human mjolnir ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[toweighworth]

This concept is ghastly. There is no amount of magic in all the Realms that could turn my form from that of the most fearsome and reliable weapon in the universe to a man. There is no worth in this idea, madam, and you must end it here and now.

You cannot possibly attempt to understand the role I have played and will play until the end of the universe. One touch, mundane, and the entirety of a person's self is bestowed upon me, whether I wish it to be or not. The Greeks spoke of a primordial god who bore the entirety of the world upon his shoulders—even he would not understand. He was incapable of knowing the true value of all those upon it, or even the world itself.

This is foolish, and you a fool for thinking of doing it.

[mjolnir dude seriously there are comics where thor is a frog, stop pussyfooting around]

...it is not at all the same. Do not play stupid.

Comments

[olympic_lion]

[So the demon had this idea before he showed up. Doesn't matter, don't care.

Because Hercules will wrap an arm around his new hammer-man-buddy, shove a tankard into his hands, and start declaiming at you.] Ah, good Mjolnir! Mayhap this is a reward for all your proud and loyal service. After so many centuries causing death, the chance to truly taste life? Odin must offer lavish rewards indeed.

In truth, it should be Thor who provides your first drink- but lacking his presence, I've no doubt he would be glad I acted in his stead. So drink up, there's much revelry to be had!

[toweighworth]

[Oh my gods, is this actual alcohol? Is he being given alcohol, and from...someone not totally terrible to feel the weight of? What a twist!]

I—the Allfather is a great ruler, merciful when that is what is called for and merciless in—

[Wow this alcohol is like...burning. What even? What the Hel, man?]

[olympic_lion]

[This is BOOZE, and it is AMAZING. Learn it, love it, and then we'll find some foxy ladies to share it with!]

So he offered you mercy and a chance to try new things? 'Twould be a shame to waste it, then! We shall have to ensure you put your new body to good use.

[Say, you know what soothes that burning? Barbecued baby-back ribs. Here, have some!]

[toweighworth]

[It's not amazing (yet)! It burns and Mjölnir has bad memories with liquor and foxy ladies? Mjölnir has no desire to be with anyone like that, thank you kindly, much less a half-human half-animal hybrid what?]

I...I know naught what power brought me to this, other than the one behind the typing board.

[WOW THIS IS A LOT OF FOOD BUT HE HAS TO HAVE MANNERS RIGHT...!]