Hello, kiddies.

[gothams_joker]

Your dear Uncle Joker's back in town! Haha!

[He flops down, holding a bag of popcorn]

Y'know, it's nice being here. No Bats around who can stop me. True, I won't have the same fun, but it's a whole new playground to run around in. [He pops up a kernel and catches it between his teeth] Lemme tell you, it's refreshing being somewhere where very few people recognize your face.

I think I can make a big splash around here. [He holds up a hand in a theatrical aside] Hopefully with people's falling bodies, hahaha!

Look, you know what to do. Get out of the way and let me run rampant. I'm going to paint this place red and you're gonna let me. Because it's so much more fun that way, isn't it?

Comments

[byebye_mistah_j]

Sorry Joker, I don't care about your secrets that much. Nice try though.

[She would aim and shoot as his knee.]

Oh an lovely thing; even though I'm "rehabilitated" my moral standards are still a little altered. So I have no problems with killing you again.

[gothams_joker]

[He looks at the neat little hole in the couch by his knee. Gosh, she actually took a pot-shot at him. He's up, standing, and applauding]

Well, gosh, will you look at that! Maybe you do have a killer instinct after all. I've trained you well. And y'know, kiddo, I don't know about whatever rube of a Joker you had where you're from...

[And he had done it while he was getting up. Theatricality was a great distraction. From jacket pocket to the sleeve, all covered by clapping and quick movement. As he stands, the grenade slides right out into his palm, and he pulls the pin, holding it in a deadman switch]

But I'm a lot harder to kill than just pulling a gun.

[He grins, darkly.]

Did you really think a half-assed job of pulling a gun would do the trick? Hee hee, it's funny, really. You're all 'better' now - but you just went for simple violence. A tool. Because, Harley, that's what I made you. Even if you were bright enough, fast enough, good enough to bring me down - I still made you what you are, and always will be.

But tell you what. [He tosses her the pin] I'll give you a shot at the champ. For old times' sake. [And as he tosses the grenade at her, he dives over the couch, going for his own gun.]

[byebye_mistah_j]

[She actually let herself get distracted, she should know better but she only managed to notice when he pulled the grenade. With little other choice she would shoot the grenade mid-air and then run after the Joker.]

You were too busy laughing and thinking you won to notice I pulled my gun.

[She would dive after him over the couch and would attempt to press her gun against him.]

But I will admit you made me what I am. I just didn't become what you expected. Look at me pulling my gun on a villain instead of a-

[Shock overtakes her, that was it.]

I was your final statement to Batman. "Isn't it just easier to kill them Batsie?!" How could I not see it?

[gothams_joker]

[He looked at the gun for a moment, then at her. And he listened. And then he started laughing. Just as the grenade detonated from where it had been knocked by her shot. Otherwise the blast would've done some damage.]

You poor deluded fool. What a lousy version of my universe you must have come from...hahahahahahahahaha-hahaha! What is it, a giant soap opera?

[He wiped away a false tear, shaking his head]

Final statement? Final statement? You were an escape plan that went better than expected. A get out of jail free card that kept paying out. I broke your silly little mind 'cuz I could. Ain't it a riot? Oh, sure, other things happened - but you were a tool, Harley. A tool as Harleen, a better tool as Harley.

[And he moves fast as a snake, and he slides a finger behind the trigger on her gun, preventing what will likely be an automatic attempt to blow his head off after that statement. Because she'd have fired if he went to push it aside. Never do what they expect. He's good at that. She's got a lot of options, but he's sure as hell not going to let her shoot him. Not today.]

[byebye_mistah_j]

Actually that makes me feel better. Glad you didn't plan on dying. It means it was worth something.

[While holding the gun with one hand she would punch him in the face.]

Sorry I guess I picked up your flair for the dramatic. Did you know we actually have a kid in another universe? She ends up killing you and acting as adopted aunt to the new Bat.

[She smirks.]

So face it Joker, you're not immortal.

[gothams_joker]

[He takes the punch, and fires one back, then goes for her throat, finally pushing the gun aside]

What lousy-ass universe do you come from? And oh, I'm not immortal - not yet, anyways, never know in this funny old world - but, see, there's ways to be immortal then there's ways.

[byebye_mistah_j]

One without your ugly face.

[She doesn't look afraid to die, actually she was looking him right in the eyes.]

[gothams_joker]

[He sighs.]

Suicidal and schoolyard level insults. I'd have shot your version of me myself. Lousy job, just lousy.

[Then, it looks like an idea occurs to him]

But hey, you're gettin' all scientific, so whaddaya say to a little experiment? [His hand shifts to his 'special' flower and it's ready-to-go gas payload]

[byebye_mistah_j]

Oh god no!

[She screeched as she saw the flower and moved around.]

Get that damn gas away from me!

[But really she was just being theatrical because with all that wiggling she would pull out a knife from her coat pocket and attempted to stab him in the stomach.]

I learned something pretty important from you "puddin'" always bring a second weapon.

[gothams_joker]

[He leaps back, but not quite fast enough. A line of red appeared across his stomach. Not a killer blow, but it'll sting quite a bit]

Heh heh...clever girl. I was all tied up in how big a loser you are, forgot you were quick, too. Must be getting rusty.

[Some of his razor-cards drop into a gloved hand] Speaking of rust - had your tetanus shots?

[byebye_mistah_j]

That's how you died actually. You were too focused on your joke.

[Once again, she wasn't afraid of a little pain.]

No but there is a doctor in the mun's head space so I'll be alright.

[She suddenly looked surprised and seemed to wave at someone behind Joker.]

Hey Batman. You're right on time.

[Of course if Joker turned around he'd find out there was no one there, if he fell for that old trick.]

[gothams_joker]

[Once again, he sighs. See, that's a bad trick for two reasons. One, he watches eyes. Two, either way, he's still going to fling the cards.]

Moving right along.

[He flings the cards]