Hello, kiddies.

[gothams_joker]

Your dear Uncle Joker's back in town! Haha!

[He flops down, holding a bag of popcorn]

Y'know, it's nice being here. No Bats around who can stop me. True, I won't have the same fun, but it's a whole new playground to run around in. [He pops up a kernel and catches it between his teeth] Lemme tell you, it's refreshing being somewhere where very few people recognize your face.

I think I can make a big splash around here. [He holds up a hand in a theatrical aside] Hopefully with people's falling bodies, hahaha!

Look, you know what to do. Get out of the way and let me run rampant. I'm going to paint this place red and you're gonna let me. Because it's so much more fun that way, isn't it?

Comments

[minor_setback]

Random gratuitous slaughterings? Please. It's much more satisfying hearing the screams of your victims as you torture them.

[He's slightly a hypocrite with what he just said.]

I have a whole pile of Twilight fanfics lined up for everyone.

AU Harley/Harleen :P

[byebye_mistah_j]

[It only took about three seconds of her having a shocked face before she whipped out a gun and pointed it at Joker's head.]

Joker.

[gothams_joker]

[He held up a hand, waving, his trademark grin firmly planted on his face. He's getting quite used to being in different universes and timelines. It's like Christmas every day, really.]

Ooooh, is that Dr.Quinzell? And with a firearm, no less. Will wonders never cease!

[gothams_joker]

Of course, but there's more than one way to torture someone. You don't even need to use the thumbscrews these days. It's all psychological.

[He sighs]

I miss the old-fashioned ways. A hammer to the finger joints, a simple car battery and jumpers! No respect for the classics.

[But, to the matter at hand]

And, hey, now and again, a good sudden murder is like punctuation. A literal punch-line! Heh heh heh...and then you've got the opportunity for a good line! Like 'they got the point', or 'that cut them short'. There's such a thing as showmanship, y'know.

[byebye_mistah_j]

Well at least you have the decency to call me by my name.

[She decides she won't be killing him or trying to, considering he would just get back up later but she's keeping him at a distance with that gun.]

I'll give you some information to catch up. I was once Harley Quinn already but you decided you didn't need me any more and pulled the metaphorical rug out from under me. Told me absolutely everything and was ready to bash my head in. You never expected me to kill you first.

[gothams_joker]

[He yawned, folding his arms behind his head]

They let you be a doctor again? Sheesh, Arkham goes through doctors like Batman goes through ripped tights! Well, someone up there must be doing their job right.

Y'know, it's kinda funny. Even if you did kill me - and I've got some severe doubts on that score, maestro - you'd never be rid of me. You're my masterpiece, kiddo, a herald for me when you think about it. Ain't that a scream?

Oh, and Harley dear? If I told you everything, you wouldn't be standing there holding a gun like a security blanket.

[minor_setback]

Psychological torture has it's advantages, too, you know. Physical wounds can fade, but mental scars last forever, only being able to be buried. It will always be there, no matter how hard they try to get rid of the memories.

Hmm... You may have a point there. Killing random people may intimidate people, but I feel the need to make my killings meaningful.

[byebye_mistah_j]

Well no, not exactly but I prefer that old name to Harley. I was applying for a nursing job before I was brought here.

[Wait why was she tell him this? Whatever she had things to be angry about.]

What could you possibly have to tell me that would make me want to shoot you any less?

[gothams_joker]

See? You send a message at the same time you inflict pain on others. It works on a lot of levels.

[He chews some popcorn]

Y'know, that whole Twilight thing. Good for business. Anything that makes people less wary of dark characters is, really.

[gothams_joker]

[Because he still knew her mind. He'd deconstructed it, after all. And her biggest Achilles' heels were her inquiring nature and her suppressed enthusiasm]

Harley, I keep a lot of secrets until I'm good and ready. Or maybe I'll never tell. Or maybe there aren't any secrets. That's the trick, ain't it? You'll never know.

[minor_setback]

It's not just the fact that it puts dark characters in a better light. There's something to be said for the level of hatred for both that book and the majority of fanfiction that exists.

[gothams_joker]

[He blinks, in some confusion]

People care about that? Sheesh, minds are melting faster than I thought. I should try running for Mayor. I can fool enough of the yutzes enough of the time, haha.

[byebye_mistah_j]

Sorry Joker, I don't care about your secrets that much. Nice try though.

