human mjolnir ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[toweighworth]

This concept is ghastly. There is no amount of magic in all the Realms that could turn my form from that of the most fearsome and reliable weapon in the universe to a man. There is no worth in this idea, madam, and you must end it here and now.

You cannot possibly attempt to understand the role I have played and will play until the end of the universe. One touch, mundane, and the entirety of a person's self is bestowed upon me, whether I wish it to be or not. The Greeks spoke of a primordial god who bore the entirety of the world upon his shoulders—even he would not understand. He was incapable of knowing the true value of all those upon it, or even the world itself.

This is foolish, and you a fool for thinking of doing it.

[mjolnir dude seriously there are comics where thor is a frog, stop pussyfooting around]

...it is not at all the same. Do not play stupid.

Comments

[toweighworth]

[Valhalla is filled with dead warriors. Mjölnir is not at all offended if his sobriety gives them the blues.]

I believe I have spent enough time in the company of men to hold the conception of how to use fists when the need arises, yes.

[notjustinthemirror]

Uh huh. Sure. Watching humans do things isn't the same as finding out how to do them yourself. Or as fun.

You should celebrate your new squishy self by getting drunk and then fucking the first thing that says yes. Rinse and repeat.

[Or maybe that's just what he'd do if he was human. Eh, same difference.]

[toweighworth]

[Fighting, drinking, fucking...gosh.]

T'is not a thing for celebration, that must be stated. As for the idea of drinking and sexual rendezvouses...if this were to be an idea made like concrete, such a thing would not be the worst way to accommodate myself to the form, would it?

You're beautiful for this.

[notjustinthemirror]

[He thought the fighting went without saying.]

Now that's the spirit!

[He might just like this hammer-human thing after all!]

At least alcohol I have in endless supply. As for the other half, you're on your own there.

It takes two to tango, brosis.

[toweighworth]

[There aren't many people who don't like Mjölnir...mostly because they're dead ala him crashing through their skulls. Oops?]

The halls of Odin could contain a river of mead; there is no short supply of liquor where I hail from.

<3

[notjustinthemirror]

[That's not how you make friends. Or pick up women. Assuming you swing that way. POW, hammer pun. Oh ho ho. I'm so clever.]

A whole river. I'd love to see that.

[And swim in it. Assuming all that metal shit in his body didn't rust.]

You come from a place with a river of mead? And you were stuck being a hammer? Then this is a definite improvement.

♥!

[toweighworth]

[He swings in the direction of worth, always!]

Nay, not a river. There is enough that it would be possible for a river to be made. However, I believe many warriors would prove to be too distracted by it to of much worth in battle at any time needed.

[notjustinthemirror]

There's enough alcohol to make a river and all of them fight all the time.






...



.. I want your life.

[toweighworth]

[WELL NOW hee-hee or something]

There are always battles to be fought throughout the Nine Realms. It is only a matter of when Asgard needs to lay foot within one to keep chaos at bay.

[notjustinthemirror]

[If he was capable of being jealous he would be SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.]

The nine whats now?

[toweighworth]

[Jealousy is a thing that is very present in his life; please to not be of the bringing anymore into it. Please.]

The Nine Realms. Lands of the universe. Perhaps think of it as planets? Though there is more than one in each. Ah...a number on the infinite space and what is contained within it, each one its own separate universe.

[notjustinthemirror]

[WELL MAYBE HE WILL THEN.]

Are we getting all deep and existential here? Because I'm not so good with that.

Go back to the part about drinking and fighting.

[toweighworth]

[WELL MAYBE HE WILL CHOOSE TO IGNORE IT

AND NOT BE BURDENED BECAUSE IT'S WORTHLESS OR SOMETHING]

I do not think speaking of the universe as it is to be existential. Or deep.

What more is there to say?

[notjustinthemirror]

[Spoilsport.]

Nevermind. Let's get to the drinking and fighting here on this planet.

[Shoving you towards a bar-type place now. Does his life flash before your eyes? He's a demon so ENTIRELY UP TO YOU HAMMER-MAN.]