Hello, kiddies.

[gothams_joker]

Your dear Uncle Joker's back in town! Haha!

[He flops down, holding a bag of popcorn]

Y'know, it's nice being here. No Bats around who can stop me. True, I won't have the same fun, but it's a whole new playground to run around in. [He pops up a kernel and catches it between his teeth] Lemme tell you, it's refreshing being somewhere where very few people recognize your face.

I think I can make a big splash around here. [He holds up a hand in a theatrical aside] Hopefully with people's falling bodies, hahaha!

Look, you know what to do. Get out of the way and let me run rampant. I'm going to paint this place red and you're gonna let me. Because it's so much more fun that way, isn't it?

Comments

[minor_setback]

People care about a lot of things. Rip away the things that bring them comfort and joy, then attach their worst fears onto them. They'll soon be screaming like lunatics.

[gothams_joker]

[He rolls his eyes]

So what I've always done. Thanks, you've been wonderfully helpful.

[minor_setback]

[evil doesn't like being sarcasm'd. He pulls his large gun out of hammerspace and shoots a fireball toward The Joker.]

I would suggest you watch your tongue.

[gothams_joker]

[He can move fast when he wants to. Years of street fights and fighting the Dark Knight'll do that for a fella. He flips back off the couch, away from that.]

Aww, did I bother the little rat? [His own gun is already in hand] You're out of your league, fuzzball.

[minor_setback]

I'm a cat, and you're out of your league. I am Evil the Cat, soon-to-be destroyer of the universe!

[He fires off again.]

[gothams_joker]

Hahahahaha, they sure make cats ugly this day. You look like you went south on the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

[And he's just gonna keep moving, and start shooting back]

[minor_setback]

[Surprisingly, being called ugly doesn't bother him that much. He jumps behind a convenient sofa to take cover, then hacks up a couple of acid furballs, firing them directly at The Joker.]

[gothams_joker]

[He ducks those, rolling for cover. And he has a gas grenade on him somewhere...]

Hahaha, what was your mother, a lab rat? Daddy must've been a little blind...

[minor_setback]

Yes, I did turn my mother into a lab rat. It was the easiest way to perfect my torturing technique.

[Evil then tries to contain The Joker into a single spot, firing acid furballs randomly so that the end result would be the floor collapsing in on The Joker.]

[gothams_joker]

[That's a good idea. It'd probably work on, say, Penguin or one of the others.. But he's quick and is always going for his own plans.]

Well I bet that made for a fun Mother's day. See hallmark make a card for that one.

[And look down. That's a grenade rolling up to you, about to blow. Is it high explosive? Or his patented, eventually lethal laughing gas? Why, it could be either!]

[minor_setback]

Fortunately, I don't celebrate mother's day.

[He then sees the grenade and his eyes go wide. He has no time to react to what happens.]

[gothams_joker]

[Have the pink cloud of gas. He'll be quite interested to see the results on a crazy talking cat-thing.]

[Plus, it gives him time to reload at the very least]

Funny enough, neither do I.

[minor_setback]

[Evil's face gets sprayed with that pink gas and he flings at it, trying to remove the smoke from his eyes. He also coughs quite a bit. After the smoke clears, Evil the Cat recovers and smiles.]

Commendable distraction. Or rather, it would be if I haven't had my own Henchrat sneak up behind you.

[He hopes that works. Also...

Waaaaaaait for it...]

[gothams_joker]

[He shrugs]

Can't blame a clown for trying. I thought your uncontrollable - and painful - laughter might've been fun.

[And he assumes a deadpan look]

Really? The old 'snuck up behind you' trick? And you think you can seize control of anything larger than a laundromat?

[Anything behind him would kinda get stabbed anyways, so...good luck for the henchrat?]

[minor_setback]

Drat.

[He unsheathes his claws.]

I'll just have to make you into mincemeat.

[He laughs a little afterwords, getting a little more severe after that. But watch out! Evil just lunged at you, swiping his claws!]

[gothams_joker]

Hahaha! Gives a new meaning to the term 'hand to hand combat'!

[And he's good at dodging. And he's also good at knives. This is going to be quite the spinning, bladed dance]

[minor_setback]

[Evil takes a few hits from the knives and backs away from the combination of pain and uncontrollable laughter. Seriously, why can't he stop laughing?]

HAHAHAHA-wh- what did you- HAHAHAHAHA!

[gothams_joker]

[Oh, he's got a few, too, because claws aren't something you can easily disarm. But he grins.]

Oooh, delayed reaction. Ain't that a kick in the pants, ha ha! It's my patented laughing gas. And here I thought it wasn't gonna work.

[minor_setback]

[See icon. It's what he's feeling inside, but he's incapable at expressing anger at all at the moment. He just continues to laugh and laugh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -minor- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- setback- HAHAHAHAHAHA

[He continues to laugh until he dies. Congradulations, Evil now has 8 lives left. ...Joker would probably want to make his escape now before Evil recovers from death.]

[gothams_joker]

[He watches it all with keen interest, then stretches and yawns]

Nothing like a bit of murder and mayhem before bed.

[He starts walking off, hands in pockets, whistling.]

Maybe I'll knock over a doughnut shop before I retire. Yeah, sounds fun...heh he he he hee....