[She would aim and shoot as his knee.]

Oh an lovely thing; even though I'm "rehabilitated" my moral standards are still a little altered. So I have no problems with killing you again.

[minor_setback]

People care about a lot of things. Rip away the things that bring them comfort and joy, then attach their worst fears onto them. They'll soon be screaming like lunatics.

[gothams_joker]

[He looks at the neat little hole in the couch by his knee. Gosh, she actually took a pot-shot at him. He's up, standing, and applauding]

Well, gosh, will you look at that! Maybe you do have a killer instinct after all. I've trained you well. And y'know, kiddo, I don't know about whatever rube of a Joker you had where you're from...

[And he had done it while he was getting up. Theatricality was a great distraction. From jacket pocket to the sleeve, all covered by clapping and quick movement. As he stands, the grenade slides right out into his palm, and he pulls the pin, holding it in a deadman switch]

But I'm a lot harder to kill than just pulling a gun.

[He grins, darkly.]

Did you really think a half-assed job of pulling a gun would do the trick? Hee hee, it's funny, really. You're all 'better' now - but you just went for simple violence. A tool. Because, Harley, that's what I made you. Even if you were bright enough, fast enough, good enough to bring me down - I still made you what you are, and always will be.

But tell you what. [He tosses her the pin] I'll give you a shot at the champ. For old times' sake. [And as he tosses the grenade at her, he dives over the couch, going for his own gun.]

[gothams_joker]

[He rolls his eyes]

So what I've always done. Thanks, you've been wonderfully helpful.

[killerinpinknblack]

Noki and Luki like your kind of fun, mister!

[minor_setback]

[evil doesn't like being sarcasm'd. He pulls his large gun out of hammerspace and shoots a fireball toward The Joker.]

I would suggest you watch your tongue.

[killerinblacknpink]

We do! we do!

[byebye_mistah_j]

[She actually let herself get distracted, she should know better but she only managed to notice when he pulled the grenade. With little other choice she would shoot the grenade mid-air and then run after the Joker.]

You were too busy laughing and thinking you won to notice I pulled my gun.

[She would dive after him over the couch and would attempt to press her gun against him.]

But I will admit you made me what I am. I just didn't become what you expected. Look at me pulling my gun on a villain instead of a-

[Shock overtakes her, that was it.]

I was your final statement to Batman. "Isn't it just easier to kill them Batsie?!" How could I not see it?

[gothams_joker]

[He looked at the gun for a moment, then at her. And he listened. And then he started laughing. Just as the grenade detonated from where it had been knocked by her shot. Otherwise the blast would've done some damage.]

You poor deluded fool. What a lousy version of my universe you must have come from...hahahahahahahahaha-hahaha! What is it, a giant soap opera?

[He wiped away a false tear, shaking his head]

Final statement? Final statement? You were an escape plan that went better than expected. A get out of jail free card that kept paying out. I broke your silly little mind 'cuz I could. Ain't it a riot? Oh, sure, other things happened - but you were a tool, Harley. A tool as Harleen, a better tool as Harley.

[And he moves fast as a snake, and he slides a finger behind the trigger on her gun, preventing what will likely be an automatic attempt to blow his head off after that statement. Because she'd have fired if he went to push it aside. Never do what they expect. He's good at that. She's got a lot of options, but he's sure as hell not going to let her shoot him. Not today.]

[gothams_joker]

Oh, goodie, a fan club! Ain't it grand! And I haven't even blown anything up, cut someone up, or gunned up a bank or anything. I think I'm gonna like it here.

[gothams_joker]

[He can move fast when he wants to. Years of street fights and fighting the Dark Knight'll do that for a fella. He flips back off the couch, away from that.]

Aww, did I bother the little rat? [His own gun is already in hand] You're out of your league, fuzzball.

[byebye_mistah_j]

Actually that makes me feel better. Glad you didn't plan on dying. It means it was worth something.

[While holding the gun with one hand she would punch him in the face.]

Sorry I guess I picked up your flair for the dramatic. Did you know we actually have a kid in another universe? She ends up killing you and acting as adopted aunt to the new Bat.

[She smirks.]

So face it Joker, you're not immortal.

[minor_setback]

I'm a cat, and you're out of your league. I am Evil the Cat, soon-to-be destroyer of the universe!

[He fires off again.]