chance to try new things? 'Twould be a shame to waste it, then! We shall have to ensure you put your new body to good use.

[Say, you know what soothes that burning? Barbecued baby-back ribs. Here, have some!]

[chloroformedthejanitor]

Whoa, comparing yourself to Atlas? A little cocky there, aren't ya?

[toweighworth]

I have every right to be cocky about my origin, fair lady. I have grown and spent much time in the company of gods to assure you that it is, in fact, an accurate comparison.

[chloroformedthejanitor]

[Snorts.]

Okay, yeah, whatever. I think I've met enough crazy hobos to know when I'm being lied to.