Hello, kiddies.

[gothams_joker]

Your dear Uncle Joker's back in town! Haha!

[He flops down, holding a bag of popcorn]

Y'know, it's nice being here. No Bats around who can stop me. True, I won't have the same fun, but it's a whole new playground to run around in. [He pops up a kernel and catches it between his teeth] Lemme tell you, it's refreshing being somewhere where very few people recognize your face.

I think I can make a big splash around here. [He holds up a hand in a theatrical aside] Hopefully with people's falling bodies, hahaha!

Look, you know what to do. Get out of the way and let me run rampant. I'm going to paint this place red and you're gonna let me. Because it's so much more fun that way, isn't it?

Comments

[minor_setback]

Random gratuitous slaughterings? Please. It's much more satisfying hearing the screams of your victims as you torture them.

[He's slightly a hypocrite with what he just said.]

I have a whole pile of Twilight fanfics lined up for everyone.

[gothams_joker]

Of course, but there's more than one way to torture someone. You don't even need to use the thumbscrews these days. It's all psychological.

[He sighs]

I miss the old-fashioned ways. A hammer to the finger joints, a simple car battery and jumpers! No respect for the classics.

[But, to the matter at hand]

And, hey, now and again, a good sudden murder is like punctuation. A literal punch-line! Heh heh heh...and then you've got the opportunity for a good line! Like 'they got the point', or 'that cut them short'. There's such a thing as showmanship, y'know.

[minor_setback]

Psychological torture has it's advantages, too, you know. Physical wounds can fade, but mental scars last forever, only being able to be buried. It will always be there, no matter how hard they try to get rid of the memories.

Hmm... You may have a point there. Killing random people may intimidate people, but I feel the need to make my killings meaningful.

[gothams_joker]

See? You send a message at the same time you inflict pain on others. It works on a lot of levels.

[He chews some popcorn]

Y'know, that whole Twilight thing. Good for business. Anything that makes people less wary of dark characters is, really.

[minor_setback]

It's not just the fact that it puts dark characters in a better light. There's something to be said for the level of hatred for both that book and the majority of fanfiction that exists.

AU Harley/Harleen :P

[byebye_mistah_j]

[It only took about three seconds of her having a shocked face before she whipped out a gun and pointed it at Joker's head.]

Joker.

[gothams_joker]

[He held up a hand, waving, his trademark grin firmly planted on his face. He's getting quite used to being in different universes and timelines. It's like Christmas every day, really.]

Ooooh, is that Dr.Quinzell? And with a firearm, no less. Will wonders never cease!

[byebye_mistah_j]

Well at least you have the decency to call me by my name.

[She decides she won't be killing him or trying to, considering he would just get back up later but she's keeping him at a distance with that gun.]

I'll give you some information to catch up. I was once Harley Quinn already but you decided you didn't need me any more and pulled the metaphorical rug out from under me. Told me absolutely everything and was ready to bash my head in. You never expected me to kill you first.

[gothams_joker]

[He yawned, folding his arms behind his head]

They let you be a doctor again? Sheesh, Arkham goes through doctors like Batman goes through ripped tights! Well, someone up there must be doing their job right.

Y'know, it's kinda funny. Even if you did kill me - and I've got some severe doubts on that score, maestro - you'd never be rid of me. You're my masterpiece, kiddo, a herald for me when you think about it. Ain't that a scream?

Oh, and Harley dear? If I told you everything, you wouldn't be standing there holding a gun like a security blanket.

[byebye_mistah_j]

Well no, not exactly but I prefer that old name to Harley. I was applying for a nursing job before I was brought here.

[Wait why was she tell him this? Whatever she had things to be angry about.]

What could you possibly have to tell me that would make me want to shoot you any less?

[killerinpinknblack]

Noki and Luki like your kind of fun, mister!

[killerinblacknpink]

We do! we do!

[gothams_joker]

Oh, goodie, a fan club! Ain't it grand! And I haven't even blown anything up, cut someone up, or gunned up a bank or anything. I think I'm gonna like it here.

[killerinblacknpink]

Luki wants to cut things up!

[gothams_joker]

[He flicks a wrist, and suddenly there's a straightrazor in it. He grins, evilly]

So do I.

This is Harley mun, thought I'd throw a second muse at you since I rarely see a Joker

[daughters_of_janus]

Now aren't you just deliciously insane kitten?

[She was already sauntering up to him with absolutely no fear.]

How would you feel about potentially being able to live forever with some perks? I think you're the perfect candidate.

[gothams_joker]

[He chuckles, sitting up.]

Oooh, mad scientist. That makes for an interesting evening.

[daughters_of_janus]

Nope, you have it wrong kitten.

[She smiles and leans against him.]

Vampire actually, but before you jump to conclusions, you could walk right into a church without problem and the perk of my particular clan of vampires is being able to make people crazy, temporarily at first but if you keep stocked up on blood you can keep doing it.

[gothams_joker]

[He shrugs]

Can't be right all the time. And has anybody told you that y'look like a mad scientist? You should work with that. Vampire scientist might do some damage.

[He sits casually, crossing his legs]

And thanks but no thanks. I like doing things my way, and I ain't giving the bat anything so easy as sunlight as a weapon.

[arach_nerd]

While you're out, could you pick up some better jokes?

[gothams_joker]

[He looks him up and down]

It appears I just did.

[arach_nerd]

Oooh, never heard that one before. Seriously though, that one's so past it's expiration date I think I'm getting food poisoning.

[gothams_joker]

[Even he chuckles]

Finally, a wit. Of sorts. But hey, in the tights-and-heroics department, you have to take what you can get.

But speaking of poisoning, I've got some ideas.

[therosensaint]

You're not funny. Just creepy.

[gothams_joker]

[He stands up, grinning all the more closely, adjusting his tie.]

Any ship sunk with all hands in a storm.